Why It’s Hard to Take Alone Time as a Mother

Woes of a mother with a sick toddler

Alone time is healthy, I think we can all agree on that. So why is it hard to take alone time as a mother?

I was faced with this question this morning. I have a sick toddler who needs to rest at home. Yet, I’ve been going crazy being sequestered at home all week too.

Although my partner gives me an open invitation to have alone time, it’s hard to take it. Why is it so hard?

I took a step back this morning and thought about what could be going on:

I don’t believe I deserve it

Ouch. That feels brutal but deep down I know that niggling thought is there. My child is sick and I don’t believe I deserve to rest when she is unwell. Mentally I know that’s not true, but it’s hard to fully let it go.

I feel guilty

Double ouch. Mama guilt is a horrible feeling that plagues all mothers. We push and push ourselves to be able to do it all even though we realize we can’t. And then we feel guilty anyway. Unfortunately, I suffer from this ailment too.

Wait a minute… There’s another more practical reason:

Do you know the kind of alone time I really want? The one that my heart is truly craving?

I literally just want to crawl into my bed and rest.

And yet… When my daughter is sick and staying at home, it’s not possible for me to hole myself up in one room for longer than 5 minutes. Even if my partner or someone else is caring for her, she will naturally come looking for me. Or I’ll hear her (supermom ears) and I won’t be able to fully relax anyway.

So if I truly want to be alone, I need to go out into the cold winter and occupy myself with an activity. To be honest, when I’m tired and grumpy, that option just feels like work. Now I’m back at square one.

Dream with me for a moment…

Imagine a beautiful home. It’s a haven, a retreat for mamas. It’s peaceful and modern with beautiful large glass windows overlooking a stunning garden.

Best of all, it’s quiet and calm. There are no screaming children around, no sounds at all other than birds chirping outside.

You get to choose a gorgeous room to just relax. You can binge-watch romantic movies, read a book, take a luxurious bath or even just sleep. Whatever your heart desires.

When you get hungry, delicious and stunning food is delivered to you. It’s the best meal you’ve eaten in a while.

Alas, after some time, you feel rested and rejuvenated. You return home with a calm heart and ready to step back into the role of Motherhood.

Wow. One day if I win the lottery, I hope I can dare to build something so beautiful for all the amazing, hard-working mamas out there.

In the meantime, I’ll settle for day-dreaming and attempting to take the alone time that barely scratches the surface of the deep craving I have to just simply rest.

Back to the grind my friends, it’s time for Round 2.

With love, Megan