Why You Should Ignore Dream Crushers.

The cost of listening to these types of people are paid with your dreams.

Have you ever had a burning desire to do something that makes your soul sing? Yet, when you talk about it to someone, they suck the ever-living life out of you. When you confide about your hopes, dreams, and aspirations, they either think you are completely bat-shit crazy or you are out of touch with reality.

Have you ever had someone crush your dreams, and reduce your happiness all in one breath? It’s unbearable. It takes a toll on your spirit.

Perhaps it was a parent, a close family member or best friend. Maybe it was a coworker you thought you could trust. Either way, they don’t think you are being rational when you talk about your dreams. “Get to work and stop daydreaming”, they tell you. Or “stop living in fantasy land”. Or “that’s unrealistic”. Or they laugh in your face.

These troubled souls are dream-crushers. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced a few in my time. I bet you have as well. I’d even go so far to say we all at some point in our lives have experienced a dream-crusher.

What can you do? A majority of the population folds under pressure and listens to the whim of the dream-crusher. A very small part of the population laughs back and says “watch me”.

I recently listed to a podcast where dream-crushers was the topic. I found it fascinating and began thinking about the people I had in my life who sucked me dry of my dreams in my 20s and 30s. Sadly, I allowed them. Worst of all, I was unaware of how I was letting them sink their claws in me and break my mind. I was oblivious to what was taking place. Nor did I know any better. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

I allowed for a very mediocre life. I accepted and believed the negativity that was being spewed on me by those I thought who loved me. But deep inside, I craved a better life and knew I was more deserving than how I was living at that time.

Dream-crushers are people who talk you out of your hopes, dreams, and aspirations. They don’t think you’re capable of achieving the desires of your heart because ultimately they want to keep you boxed in. They don’t share your values or optimistic attitude. They don’t see what you see. They don’t care about what you want or think. They are the proverbial ‘wolf in sheep's clothing’.

Did you want to start your own business, but were talked out of it? Did you want to pursue a creative career, only to be told you weren’t talented enough? Have you wanted to further your education, only to be informed that smart people go to college, and you’re not smart enough? The list is endless.

Dream-crushers keep you boxed in because they too live a mediocre life, and have no dreams of their own. They react to life, instead of being proactive. They have excuses for everything. They may “want” things. But they don’t want to put forth the effort and energy it takes to achieve the results. If they’re not achieving their dreams, why should you? Dream-crushers are straight-up lazy.

Dream-crushers project misery on you. In turn, you start questioning everything you dream and want in life. You question yourself. You begin to rationalize WHY you shouldn’t have X, Y, and Z. You find yourself making excuses, just like your dream-crusher makes excuses. You have bought into their lies and manipulation.

“Those too weak to follow their dreams always find ways to discourage others” — Anonymous

At what point do you start living your dreams? You have goals. Whether most people understand it or not, goals are dreams. You have hope to achieve your dreams. Hope is the minimum requirement. Now you need the grit and determination to follow through.

But you have a dream-crusher holding you back. You carry them like the dead-weight they actually are. You are waiting for them to “see the light” and view your dreams as a reality with you. You are holding on the hope they will change their thoughts, and be a part of your dream realization. You are still holding on to fantasy.

Don’t be tethered. Cut the cord!

You are only responsible for yourself. You are the one who will make all your dreams come true. No one else can do this for you.

If you have an active dream-crusher in your life, continue your path in making your dreams a reality. You can do it without them.

Here are some simple things you can do:

• Keep a journal. This may sound cheesy, but it works. Only you are going to read it. In this journal, write out the steps you will take to make your dreams a reality. Be bold. Be proactive. The only limitation you have is your mind.
• Obsess about your dreams. Feel them. Daydream about them. Think about your own creativity. Think about investing in yourself.
• Find a way to make your dreams a reality. It’s not enough to only think about them. Take some kind of action, even if it’s small at first. Baby steps lead to big steps, which lead to bigger results. If you’re serious enough, you’ll find a way.
• Set realistic goals. This is not a time to set yourself up for failure. You have big dreams, but break them up into smaller digestible steps. You may make mistakes, but you’ll learn to tweak and adjust your process along the way. I’ve said it before in another article I wrote, and I’ll say it again here… Progress, not perfection.
• Get out of your comfort zone. Get real comfortable and cozy with being uncomfortable. This is where progress is made.
• Change your mindset from “I can’t” to “I can and I will”. Stop listening to the dream-crusher! Instead, listen to motivational podcasts, find inspiration, become part of a community that will cheer you on, and one you can learn from as well. Surround yourself with like-minded people. Completely tune-out the dream-crusher negativity.
• Most importantly… Believe in yourself and never let another dream-crusher tell you otherwise!

Luckily today I am pursuing my dreams and passions. I have managed to claw my way out of the clutches of the dream-crushers who were once in my life. There is one left, but he is a family member. I keep my distance. When we must mingle, I keep my world to myself and let the happiness I emit speak for itself. I don’t divulge details.

When your life shifts and moves in a different direction, oftentimes your dream-crusher will move on as well. They will be removed. Or at the very least, interactions will be minimum. While this may be hurtful at first (especially if it’s someone you love, or a friend or family member), it is for the best. You will adjust. You have bigger and better things to achieve in life.

Pearls of Wisdom

Dream-crushers are people who talk you out of your hopes, dreams, and aspirations. They are the nay-sayers who can’t achieve their dreams, so they attack yours. Surround yourself with others who lift you up and inspire.

Identify the people in your life who are your dream-crushers. Stop listening to them. Stop investing time and energy in someone who only brings you down, and does not lift you up. If it is a loved one, have a crucial conversation with them, and establish strict boundaries.

Start with simple, baby steps to begin making the shift: Keep a journal, get determined, find a way to make your dreams come true, set realistic goals, get out of your comfort zone, and completely flush and detox your mind of the negative spew.

Start listening to your inner navigation system. It will guide you. It’s there for a reason.

You can achieve all your hopes, dreams, and aspirations.

Get some grit, get determined, and get to work!

Feel free to reach out and contact me via Medium, or shoot me an email: [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you!