Summary

The author expresses a desire for the character Samantha Jones to be included in the "And Just Like That" series to represent the experiences of sexually liberated, single middle-aged women.

Abstract

The article reflects on the absence of Samantha Jones in the "And Just Like That" series, emphasizing the importance of representing a confident, sexually liberated middle-aged woman who embodies non-monogamy and self-sufficiency. The author argues that Samantha's character would bring depth to the narrative by showcasing the full lives of women at midlife who remain single and sexually active, challenging societal norms that often overlook such experiences. The piece also touches on the evolving nature of women's sexuality with age, suggesting that Samantha would continue to enjoy her independence and sexual agency, possibly even dating younger men, despite societal pressures and the decreasing pool of available partners.

Opinions

The author believes that Samantha Jones' presence in "And Just Like That" would provide a more diverse portrayal of women at midlife, highlighting the importance of representing women who are happily single and sexually free.
There is a perceived opportunity missed by the series to explore the sexual lives of older people, which is rarely depicted in media.
The author suggests that women at midlife often have more positive sexual experiences and agency due to reduced peer pressure and societal shame, allowing them to be more assertive in their dating and sexuality.
The article posits that Samantha would likely maintain her non-monogamous lifestyle and independence, reflecting the reality of many older women who prioritize their emotional well-being and autonomy over traditional romantic relationships.
The author expresses hope that television will eventually feature more confident and sexual older women like Samantha, acknowledging that such women exist and deserve representation.

Why I Really Wish Samantha Jones Was In ‘And Just Like That’

The dedicated non-monogamist would likely continue being happily single and sexually free at midlife

We’re a few episodes into And Just Like That …, the much-anticipated follow-up series to Sex and the City, and I’m really missing Samantha Jones, the confident, unapologetically promiscuous non-monogamist who wanted to “have sex like a man” played by Kim Cattrall.

While it’s interesting to watch Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) and Charlotte (Kristin Davis), navigate life as 50-somethings, proving that women at midlife have full and interesting lives, the three have followed the romantic script to the celebrated end — marriage or babies (Carrie is the only one who is child-free) or both. Only Samantha stayed true to her dedicated bachelorette self at the end of the series and the two movies that followed, 2008’s Sex and the City and 2010’s Sex and the City 2.

While it’s true that Carrie’s husband, Big, gets killed off immediately — making her one of the 8.9 million widows in the United States who, the series teases, may be back in the dating game sooner than later— and Miranda appears to be close to exploring a same-sex attraction, their midlife years are confined by marriage. And, as Rolling Stone observes, not a lot of sex for a show that was known for it— a missed opportunity:

“the producers of And Just Like That also have a unique opportunity to shatter an entirely new set of boundaries by depicting an experience that’s rarely shown in most media: what it’s actually like for couples in their fifties and sixties to fuck. Though the mechanics of the act are, presumably, the same for older people as for young hots, the sex lives of AARP-eligible people are practically ignored in popular culture, seemingly because such content is not considered marketable by the old men who typically run networks and film studios.”

What I really want to see is stories about women at midlife who have never been married and have no intention of marrying, and have no children. Especially sexually liberated middle-aged women.

Are their lives not interesting?

Samantha was celebrated for being confident, strong and outspoken, and a self-proclaimed “try-sexual” (meaning she’ll try anything once).” Of the four friends, she’s the only one who clearly doesn’t need a man to make her feel good about herself (although she does flirt with monogamy with hotel magnate Richard Wright, who ends up cheating on her.

Even when she gets close to Jerry “Smith” Jerrod, her boy toy turned boyfriend-confidante, as he helps her through breast cancer, she is frank with him:

“Yes, I love you — ah, f**k it — I’m just gonna say the thing you’re not supposed to say: I love you, but I love me more. And I’ve been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that’s the one I need to work on.”

Would Samantha feel the same today, in her late 60s?

Since Cattrall bowed out from the show, we’ll never know. But if we can glean anything from women’s sexuality as we age, I feel pretty confident that Samantha would continue to enjoy her non-monogamous single life.

Recent studies indicate that many women have more positive sexual experiences and agency at midlife. Since they’re less likely to face the same kind of peer pressure and shame and guilt associated with sex as women face when they’re young, they’re much more likely to be less constrained when it comes to dating and sexuality, and so are often much more assertive. And, since many of us tend to get more self-reflective as we age, women tend to be better poised to understand their sexual desires and what most pleases them.

That said, Samantha would most likely face what a lot of heterosexual women face at midlife and older — fewer men to date and have sex with. Would she still skew younger? There’s no reason to think that she wouldn’t. In fact, there are lots of benefits to dating younger men.

And while Samantha doesn’t have children, she might have caregiving responsibilities that many women at midlife face — she apparently has two siblings, and a mother whom she describes in the first SATC movie as being “saddled with three kids and a drunk husband” when she was her age, 50 at the time, who might need caregiving.

Still, I have faith that Samantha would find herself in good company with the many older women who might want a romantic partner, but are less willing to enter a long-term cohabiting romantic relationship because they are just not interested in giving up their independence.

In an analysis of Samantha, The Take observes:

“Even if we don’t aspire to have her particular life, we could all stand to be a little bit more like Samantha Jones. She sets an example to prioritize our emotional well-being in relationships and reject the assumption that we need to copy others’ life choices or conform to what society considers ‘normal’ behavior. To be ‘a Samantha’ is not to be sex-crazed, promiscuous, or even necessarily single — it’s to be self-assured, emotionally evolving, and true to yourself.”

Samantha may not be represented in And Just Like That …, but I’m hopeful we’ll see happily single, confident and sexual older women just like her on the screen one day. Because we exist.

Hey, I’ve written on a book on changing the narrative about middle-aged and older women, “Not Too Old For That: How Women Are Changing the Story of Aging” (April 2022). Pre-order it here and follow me on Medium, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. If you want to support my work and have unlimited access to my writing and the writing of all Medium writers, please become a member here. And if you’re interested in individualizing your marriage, please check out the book I co-authored, The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels. You can support your local indie bookstore (please do) or order it on Amazon. We’re also on Audible.

For more of the good stuff, follow Fourth Wave, where we’re changing the world for the better, one story at a time. Got one of your own? Submit to the Wave.