Why We Act in Haste Only to Regret at Ease

Examining Our Quick Actions and Their Lingering Regrets

Have you ever acted on impulse in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later?

This common experience reveals how we decide from the emotions of our heart, not from the logic of reality perceived by our reasoning mind.

Emotions can easily make something feel real, as it is the most natural thing to do. On the other hand, thinking, especially while keeping our emotions aside, is not natural to us.

Understanding Impulsive Decisions:

Naturally, our mind is wired to take things seriously when there are immediate consequences, like running from a lion. However, in everyday life, activities like exercise or making healthy choices don’t seem urgent. Because consequences aren’t right in front of us.

We impatiently make mistakes and then patiently regret them when we have time.

Reframing Impulsivity:

The solution to impulsive behavior may lie within the problem itself. Often, we rush decisions because we’re eager to see our desires become reality and move on to the next exciting thing. However, if we invert this approach — recognizing that our mistakes often stem from not allocating enough time to consider our options — we can learn to appreciate the value of patience.

If it is not a matter of life or death, then we should give the thought or decision time to mature. To become ripe.

The Growth of Decisions:

Let it grow into something meaningful; only then can we see the seed of a decision become a tree. Which can eventually give us shade, fruits and wood. In the heat of the moment, we can only see the tiny seed. However, thinking beyond our emotions and impulses, we can see that life giving tree.

I believe there will always be a time to determine if the decision matters to us in the long run. Take any regretful decision you can remember and think. Did I not have enough time to think that through?

Now think about the decisions where you took your time to come to a conclusion and confidently went ahead. I bet that you have no regrets about that decision even today.

The Illusion of Successful Impulsivity:

I understand that there will be some decisions where everything went well, even if we impatiently acted on them.

Here is the turning point. What happens is that when more than enough of our impatient decisions goes well, we convince ourselves that it’s alright to go with our gut feelings. Soon this becomes a habit, and soon we find ourselves drowning in the ocean of our own impatient decisions.

We often confuse worry with hurry. Meaning when we are confused and unable to decide, but the decision must be made anyway, we misinterpret that worry with urgency and hurriedly rush to the unripe decision.

Personal Strategies:

I frequently say: if it’s an external issue, we can find an external tool, but if it’s internal and involves thoughts, then you need to find an internal tool. I think decision-making is mostly internal dialog with our mind.

What you need to do is to remind yourself that you are impatient. Accepting our nature is the first step towards change. Our habit of impatience is not going anywhere. We need to put that habit aside and focus on the habit of being patient.

What I like to do in case of my impatient nature is that I keep reminding myself that I am impatient and should be patient.

I have woven these thoughts into my daily encounters, such as wallpapers of my PC, random reminders on my phone which occur every 4 or 6 days. A reminder to check the photo album I created with photos of most rewarding decisions, which I am glad that I took time to come to a conclusion.

So next time the bug of impatient urgency begins to jump up and down, feed it these ideas so that it sits still.