Summary

The article discusses the perception that women find 80% of men to be "below average" in attractiveness, questioning the fairness and implications of such standards.

Abstract

A study by OkCupid suggests that a significant majority of men are deemed unattractive by women, sparking debate over whether women's standards are too high. The author, a woman, reflects on her own experiences and those of her peers, noting that while many women are single, it's often due to a lack of shared values and interests rather than men failing to meet high standards. She observes that happy relationships can form between "average" individuals who align on what matters to them. The article argues for a reevaluation of the fear of being average, emphasizing that most people excel in some areas while being average in others. It encourages giving "average" men a chance, as they can be outstanding partners in ways that may not be immediately apparent. The author concludes by urging women to reassess their standards and consider dating "average" men, suggesting that this approach could lead to fulfilling relationships.

Opinions

The author believes that the dating landscape is influenced by a fear of being average, which is unfairly stigmatized.
She suggests that women's dating standards may be unrealistically high, potentially leading to missed opportunities for genuine connections.
The author points out that being average in some aspects does not preclude someone from being an excellent partner in other important ways.
She emphasizes that mutual values and interests are more important than superficial standards when it comes to successful relationships.
The article advocates for open-mindedness in dating, encouraging women to look beyond initial impressions and consider the deeper qualities of potential partners.

Women Say 80% of Men Are “Below Average”

Are women’s standards just too high?

A study by dating app OkCupid found that women find 80% of men unattractive or “below average.”

I mean…sounds a little steep.

As a woman myself, I can understand why women don’t want to just date anyone.

But I can’t help but question women’s priorities if the standard for men is so high that only 20% of men can hope to meet them.

Are women’s standards for men just too high?

Why are so many men considered “unattractive?”

I’ll admit it. Out of all the men I’ve encountered in my life, I’ve probably considered dating fewer than 20% of them.

This isn’t to say that most men didn’t “meet my standards.” They just didn’t share enough in common with me that it would make sense to consider pursuing a romantic relationship.

I believe they would say the same for me. It’s not a dig against men as people, but rather a misalignment of values and interests.

I think this is true for many women. Most of my female friends in their 20s are still single and actively dating. For many of them, it’s been a combination of not meeting the right person and not being the right time for a relationship.

Sometimes it’s discovering that the guy is lowkey a jerk, but most of the time, it’s just a matter of not seeing eye-to-eye on the type of relationship that both people want.

The women I know who are in happy relationships, however, are with perfectly average guys.

They met their boyfriends in college (or early on in their careers), and decided to be in a relationship. They’re average-looking, have average careers, and have average lifestyles.

But these couples are genuinely happy. They treat each other with respect and seem to support and love each other throughout life’s ups and downs.

And I’m sure to those women, their outwardly “average” boyfriends are the greatest men in the world.

Why do we fear being average?

We’ve been conditioned to think that being average is the same thing as being repeatable or replaceable. Nobody wants to feel this way. We’re constantly told to be different, to stand out, to strive for greatness.

Nobody is ever told to “be content being average.”

We have to change the way we think about the concept entirely. Being average might just be the same as being normal, or being a decent person just living your life.

Most people are average in some ways and superb in others.

Just because you have “average” looks doesn’t mean that you can’t be deeply intelligent, compassionate, or talented in other ways.

Being an “average student” doesn’t mean that you can’t be an incredible employee or team member. Being an “average” man doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t make an incredible husband or father.

Most of us are average in some things — and excellent in others.

I’ve met a number of guys who weren’t all that impressive at face value.

Okay-looking, somewhat intelligent, sweet, genuine, and available. Upon first meeting, these types of guys are easy to overlook or write off.

But I’ve found that when ladies give these types of men a chance, they are often pleasantly surprised by how kind, loving, and supportive they are as partners.

This is not to say that women should settle for someone they aren’t attracted to or someone that they find simple-minded or unintelligent.

But, it’s important to give people chances before writing them off. Just because a guy comes across as “average” in some ways doesn’t mean that he won’t be incredible in others.

For these reasons, we don’t need to seek out partners who are above average in everything, but rather in the ways that truly count.

Superficial standards based on unrealistic expectations will lead to nothing but unhappiness in the long term.

Final thoughts

Is it really possible for 80% of men to be “below average” in how attractive they are to women?

Mathematically, no. It’s not.

This isn’t to say everyone should be an open book and date whoever comes along, but we should also be taking a hard look at our standards and determine whether they are unfair to a group of potentially great people.

Ladies, if you’re still single and wondering why, try dating the “average guy” for a change.

You might just meet the love of your life.

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