Why Is Co-sleeping Even Controversial?

Summary

The article discusses the author's positive experience with co-sleeping, emphasizing its benefits for both the child and parents.

Abstract

The author expresses surprise at the controversy surrounding co-sleeping, noting the intensity of parenting debates. They advocate for respecting the choices of individual families, as they have found co-sleeping strategies that work well for their toddler. The author recounts the early days of their child's life, where co-sleeping was essential for the baby to relax and sleep, providing a sense of security reminiscent of the womb. The intimate bonding experience during co-sleeping is cherished by the author, who also describes the gradual transition to independent sleeping arrangements while keeping the child close. The article concludes by affirming the effectiveness of their approach, despite differing opinions, and the author finds comfort in the sounds of their loved ones sleeping nearby.

Opinions

The author believes that co-sleeping is a personal family decision and should not be judged by outsiders.
Co-sleeping provided a familiar and calming environment for the author's baby, akin to the conditions in the womb.
The author values the intimate moments and bonding that co-sleeping facilitated with their child.
They acknowledge the challenges of putting a baby to sleep and appreciate the strategies that worked for their family.
The author emphasizes that the success of a parenting strategy is the only measurement that matters, not the opinions of others.
The author enjoys the sense of security and comfort that comes from having their child sleep in close proximity, even as the child grows older.

What’s best for the child is also best for parents, too

I have to admit I am a little surprised as co-sleeping seems to be a highly controversial topic on the web and playgrounds. Having some discussions over it, I get it: Parenting is comparable to attracting missionaries the same as nutrition attracts hobby evangelists for veganism, keto-ism, and other -ism’s. It’s one of those topics where everyone and their uncle feels entitled to evangelize his environment with the only wisdom.

As I wrote in another piece, leave the family business to the family. They are the ones trying to put a hyped-up toddler to sleep after a kid’s birthday party where they (again) got explained how important this or that kind of strategy is. They are the ones who are striding like a stork while carrying the baby, so it finally falls asleep after screaming for two hours straight. They are the ones going for a 3-hour stroller walk to get their offspring a good nap. Who are we to judge which strategies they choose just off the fact that they work.

I know how nerve-racking it can be to put a baby to sleep, and I am so glad my girlfriend and I have found strategies that work for our little wayward toddler.

During our parental leave for the first weeks of his little life, we performed the mother of co-sleeping as he refused to take a nap anywhere else than on my (or her) chest. He used to roll himself into embryo position with one ear on my chest so he could hear my heartbeat. I then put a blanket over his back and enjoyed this cuddling time, mostly shutting my own eyes to get some well-needed recreation.

By then, I was so happy we found a position where my baby could relax and finally fell asleep. I didn’t ask. I think I understand now: This little creature spent the first 9 months of his little life inside a human body with the sound of heartbeats constantly surrounding him. How on earth could he be expected to instantly wean himself from the heat of a human body and the familiar and calming sound of a heartbeat.

Also, I really enjoyed this intimate time with my new family member. Seeing and feeling him breathing and sleeping is one of my first and most loved memories of parenthood.

After my parental leave ended and I went back to work, my girlfriend continued this nap strategy for a couple of months, slowly trying to show him he can relax lying beneath her and not on her chest or arm.

By night, our baby slept in his baby bay, wrenched to our bed frame. A baby boy is a little extension to your bed, safely fenced with bars but also separated from the parent’s sleeping space. It comes with an extra firm mattress so the baby can sleep safely.

When he was too big for his bay, I took it off and screwed a baby crib to our bed frame. It is also guarded by bars, but I took three of them out so his mom could easily pull him out at night when he needed a breast-feeding.

By now, he is almost two years old and still sleeps in our room, not in our bed, but his baby crib in arm’s reach. Still, when putting him to bed for a nap or a night’s sleep, we spend the roundabout 30 minutes until he’s asleep with him in bed and then get up.

Many parents may want to explain why this is bad, but it works for us, which is the only measurement. Additionally, when I go to bed, I really enjoy hearing my little boy and my girlfriend breathing. Nothing in the world is more soothing to me than hearing my loved ones sleeping well; rest assured they are both safe and sound.

What do you think?

Why Is Co-Sleeping Even Controversial?

What’s best for the child is also best for parents, too