Why I Started Learning German In India Without Any Plans To Visit Germany

It’s remarkable how we make decisions

I was in my 20s. I had a good enough job. I had a good friend’s circle and I was married.

I wasn’t really struggling to pay off a debt or find a job. Life was smooth (okay maybe not perfect).

But I started feeling an emptiness in my heart. As if I am missing something in life. I didn’t know what. But I figured I was lacking enough spark for emotional intelligence (??).

I had no one to talk about say, Leonardo da Vinci, the Impressionism, the Renaissance period, or the Great Wall of China. You get the point.

I was tired of small talk. I didn’t have people in my circle with whom I could talk on “other” subjects that were deep and meaningful to me.

As a child, I have always wanted to learn a foreign language. But somehow it never happened. I learned English, my mother tongue Bengali, and some other Indian languages.

So I thought I would perhaps learn a language. I had so much interest in travel and other cultures, possibly learning a language would give me that joy and fill up that void in my heart.

Now, honestly speaking, I wasn’t thinking of learning German really.

French was my first choice.

Why?

Because I grew up reading so much about French art and the artists, I have read translated works of Baudelaire. I have read stories of Cezanne and Emil Jola. I have read about Normandy and the chateaus in the Loire Valley. And I have read about the glitzy French Riviera.

How can it be not French? So French was it.

The French class

There was a language school near my home and they had a very nominal fee. They had some evening sessions as well.

So I signed up for a 6-month class.

I was super excited on the first day of my class. My dream was going to come true. But I was also quite overwhelmed by the sheer size of the class. The class had more than 60 students I believe (could be more, I don’t remember).

I didn’t connect with the teacher and found her to be very rude. She didn’t seem to be so interested in teaching. Going to the class became torture. The number of students started declining.

Unfortunately, my excitement evaporated soon enough too.

Every time we asked the teacher a question, she would be annoyed and would say something like — I already explained that on that day, go check your note, and don’t disturb the class.

We were all afraid to ask her anything. There was no joy. And after a long day in the office, I just couldn’t justify myself to that torture anymore. But I still continued until the last day, which was the exam day — when only 5 of us turned up. The rest have decided to quit.

And my exam result was quite bad because I never got my answers from the teacher, I was too scared to ask her only to be rebuked.

I decided enough is enough, I cannot move on with this. I hated the teacher, I hated the environment. I didn’t sign up for the next session.

Now I thought if I paid more money and joined Alliance Francaise, perhaps my experience would be different.

The staircase to nowhere

But the problem was — there was a big fire in Calcutta and the Alliance Francaise office had burnt down.

They had a makeshift office somewhere. I decided to give it a visit.

I managed to locate their makeshift office, in a not-so-good part of the city, in a very old building. There was just a small desk and a chair under the staircase and a lady sitting on the chair. I realized that was the reception.

The lady couldn’t provide me with all the class schedules, so she asked me to go upstairs and meet the counselors.

I started climbing the rickety staircase.

I didn’t even reach the top stair when I paused. I asked myself what was I doing here. I can’t rationally pinpoint something specific but I knew something was not clicking.

I couldn’t imagine myself coming to this dilapidated building for my language class. I had envisioned those period buildings I saw in the European movies, with tons of character, white gracious marble flooring, and big chandeliers looming from the ceiling.

And this was not it.

And isn’t learning a language also about the experience? Especially when I wasn’t doing it for a job or studies. I was trying to search for the meaning of my life and this was not where I expected to find it.

I decided to turn back.

This is where I belong

I came back home disappointed but I didn’t give up.

I thought if it was not French, there must be something else I could learn. However, I was limited to a physical location in proximity to my house and work.

I found out that I had the option of learning German or Russian — both languages I had no clue about and had no desire to learn.

Before calling it off, I thought I would visit the German center by Goethe Institut once and I thank God that I did.

I walked in through a big gate to a beautiful landing with a huge chandelier hanging right in the middle. The opulent space and the white marble floor lead the way to a grand staircase to a tastefully decorated hallway.

Just the sheer beauty of this building took my breath away.

This is the kind of space I have always envisioned when I thought of Europe and its art and history. This is the space where I wanted to belong.

I signed up for a two-month-long course thinking that I wouldn’t lose a lot of money in case I didn’t like the language.

Those two months turned into many years and today I feel grateful that I did pursue my dream. At that point in time, I had no idea that I would be living in Germany soon and that my knowledge of German would be a lifesaver.

Thank you for reading my story.