Why Suffering is the only proof of Happiness
Uncovering the sweet spot between burnout and salvation.
Some of us hate the idea of suffering more than we need to bear, but what if I told you that voluntarily looking to inflict more suffering on your life may actually be of benefit?
I’m not talking about in the masochistic sense (although to some degree it does apply); I’m talking about pushing our threshold, even while we’re buckling at our knees, reestablishing what we deem to be the end of our limits.
Whether we like it or not, it’s here, in the suffering where true growth occurs. It’s humbles me time and time again no matter what lengths I take to try and hide away from it, making me believe it’s a universal truth we can longer deny.
Life is suffering
Hey, Buddha said it! We think of the most ‘Zen’ when we hear‘ Meditation’ and ‘Enlightenment’ said these words. But why? What did he mean by that?
Suffering comes with the territory of being human; it’s a vital component of our self-development as a species. Pursuing a worthwhile goal brings forward obstacles that we need to overcome to proceed with the journey. It is the desert we must walk to find our Oasis. It is the Hell we must undertake to find our Salvation.
Living a fulfilled life full of depth and purpose requires one to confront the suffering within and without, no matter how painful, sooner or later we find ourselves succumbing to it in one form of another.
The Two Sufferings of Life
In my thirty years on this planet, to me, life comprises of two sufferings:
Suffer existentially or suffer responsibility.
To suffer existentially means to appease your lesser self, giving in to hedonistic pleasures, choosing to binge yourself silly on life’s vices to escape it all, to do whatever you want without care or consequence, devoid of any want for depth or character of any significance.
When pleasure and an irresponsible lifestyle are pursued, you’ll soon find yourself empty inside, craving, starving for a deeper meaning and guidance for your life.
To suffer existentially is; where, deep down, you know you entertained the parts of you that bring out your worst habits. Depending on where we are in our lives, it can be so easy then to fall into a self-inflicted pit, where we begin questioning our existence, focusing so much on our guilt and shame that we are not where and who we are supposed to be, by living an unfulfilled life, justifying it and pleasing our egos with grandiose distractions that keep us from ever wanting or seeking more for our lives.
Suffering responsibility is hard, too; there’s no point lying. It’s excruciatingly hard! Having said that, it is the most rewarding, meaningful, and empowering thing you could do. To borrow from Mark Manson’s, best-selling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** (flipped an iconic phrase from the Spiderman franchise), who claims that:
‘With great responsibility comes great power.’
Take on the responsibility of your dreams, take on your baggage, take on your lesser self with grit and courage, actively facing whatever obstacle arises with tenacity and boldness. You’ll be glad you did. There is a power in facing our fears voluntarily that, if tapped into, can empower us beyond what we can conceive. Ultimately, the quality of our lives correlates to the overall experience and emotions we feel day in and day out. Make sure that it isn’t one predominately based on guilt and regret. Make sure that your default setting invigorates you, one that gets you out of bed in the morning and ready to attack the day.
Make suffering work for you
Without suffering, there is no happiness. We need one for the other to have its meaning. But, if there’s one way to make suffering all the more worthwhile, it is to seek more in our everyday life actively. We can’t run away from suffering. It’s a part of the human experience. We need it as a species as it is the dissatisfaction of suffering is where we are inspired to become catalysts of change.
By bearing our own suffering, we can learn how to become a better person. It’s only when we’re tested do we know what our true power is.
Our suffering is often the result of our actions, so learn to pinpoint the reasons behind it.
Without suffering, there is no happiness. We need one for the other to have its meaning. But, if there’s one way to make suffering all the more worthwhile, it is to seek more in our everyday life actively. We can’t run away from suffering. It’s a part of the human experience. We need it as a species as it is the dissatisfaction of suffering is where we are inspired to become catalysts of change.
Now, one person’s suffering differs from another. I cannot begin to talk about mental health and depression because of its sheer vastness, but for some, this may resonate.
I can only tell you what works for me. There is no secret sauce beyond getting comfortable with confronting the things that scare us, but that will ultimately make us stronger.
It’s about desensitising the effect it by confronting it time and time again. It’s the repetition of callusing myself to something that scares or inconveniences me.
When I do that, outside of personal tragedies, life cannot touch me.