avatarJessey Anthony

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Why You Need to Fear Dark Empaths More than Narcissists

How to know if the love of your life is using his empathy for evil.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Are you dating a charming, persuasive, confident, daring, enthusiastic, and emotional intelligence guy, yet something seems off about him? Chances are, you could be dealing with a dark empath.

We know the two exceptional personality types but are at odds with each other. On the one hand, we have caring and empathetic friends. And on the other side, we have toxic manipulators- the dark triads.

Empaths readily perceive the emotions of others and are known to be vulnerable in the face of anxiety, emotional burnout and intimacy.

Conversely, toxic archetypes often have those dark triads of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. They have an inflated sense of superiority and right, exploit and manipulate others, and are often seen as cold-hearted scenic.

Since these two characters are totally opposite to each other, it can be surprising to know that there are people who fall into both categories. These people are classified as dark empaths.

Emerging studies suggest that up to a fifth of the general population could be considered dark empathy. However, we need more studies to confirm these startling statistics.

The fascinating thing about dark empathy is that they are kind, compassionate, and capable of emotional connection. But they are more often perceived as cold, as the traits of the dark triad come to the surface.

These people are considered more dangerous and hostile than the average human: their dark traits, coupled with the fact that they have very little respect for the feelings of others, make them unpredictable and aggressive.

Dark empaths have the capacity to be callous and merciless, but they can limit that aggression with their empathic qualities.

If you are worried whether your man is a dark empath or not, here are five signs to clarify your doubt.

They have open-minded behaviors

Dark empaths are characterized by a more extroverted dynamic behavior with a high openness. They generally have exceptional social skills. They may find it easy to explain their perceptive or inner thoughts.

While they may be kind or open-minded, dark empaths aren’t pushovers. A key difference between empathy and dark empathy is that dark empathy experiences stronger cognitive empathy, allowing them to exploit vulnerability rather than encourage connection.

Basically, if they see a chance to manipulate someone, they will immediately grab it. And sexual exploitation is much easier for those who can naturally understand the emotional state of others.

They possess narcissistic and neurotic tendencies

Some dark empaths are clearly narcissists. While others hid their narcissism deep down. Either way, this personality trait is extremely vulnerable to their self-centered nature.

You can tell when someone is a victim of their own narcissism when they take things too personally. Criticism or negativity toward them in childhood is often the cause of pain. And they can also be described as rejection sensitive. The words “no” can cut like a knife.

For the dark empaths, pride is essential for survival, and they might protect it with ignorance or a superiority complex. While it is unlikely for them to lash out with violence, passive aggression comes easily.

People with this personality type also tend to possess neurotic tendencies and experience anxiety, depression, or euphemism. These marked states of emotional ups and downs are often as a result of unresolved past emotional pains and trauma.

They enjoy having power over others

While most people enjoy or even desire power, a hunger for power is a dominant key character trait of traditional dark triads who typically like to be in charge all the time.

What sets dark empaths apart from the classic dark triads is that they display participatory leadership. That means they dispose of following others, but they don’t always want to leaders either.

They will easily tell you who the boss is, but they aren’t as eager to take on the responsibility of being the boss.

With that said, dark empathy often bring out the best in other people. They can motivate, inspire and lead when it suits them. The result is usually a team that works together, actively participates, and achieves goals.

They are emotionally manipulative

Their exceptional skill in emotional manipulation primarily describes dark empaths. This is what makes them so dangerous.

Even if they won’t physically harm you, they can leave you with deep emotional scars. They see empathy as a tool because it helps them understand others so that they can get what they want. They are very good at persuasion, especially when they have a personal goal in mind.

They may love to bomb you, behave well around your family, and appear to be the perfect match for you, but inside they only want you for your money or the value you can give them.

They can be very charming and put you on a pedestal and then be the person who knocks that pedestal down.

They derive joy in guilt-tripping others

Guilt trip is a form of emotional manipulation, and dark empaths are known for their skill in this regard.

While dark triads lack empathy and struggle to understand emotion, dark empaths understand others’ emotions with ease, particularly shame and obligation, which helps to feel the guilt trip when using it.

Dark empaths use empathy as an instrument to get others to do what they want and make you feel guilty for something they did.

Essentially, dark empaths rarely use their empathy to display love and affection commonly associated with empaths.

They like spreading blemish and malicious rumor

Dark empaths enjoy malicious rumors, especially jokes that target other people’s weaknesses and insecurities. They enjoy laughing at people they see as beneath them. And these judgments are often rooted in prejudice.

When someone else is in pain, they might exploit it and throw hurtful jokes that help lift up the dark empaths spirit when they want to feel superior.

If you notice someone relies on sarcasm to write off hurtful or malicious comments as jokes, it can mean they have dark empathy as a personality trait.

They are full of gossip and drama

If your partner is always badmouthing their co-worker or friends whenever you are together, you can bet they talk about you too behind your back.

Dark empaths are professional backstabbers. They are cute when they are getting what they want from you. The moment you stop being their milk and honey or refuse to do what they asked for, they will unleash their dark traits.

When you hurt them, they become vindictive and can go as far as ruining your reputation or that of your business. They have no problem humiliating you in public.

Parting words

There are dark empaths around us, and they have been around for centuries. Take a look at the cinema and literature; you will see that dark empaths have been around for thousands of years and are even celebrated.

They often join the ranks of mysterious and evil characters who turn out to have a heart after all. Think of the high school villain, the vampire who doesn’t drink blood, or the thief who steals to take care of the needy.

How you see dark empaths is relevant, but one thing is certain: they have a powerful personality that can easily build and destroy.

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