Why It Can Be Hard to Say I Love You

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2223

Abstract

nerability. Willingness to be vulnerable takes courage and faith. I believe he won’t suddenly be absent after I express my feelings. I trust he’ll be kind and may even reciprocate the same sentiment. I know he cares about me. But these facts don’t make it any less scary.</p><p id="a81b">Some of us have a history of heartbreak from emotionally unavailable people. When we demonstrate how we feel, they’ve backed away. Some of them never speak to us again. It’s painful and memorable. There are those of us who keep trying to find balance with unbalanced partners. We go to the hardware store expecting to find bread. It’s true, we probably can’t trust emotionally unavailable people to reciprocate or acknowledge us.</p><p id="b0a0">But then came the one who wasn’t like that. What do we do with a person who’s willing to express their feelings and accept ours as valid? Some of us may be timid at first. After all, the last person ignored us. What if they don’t call us again after we bare our soul?</p><p id="b805">I’ve been a little nervous this time around, but it’s been relatively easy to share how I feel. He holds a space for me to be honest, asks the right questions and listens to my answers. And he demonstrates that he cares.</p><p id="8975">Because we’re already friends, I’m comfortable telling him just about anything. But for the same reason, I’m hesitant to take any action that could hurt our friendship. I know expressing my love for him is ok. My feelings can get big quickly, though, and I don’t want to put myself in a position to be hurt.</p><p id="e878">Don’t we all risk being hurt every time we open our hearts? It’s time we start opening up a little more. Many of us hold back for fear of getting hurt. But what’s the worst thing he could say to me? Maybe that his love doesn’t run as deep. That’s it.</p><p id="819e">We don’t have to shy away from saying, “I love you.” Isn’t love what makes the world go around? Love in its purest form is begging for us to express it. Showing our love for another human is the best gift anyone could offer. So I decided I’m willing to be vulnerable if it means I can share my love. And I have plenty to give.</p><p id="9105">I love you.</p><p id="1991">See, th

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at wasn’t so hard, was it?</p><p id="1910"><b>Related reads:</b></p><div id="e121" class="link-block"> <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/7-qualities-that-make-for-a-desirable-partner-and-a-friend-5e3f57b864b8"> <div> <div> <h2>7 Qualities That Make For A Desirable Partner And A Friend</h2> <div><h3>Pay attention to how you feel when someone is attentive and honest with you</h3></div> <div><p>psiloveyou.xyz</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*gyvWpUhCPvw5yNnZ.jpg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="2b50" class="link-block"> <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/how-to-foster-trust-and-intimacy-in-your-relationships-a816bf14faef"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Foster Trust and Intimacy in Your Relationships</h2> <div><h3>Begin with asking the right questions upfront</h3></div> <div><p>psiloveyou.xyz</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*[email protected])"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="3283" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/when-you-love-someone-whos-emotionally-unavailable-330e2561e1a2"> <div> <div> <h2>When You Love Someone Who’s Emotionally Unavailable</h2> <div><h3>And you finally hit bottom</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*5gfLR-QBwuonbrmQLe0sOA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="5b10">Let’s stay in touch. You can find me on <a href="https://m.facebook.com/thegratefulwriter/">Facebook</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/gratefulone11">Twitter</a>, and LinkedIn. Thanks for reading.</p></article></body>

Being vulnerable takes courage and faith

I’ve been feeling a lot of love for a particular person. We lit a match to our friendship, and now it’s blazing with possibilities. I appreciate the warmth of my feelings and the unabashed honesty about them. I express to him how much I care in myriad ways. But I haven’t said, “I love you.”

Strangely, those three words have become loaded with intimate partners. I tell a lot of people I love them, almost daily. I exchange those three little words with friends and family with no effort. They don’t carry the weight as they do with him, now that we’re more than friends. It feels like a momentous occasion to say it. And I’ve written a sort of love story, an ode that mentions how much I love him and why.

I told him I was giving him a present. I wrote something for him that would soon be published. Now I’m feeling extra vulnerable because I put myself out there big time. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve known each other. It doesn’t matter that he probably already knows. I made a public pronouncement of my love for him.

I’ve never felt safe to do that with anyone. And yet, here I am. We’ve been friends long enough for him to understand and support me. I trust he won’t run away. But damn, the waiting is especially challenging emotionally. Others have run from me after I showed my love for them. I’m freaking out a little bit.

I could’ve held back, withdrawing into my shell, not taking a risk. But this time, I decided to go for it. I don’t want it to be hard to tell him I love him. It shouldn’t be hard. So I did it in one of the few ways I can since we’re far apart. I wrote him a public love letter. I still can hardly believe I’m that brave.

With transparency comes vulnerability. Willingness to be vulnerable takes courage and faith. I believe he won’t suddenly be absent after I express my feelings. I trust he’ll be kind and may even reciprocate the same sentiment. I know he cares about me. But these facts don’t make it any less scary.

Some of us have a history of heartbreak from emotionally unavailable people. When we demonstrate how we feel, they’ve backed away. Some of them never speak to us again. It’s painful and memorable. There are those of us who keep trying to find balance with unbalanced partners. We go to the hardware store expecting to find bread. It’s true, we probably can’t trust emotionally unavailable people to reciprocate or acknowledge us.

But then came the one who wasn’t like that. What do we do with a person who’s willing to express their feelings and accept ours as valid? Some of us may be timid at first. After all, the last person ignored us. What if they don’t call us again after we bare our soul?

I’ve been a little nervous this time around, but it’s been relatively easy to share how I feel. He holds a space for me to be honest, asks the right questions and listens to my answers. And he demonstrates that he cares.

Because we’re already friends, I’m comfortable telling him just about anything. But for the same reason, I’m hesitant to take any action that could hurt our friendship. I know expressing my love for him is ok. My feelings can get big quickly, though, and I don’t want to put myself in a position to be hurt.

Don’t we all risk being hurt every time we open our hearts? It’s time we start opening up a little more. Many of us hold back for fear of getting hurt. But what’s the worst thing he could say to me? Maybe that his love doesn’t run as deep. That’s it.

We don’t have to shy away from saying, “I love you.” Isn’t love what makes the world go around? Love in its purest form is begging for us to express it. Showing our love for another human is the best gift anyone could offer. So I decided I’m willing to be vulnerable if it means I can share my love. And I have plenty to give.

I love you.

See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Related reads:

Let’s stay in touch. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Thanks for reading.