Why online dating doesn’t work for women

Or men, but many people know about the reasons it may not work well for men, so let’s start with talking about why online dating doesn’t work for women.

I think that it’s mostly for two reasons.

For one, fortunately, women’s attraction to men tends to be more holistic. In other words, it’s not just based on appearance. Sure, looks may matter to a certain degree, but for many women, they aren’t the deal breakers that some men might think they are.

So the qualities that women are attracted to can’t always be shown clearly on a dating app, qualities such as confidence, a good vibe, one’s overall body language and posture, how one interacts with others, one’s conversational and social skills, how one can make them laugh in real life, even down to things like the sound of the one’s voice and their facial expressions.

So you see, dating apps that show only a little profile can be described as being two-dimensional, whereas women’s attraction is more three-dimensional. And so when all women have to go on are pictures and little bios, that are often half filled out (if filled out at all), then women may not have much to go on other than looks and stats (such as height), which ARE superficial standards, however, some of the same men that they don’t swipe on in dating apps, they might actually give a chance or fall for if they were to meet those guys in real life. In fact, a comment on another article said plainly “Men shine in real life.” So that’s one reason that dating apps may not work well for women.

Another reason is that, for women who have sense enough to understand this, sometimes attraction takes time! In the same article that was mentioned above, a comment stated that when she was in her 20s or whatever, she went for gorgeous men, but realized that the appeals wore off after a while, at least if their relationship didn’t have anything more substantial beyond that. But then she said something interesting, which I want to quote:

Most of the men that I have really fallen hard for were kind of a slow burn. Sort of average in the looks department, but once I got to know them they became irresistable to me, more so than any “hot guy” around. There was just a certain

“Je na sais quoi” about them that I only would have discovered by being open to them in the first place.

Which is why have such a problem with modern dating.

Dating seems to demand a yes/know answer within the first few dates and, only speaking for myself, lam not that fast. I need a little bit of time. Not ages, but more than 3 dates.Maybe we should learn to slow things down a little to really get to know each other better.

So you see, that further shows that dating apps may not work well for women, because not only do dating apps, not show the full spectrum of things that women may find attractive in men escorting above, but it also requires a snap judgment, which doesn’t appeal to some women’s desire to get to know a man first. There is another idea from dating advice, and all that stuff that says that familiarity CAN breed attraction. Of course, just because a woman is around you a lot doesn’t mean that she will automatically find you attractive. I forget how the article explained it, but it was something like if you are seen as annoying or whatever, then that quality will be the quality that is more embedded in another person’s head the more that you see them. In other words, if you are likable, don’t get under their skins, and take care of yourself, the more that when a woman is around you the more she might become attracted to you. Or, you might end up in the friend zone if she feels like you are too scared to make a move or to make your interests known, but that’s probably another topic.

In any case, this might be why so many people find their significant others at work. Work is where people spend a lot of their time around others and, not only that, but there isn’t as much pretense for people to have to show their best self as they would for a date/interview. So people get to see others more or less at their best and worst. If they still find the other person to be OK after all that, attraction can build.

I know that many people have a hard rule about not dating people they work with and, at one point, I kind of adopted the same rule. But now I’m thinking, if a person doesn’t get out there very much other than to work or run errands or whatever, then why not? Unless they plan on joining local groups, events, organizations, etc. that have weekly or monthly gatherings, they might need to ease up on the “no dating coworkers” rule.

Finally, women may simply be overwhelmed with all of the options that they seem to have on dating apps, regardless if those options are good or ideal. And so being overwhelmed with options, can make it more difficult for a person to make a decision. And with many options, one may use arbitrary standards to eliminate people to make it easier on themselves. So then you have things like “Oh, he’s wearing shades and I can’t see his eyes? Next!”, etc.

As far as why dating apps don’t work well for men, there have probably been a lot of other articles written about it, but suffice it to say, there are too many men on dating sites, so the competition is fierce. And, as mentioned above, a lot of that may work against them because then women may filter their overwhelming amount of options by eliminating men based on what could appear to be trivial issues.

In conclusion, dating apps can be OK and they had their time. I think that people needed dating apps for at least a certain period of human history. I hate to say it, but most of the women that I’ve been with or dated throughout my life, I probably wouldn’t have met if I didn’t initially meet them online in some capacity, such as through a dating site or app, through social media, a chat room, etc. so for men like me and a lot of other men who either weren’t good at talking to women in real life and/or were too scared to, online dating is (or was) a lifesaver. But now it’s getting to a point where men might be better off, trying to find more affective ways to meeting women in real life. And when I say more effective, just walking up on random women that you know nothing about may not be the most effective, but one may need to position themselves to be in social situations where they can talk to women based on similar interests and hobbies or where they can see them often enough to get to know them such as joining groups that have events scheduled throughout the year, or even at work, etc.

Please share your thoughts on this information and thank you for reading and for commenting.