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Abstract

choose when you want to have sex at any time.</p><p id="2518">It’s your body. You have to decide when to share it, and you shouldn’t be ashamed to express your unwillingness to have sex.</p><h1 id="5c90">Know the difference between a bad date and sexual assault</h1><p id="123a">Some guys assume they must receive sex at the end of any date. They push their expectations of the woman, not caring if she’s prepared to fulfill his needs.</p><p id="adc1">On the other hand, women have an internalized opinion that all guys want is sex, so we feel obligated to give sex after a make-out session.</p><p id="73f3">And when we don’t fulfill a guy’s expectation to have sex after romancing and kissing, some guys get aggressive and force themselves on the women.</p><p id="1b4a">Sex should only happen when you are ready and willing, but sometimes, communicating this might be difficult.</p><p id="c3a9">The best way to avoid a sexual assault on a consensual date is to let him know straight up what you feel like doing before going on a date.</p><p id="07f9">If I’m going out with a guy for the first time, I let him know my presence is all he gets. <i>I’m not going to have sex with you, so don’t expect to get anything extra. But if anything sexual happens, that’s a bonus, not an obligation.</i></p><p id="7747">It’s important you let the guy know where your boundaries are and the consequences of attempting to cross them.</p><p id="3df9">If he tries to use the tricky line <i>“If you love me, you’ll have sex with me,”</i> it’s time to re-evaluate why you want to be with such a person.</p><p id="a71e">Trying to manipulate you into having sex isn’t cool and it’s a clear sign he cares way more about himself than you.</p><p id="9b6f">You deserve better. If you have to respond, let him know that he would respect your feelings and boundaries if he loved you.</p><p id="9bbf">Sex is not an obligation, and if you’re too tired or just don’t feel like it, it’s better to wait another day.</p><p id="ada5">Couples in a healthy relationship should respect each other’s decisions.</p><p id="5fa1">If someone is in the relationship just for the sex, honestly, you’re better off alone.</p><p id="5e9e">All good things take time

Options

, and so does sex. If you notice you are uncomfortable with having sex at the pace the guy is going, then it’s okay to say no!</p><p id="7ba6"><i>Thank you for reading. If you would like to read more stories like this, <a href="https://jesblake85.medium.com/membership">subscribe</a> for unlimited access on Medium.</i></p><div id="b855" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-make-a-man-cum-just-by-listening-to-your-voice-b1c85f97e04d"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Make a Man Cum Just By Listening to Your Voice</h2> <div><h3>Dirty talk secrets to boost orgasm.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*WgGmvsD4I-gSlwhmkORoxw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="8c54" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-keep-a-man-interested-without-losing-your-pride-a8caf3cad707"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Keep a Man Interested Without Losing Your Pride</h2> <div><h3>#3 will make him want you more.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*_KnwvNcZjesVoAHU6F3VYg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="f989" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/9-things-women-want-sexually-to-make-them-healthy-and-happy-207b13fcb46e"> <div> <div> <h2>9 Things Women Get Sexually That Make Them Healthy And Happy</h2> <div><h3>My orgasmic self wants sex.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*SeniNI1mlxv3MiWY5UXljQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Why I Started Entertaining One-Way Street Sex

I learned to listen when my vagina says no and pull out.

Sometimes a woman’s body responds to sexual attraction differently. We can make out with a guy without penetrative sex as the end goal.

One time, I had this guy come over. Around one in the morning, we’re cuddling and kissing. Everything was happening so intensely.

He was giving me fetish vibes, and I broke it off right at the heat of the moment. I told him I didn’t want to have sex.

He was like, “oh, that’s cool! I don’t want you doing anything you are not comfortable with. I just want you to be present at the moment, with me.”

That made me realize I was taking control of my body. That I don’t have to have sex if I don’t want to.

If my vagina is resisting sexual temptation, then I should listen instead of forcing things I may end up regretting.

Now I only date partners who respect my boundaries when I tell them I don’t fuck, and I don’t suck, but I will do oral.

Sure, not all of them were okay with my decision, but setting these boundaries kicks the players out the door. Leaving the serious ones no choice but to stay with good intentions.

I know celebrating one-way street sex is not good. But I have heard how most men got oral sex and gave back nothing in return.

So seeing the script flip to the other side, it’s interesting. We need to normalize diverse social sexual rules so people can be aware that they have options.

Whether or not you have ever had sex, you have the right to choose when you want to have sex at any time.

It’s your body. You have to decide when to share it, and you shouldn’t be ashamed to express your unwillingness to have sex.

Know the difference between a bad date and sexual assault

Some guys assume they must receive sex at the end of any date. They push their expectations of the woman, not caring if she’s prepared to fulfill his needs.

On the other hand, women have an internalized opinion that all guys want is sex, so we feel obligated to give sex after a make-out session.

And when we don’t fulfill a guy’s expectation to have sex after romancing and kissing, some guys get aggressive and force themselves on the women.

Sex should only happen when you are ready and willing, but sometimes, communicating this might be difficult.

The best way to avoid a sexual assault on a consensual date is to let him know straight up what you feel like doing before going on a date.

If I’m going out with a guy for the first time, I let him know my presence is all he gets. I’m not going to have sex with you, so don’t expect to get anything extra. But if anything sexual happens, that’s a bonus, not an obligation.

It’s important you let the guy know where your boundaries are and the consequences of attempting to cross them.

If he tries to use the tricky line “If you love me, you’ll have sex with me,” it’s time to re-evaluate why you want to be with such a person.

Trying to manipulate you into having sex isn’t cool and it’s a clear sign he cares way more about himself than you.

You deserve better. If you have to respond, let him know that he would respect your feelings and boundaries if he loved you.

Sex is not an obligation, and if you’re too tired or just don’t feel like it, it’s better to wait another day.

Couples in a healthy relationship should respect each other’s decisions.

If someone is in the relationship just for the sex, honestly, you’re better off alone.

All good things take time, and so does sex. If you notice you are uncomfortable with having sex at the pace the guy is going, then it’s okay to say no!

Thank you for reading. If you would like to read more stories like this, subscribe for unlimited access on Medium.