Why the Youth Wants Adventure Instead of Stability

Creating new rules is a choice to make bold decisions.

Most of the career advice I have received until now all revolved around getting financial security as soon as possible and set camp in your house.

We can do that as early as we reach 25 years. Then what? What about more than half of our life.

We just eat, marry and get fat? No one tells the rest of the story because it is simple to give short term advice and escape the conversation.

Questioning an advice is a bold action and you don’t have to do it every time.

You just have to shut down a person once

One man was trying to give me one-liner advice. I punched him with my words. As I can remember, he was 30 years older than me. Yes, you heard it right, “was”. He died around three years ago.

Once we were dining near a bonfire, I was in the first year of college. My father and one uncle were discussing my career.

Uncle: “After you finish college, go prepare for civil services.” Me: “Shut your damn mouth and give that advice to your child instead.”

Do you want to know what I did next? My dad was sitting beside me, and I ran like a deer before he nukes me for talking aggressively.

My father wanted me to apologise, but I didn’t do it. How would you feel if you spent two years to get to a college of your dream, and the next person says to change your career direction? If you are confident, you speak up to that naysayer!

You have lot of choices to try

We get outmoded advice when we aren’t aware of our decisions. I am not saying civil services are bad or anything.

I am just saying there are other fishes in the ocean. My taste doesn’t have to agree with anyone forcibly. The “choice” and “fate” are two different things. Control your choices so that you can change your fate.

We don’t want stability because the people who give us such opinion do not show their proper view.

Saturation is not for your mind, evolution is.

Around six years ago, I had no idea what becoming independent means. I was dependent on my father for almost everything. If I wanted to go coaching, he would drop me. I was even scared to use public transport fearing that they would dupe me. If I wanted to go shopping, he would take me.

The problem with a stable life is it stops your brain development. You need to expose your mind to new challenges and possibilities to know what you are capable of doing. Once you think that you have earned enough or you have learned enough, that is a doom’s day for your mental health, and you will stop growing.

Brain ageing is a natural thing. I have researched it, and the worst thing you can do for your brain is to be stable all the time. Stability does not mean only the financial one. It means overall stability.

I have a benchmark about what stability means. Once I achieve that, I push to learn some more because that is how we eventually grow.

Nowadays, no one gives me career advice. Even if someone tries to, I ask a few practical things to shut them down. Here are some queries that are simple but difficult to answer:

• Have you tried it yourself? How did it turn out?
• How much do you trust what you’re saying?
• Have you given yourself the same advice?
• Support your point with evidence.

Practical advice hurts and questions hurt deeper because now you can’t escape without answering.

Final words

Don’t let non-empathetic advice stop you from following your dreams. I too get negative feedback when I write boldly on some topics which sound controversial to the Indian community like civil services and religion.

I am never going to talk about religion openly because I am more on the atheist side and never use “God” in any sentence. I just did in the last sentence. You had me. But only this time!

Although, if I hear the same advice about stability, security and set the life as early as possible, I have a proper answer to it, “Adventure feeds my brain to overcome the challenge, and without challenges, we never grow.” Some people will love you for being so straightforward. Hold on to them. They will be with you forever.

This blog belongs to a series of posts I am publishing in this 100-days streak. Navigate to the end of article 22, for the references from day 23 onwards. If you would like to read the ones before day 22, here is the first one that documents them in the end.

~ Sanjeev