Why My Approach To People Who Dislike Me Improved
What happens when you choose not to perpetuate the cycle of negativity
In life, we will certainly encounter people who just don’t seem to like us and in many cases, it will be for reasons beyond our control. Some will make no effort to hide it, so you will know right away. Others, you won’t know till after some damage is done.
It could be a challenging situation especially if you have to spend some time with them: co-workers, neighbors, family & “friends”, people in line, and so on. Finding yourself faced with such a situation will trigger a wide range of emotions in you, from hurt and confusion to defensiveness and anger. Feelings that are best dealt with effectively.
How I was…
In the past, encountering someone who didn’t like me would usually put me on the defensive. Sometimes I would react with sarcasm or some dismissive remarks which, as I now understand it, was my subconscious attempt at protecting myself from their negativity.
This reaction of mine would, more often than not, intensify the tension between us making both of us uncomfortable. At that time I couldn’t care less because I reasoned that they made me uncomfortable first so this must be how they want it. Unfortunately, this also created a toxic cycle that affected both of us which I quite frankly could have done without.
“At that time I couldn’t care less because I reasoned that they made me uncomfortable first so this must be how they want it.”
How I could have been…
I could have sought understanding. Everyone has their own unique experiences, fears, and insecurities that generally shape their perceptions of the world and the people they meet. Maybe they had some misconception I could have corrected, maybe I didn’t correctly interpret their actions or words, or maybe that’s their regular face…I would never know now.
How I am now…
As I grew older and, I dare say wiser, the way I responded to such people changed. I now tend to approach such interactions with a little empathy. So, instead of reacting impulsively like I used to, I consciously make the choice to give such people the opportunity to air their concerns, if any, and listen to them genuinely to clear any misconceptions and allay any fears.
I know many of you have heard that meeting negativity with kindness is a transformative act. Well, It’s very true! For an overwhelming majority of my interactions with such people, I find that matching their negativity with compassion and understanding diffused tension and opened the door for meaningful/productive exchange. I choose not to create a cycle of toxicity!
My advice is, this type of breakthrough is only possible if you communicate: express your thoughts and feelings calmly and respectfully; seek common ground amidst your differences and focus on shared objectives or objectives; and you will, more often than not, find that even people or attitudes you thought were insurmountable barriers could be bridged.
If all else fails…
You may not be able to reach or convert everyone. This why you must always be ready to not only set up but also enforce clear, healthy boundaries. Some people are just not open to change and I have learned to accept this limitation and just redirect my energy towards more fulfilling relationships.
I decided to share my journey of self-reflection and growth, shedding light on my previous behavior, and the path I now tread to better relate with people after reading Pimmi Pande’s story and looking back at how the way I relate to people who don’t like me has transformed, has been an enlightening journey indeed. So, the next time you encounter someone who dislikes you, first take a breath and choose understanding and communication. You might be surprised by the transformative power it holds for both of you.
Takeaways:
- Some self-reflection and a willingness to question our own behaviors and reactions to people is necessary.
- Practicing empathy, responding with kindness, and engaging in constructive communication can bring about positive changes in our relationships.
- The power not to perpetuate the cycle of negativity is ours.
- Each interaction with people who dislikes us nonetheless presents an opportunity for growth and positive connection.
If you liked this, you should sign up using my referral link, and you’ll enjoy unlimited access to all stories on Medium.com. Subscription is only $5/month and at no extra cost to you, you support all the writers you read on the platform.
Start your journey into the world of limitless reading today!