Why Masculinity is Critical to Women
And why we struggle to find it in today’s world.
We, heterosexual women, look for certain traits in a man — things like kindness, intelligence, a great sense of humor, and a well-oiled perspective.
I like to call it seasoning — it’s those underlying sexy qualities in a man that sets a woman’s heart ablaze and keeps her raptured.
Still, we’re all different.
What one woman considers a deal-breaker about a man’s nuances and personality might simultaneously be the reason another falls in love with him — beauty really is in the heart of the beholder.
It’s as David Hume said:
“Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them, and each mind perceives a different beauty.”
Nice, huh?
Tell you what else is pretty damn lovely — men.
Yup, I do love men.
Give me a man with natural charm, an open mind, emotional maturity, and a great sense of humor, and I’m down for his company.
Just don’t dish out the manipulating game players.
I am not afraid to admit my appreciation of the different and often unique perspectives a man will offer in any given situation.
How some men are wired (not all), how they think and behave is frequently delightful and, at times — really amusing. I admire the male physique and how he contrasts and feels against my body, and honestly, there is no better feeling in the world to a woman than snuggling into the arms of the man she loves.
Nirvana for lovers.
or,
Per gli amanti dell’anima?
So many of us “feminine-realized” women find the arms of our men a sweet haven away from the harsh reality of the world — like our own sacred slice of masculine-scented security.
Simple, and yet, there it is — a man’s masculinity is the one quality critical to a woman, and I’ll tell you why — we are most attracted to men who make us feel more connected to our femininity.
For a straight woman, only a man can bring that pure, masculine dynamic into a balanced and harmonic yin-yang relationship. Therefore, above all else, women who are into men (as opposed to boys and other women) naturally respond to subtle yet present masculinity.
Sidenote: I’m talking about positive masculinity — not toxic.
It doesn’t matter how independent, ambitious, or strong we are either.
A woman could be a ball-breaking CEO who has clawed her way to the top in a male-dominated corporate world, or she could be a creative soul who regularly experiences the resistance offered by her male counterparts in her industry. Regardless, when it comes to her intimate relationships, what a woman most really appreciates about a man is how his natural masculinity makes her feel when she’s around him.
The Modern Man nails it perfectly in their article, Definition of a Real Man:
“A real man is a man with genuine self-confidence and true masculinity. He’s a man who knows his own mind and knows what he’s about in life, and he’s not afraid to stand up for what he believes in.
When a man has these qualities, he has a natural self-assuredness that makes him stand out head and shoulders above other men, and women feel an instinctive sexual attraction towards him because he has what it takes to protect her and provide for her, allowing her to relax into being a woman in the relationship.”
Seasoning.
No matter how fast the world transforms with shifting gender roles, some things never change, like the energy between men and women. Not to mention that a man who possesses a nice dollop of positive masculine energy and knows how to embody that part of himself is downright sexy —
Sexy seasoning.
That’s because the saucy, masculine man is emotionally more potent than your average dude, ready to face the fire when necessary, and much more mature in the way he thinks, behaves, and takes action in life.
Though right now, women the world over are struggling to find him.
Why?
Well, before the term Metrosexual became the latest buzzword on cyber-balls alley, there was once a time when men used to be the real deal. These now rare creatures had more style than the hair care section of a fashion magazine and followed a particular code of honor that involved treating each other and all women with respect. But, unfortunately, those days are now a thing of the past.
For the most part.
Of course, there are still men around who have their affairs in order — who have a backbone, the strength of character, and authentic presence; and who embrace their God-given, musky masculinity like the men they are.
They are, well … uncommon.
David French from National Review has his ideas about why men’s masculinity is on the decrease:
“In the age of zero-tolerance school-disciplinary policies — where any kind of physical confrontation is treated like a human-rights violation — boys have less opportunity to develop toughness. Today’s young males don’t have common touchstones for what it’s like to grow up to be a man.”
Interesting.
Another contributing factor to the decrease in masculinity may lie in this era, frequently dubbed the “information age.” As far as I can see, cyber-balls are everywhere, yet scarce when it comes to the real stuff like acknowledging feelings, relationships, showing respect, embracing change, and finding courage at a crucial moment.
Right?
It’s no secret that the internet has seriously impacted the way we interact with each other, and social media has snatched away the need for actual interaction.
The truth is that a whole new breed of men has emerged from cyberspace reality, or rather, un-reality — and many have lost sight of the true essence of their masculinity.
Interpersonal confrontations — people using the internet as a shield, hiding behind IP addresses to fool with the minds of women who may genuinely care about them.
Ghosting, catfishing and breadcrumbing — have we become subhuman?
Meh.
The situation appears dire, but fortunately, there are still men out there in touch with their positive masculinity — who remember how to treat a woman like a lady.
Great news.
These are the kind of men who realize that if they can make a woman feel her femininity, they will have unlocked the key to the one quality she truly needs in a man.
Even better news.
So, what does this spirited, masculine-empowered man look like?
While there is no such thing as the “perfect man” (or woman, for that matter), there are a few common traits that a man who embodies his masculinity will demonstrate.
Things like:
Clarity: He Knows What He Wants
A man who can make a decision is extremely attractive. Not just about the big things, but the small things, too.
He knows where he is taking his woman for dinner or which cozy cabin in the woods he plans on spending a week together away from the world.
This guy makes it his business to know her business, too, because he understands that her desires vitally impact his own and that love is a two-way street. Her wants, needs, and passions are an essential part of his life.
No matter the circumstances, genuine men are just as concerned for women’s feelings, needs, and minds as they are for their own.
A masculine-positive man possesses that zesty spark in his eye when he speaks of his ambitions, dreams, and plans for the future.
He understands the gifts of love.
Guts: He Follows His Path and Ignores Adversity
None of us can escape those “two-cent” people in our lives who always have something to say about what we are doing, who we are, and who we want to become.
Moreover, life has a way of presenting adverse situations and seemingly immovable obstacles along the path toward going for what lights us up on the inside.
That is the secret of our heart’s desire.
One of the most positive masculine traits a man can embrace is ignoring those irrelevant opinions and working on his craft.
A genuine man will follow his dreams no matter how much reality suggests they are impossible to achieve.
Don’t get me wrong. He’s not always perfect at this. He might sway off the right track at times when hitting that all-too consuming “dip,” and that’s normal. But he will pick himself up to eventually keep reaching and striving toward his true calling because he knows that being true to himself is the only way to achieve accurate fulfillment in life — perseverance will ultimately pay off.
A man in touch with his masculinity will set his sights firmly on his goal, keep the bigger picture fresh in his mind’s eye, and believe that anything is possible because it is.
Charisma: Exhibits Powerful Body Language
Smoking hot is the man who exhibits strong body language.
He exudes self-confidence and comprehends the correlation between his body language and how others see him.
His masculine energy demands respect, though he is realistic enough to understand that there will always be obstacles — internal demons to conquer and the like.
He also knows that there is nothing that he can’t rise above and overcome with the right mindset and a lot of heart. Therefore, he stands firm in his presence even when he’s not entirely feeling it.
This beautiful man knows that others will treat him the way he shows them how he wants them to treat him.
In short, a man in touch with his masculine energy has an inviting body language that attracts others and provides them with feelings of comfort and security.
Energy: He Knows to Make His Woman Feel Like a Woman
He will always treat a woman like a lady. No matter what.
As mentioned earlier, the truth is that every woman wants to feel safe and secure next to her man. A constructive man does that for her and more, without feeling threatened by a woman who can hold her own beside him.
For instance, my husband knows that I am more than capable of standing my ground against his fiery, dominant nature. So he tells me that “I am a lippy woman.”
He finds my strong sense of self incredibly sexy.
It means he can handle who I am as a woman.
The point is that a man who is solid in his male energy knows that allowing a woman to express herself in his presence freely is a gift to them both as it creates deeper meaning and balance between the sexes.
It’s like honoring the powerful flow of the yin and yang elements.
Naturally, when a man is conscious of uncovering balanced love with his feminine, he doesn’t just focus on her outward appearance, possessions, or status: he is fully aware that physical beauty fades with time and remains as beautiful to him as she is now.
Therefore, he will intentionally focus his love and attention on her true beauty, discovered within her sensibilities, soul-essence, and personality.
A man in touch with his masculine energy is someone who will engage his woman in meaningful discussions about life and plans for their shared future. He displays an awareness, intelligence, and sensitivity that makes his actions not only timely but also genuinely charming.
Critical conclusion
A masculine-positive man is worldly, honorable, and kind-hearted. Of course, he doesn’t always get it right, but he is someone who wants to make the world a better place and understands the power of his pure masculinity in its humblest expression — open and loving, with a focus on faith-based action.
When this type of man is in love with a woman, he will grant her full access to his energetic masculine presence, receive her divine femininity and hold her in esteem beside him.
Moreover, he knows how to be in the moment with his feminine Goddess — the simple act that ultimately gifts her the critical element she needs from her man — his subtle masculinity.
Then together, they will potentially create a higher degree of love energy in the world, if that makes sense.
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