Why I Isolated Myself Socially for 3.5 Years — and What Came Out of it
The enormously transformative power of being alone.
At the end of 2011, I embarked on a mental voyage: I wanted to find out what I am.
Follow along as I share my experiences and insights before and during my time of social isolation and list the positive impact it had on me. Perhaps there are parts that resonate with you.
At the end of the text, I suggest useful exercises that can help you in your own growth.
I had a “good” life. I worked as a mathematician and had turned my scientific research into a business. Books, lectures, seminars, and consulting brought me recognition and a good income. But after over twenty years, everything had become routine. No matter where I was on this planet, I felt like I was constantly talking to the same people about the same topics. I was bored.
“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” (Pablo Picasso)
Building a career in science and a business was challenging and fun, and I had learned a lot. But I had reached a point where I was no longer growing. Although I longed for a change, I didn’t have the courage to end my career. Guess what: A year later, circumstances forced me to dissolve my business and quit teaching at the university.
Having always been interested in people and human behavior, over the years, I took courses on topics ranging from nutrition to psychology to Ayurveda. So I shifted my focus and started a new business as a mindset coach. But after only two years, I was bored again.
All clients had more or less the same problems around the four big topics of health, love, money, and career. I realized that people follow universal patterns of behavior.
Inspiration
Just at that time, I heard a woman talk about her experience with exploring the question: ‘What am I?’ She had given up her old life and gone to New Zealand, where she spent seven months in silence. I was electrified — and inspired. From that day on, I wanted to find out what I am.
For me, ‘Who am I?’ is about finding out what kind of human I am among all humans. ‘What am I?’ is about finding out what it means to be a human; what the full potential of a human is.
Consider a cheetah. A cheetah born in the wild develops its potential as a hunter, thus becoming the fastest mammal on this planet. It must develop its full potential to survive. A cheetah born in captivity learns that food comes from a keeper. It doesn’t have to run fast and make prey. And because it doesn’t have to run fast, it doesn’t develop that potential. It could not survive in the wild.
We humans are born in mental captivity. When we grow up, our parents and other people around us are our role models for what it means to be a human; how to live as a human. If they were climbing trees, we would be climbing trees too. We copy their behavior and add and subtract some behaviors throughout our lives. Our parents had learned/copied from their parents and peers. And so on. This goes back thousands of generations. We are controlled by countless behavioral programs, some of which were created tens of thousands of years ago. These programs are our mental prison. That is why we live only a small part of our potential — just as a cheetah born in a zoo lives only a small part of the cheetah’s potential. By exploring the question ‘What am I?’ I have questioned not only myself but also humankind.
“If I only knew who in fact I am, I should cease to behave as what I think I am; and if I stopped behaving as what I think I am, I should know who I am.” (Aldous Huxley in „Island”)
To find out what I am, I must stop behaving as what I think I am. For this, I must become a master of my behavior. For this, I must know the origins of each of my behaviors so that I can eliminate behaviors that come from programs. The formula is: If I eliminate what I am not, what remains is what I am.
I decided to reverse-engineer myself: I observe myself and construct a “device” in my mind that behaves exactly like me — down to the smallest detail, including my thinking. In this way, I will learn to understand why I behave and think the way I do, and that is the basis of mastering my programs and thus myself.
Exploration
I tried to do this amidst the demands of my business and relationships. But after three years, my body told me I needed to shift into a higher gear: My right jaw started hurting. My dentist said the teeth were fine, that the cause of the pain was probably the jaw joint. So I went to an osteopath — and she recommended four treatments. After the first treatment, the pain was gone. In the three weeks between the first and the last appointment, I had no pain. Immediately after the last treatment, the pain returned. The only reasonable explanation was that “something” spoke to me and said: “I don’t want you to suppress the pain. I want to talk to you. Pain is my language.”
From then on, I observed my behavior against the backdrop of my jaw pain. Every time I behaved in a certain way, the pain got worse. When I stopped this behavior, the pain disappeared.
Shortly thereafter, I had an accident while hiking. My right front foot got stuck on the forest floor. I fell and broke my big toe. What was this accident trying to tell me? I had gotten my foot stuck. Where was I stuck in life? I was stuck in my research. I hadn’t made any progress in months, and most of my findings were just theory.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” (Jim Rohn)
All people follow universal behavioral programs that are the mental heritage of thousands of generations. These programs are permanently reinforced through social interaction. Therefore, it was impossible for me to free myself from these universal programs as long as I interacted with other people. In order to move forward in my research, to free myself from my programs, and to find out what the full human potential is, I had to isolate myself socially.
This was in September 2014. In the months that followed, I ended my professional activities and my relationship, said goodbye to family and friends, gave away my household goods, and sold my apartment. I moved to a place near the Austrian mountains. I refrained from media consumption and had contact with other people only when necessary, such as when shopping or eating in a restaurant. I concentrated entirely on exploring the question ‘What am I?’. The most exciting time of my life had begun.
“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” (Albert Einstein)
My jaw and toe had taught me that my body was a voice of guidance. I also had the email address of the woman who had inspired me, in case I got stuck and needed help from someone with experience. In the months and years that followed, many inflammations developed in my body. Each one corresponded to one of my programs. By finding, analyzing, and learning to master these programs, the inflammations healed.
Reverse-engineering myself led to a Theory of Mind, and further to a Theory of Everything. Once I had this theory, I longed for an opportunity to present it to someone who was curious and would challenge me with questions. So I flew to the US to attend a neuroscience conference, where I found such a person. This was 3.5 years after I had left family and friends and ended my time in social isolation for the time being.
Evaluation
A lot has come out of these years in social isolation.
I found out what was true in my life. By giving up everything (family, partner, friends, career, hobbies, etc), I made a fresh start. I knew that everything that was true would come back — and it did. I enjoy what came back more than ever, and I don’t miss what didn’t come back. My life has become simpler, easier, and much more fulfilling than ever before.
I have learned to master many of my programs. Cleansing and healing my mind from being controlled by programs also led to cleansing and healing my body. I became stronger, fitter, healthier, and food intolerances and allergies disappeared.
I have developed a Theory of Mind (ToM) and a Theory of Everything (ToE) and documented them in my book “Consciousness : Its Nature, Purpose, and How to Use It.” The major steps of the underlying thought process are summarized in my article “A Logical Solution to the Hard Problem of Consciousness.” I could not have developed these theories without the years in social isolation. On the one hand, it gave me the space to concentrate on this project. On the other hand, freeing myself from many of my programs enhanced my mental abilities significantly. Although I have always been good at finding patterns, I can now find much larger and more complex patterns than ever before. In other words, I have become a much better scientist.
I have learned that every physical condition has a mental cause, ie, expresses an order principle that urges me to free myself from my programs, develop my full potential, and fulfill my purpose as part of the whole. I refer to this order as the ‘cosmos’ because the Greek word kosmos means “order.” I have become a humble student of the cosmos as I have learned — and continue to learn — to recognize and understand the cosmic guidance in body states (including diseases, injuries, and pain), states of mind, and life circumstances.
In my experience, aloneness has tremendous transformative power, which I continue to use extensively to support my continued growth — because we are never done growing! (This is another insight from my years in social isolation: a human’s purpose is limitless growth.)
“Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.” (Albert Einstein)
Application
If you want to find your truth, you don’t have to isolate yourself for years like I did. At first, I wanted to achieve more than free myself from my programs: I wanted to see and understand the big picture. Second, you can build on my insights and experiences, which makes it easier. I had started this while continuing my normal life — until my body told me to shift into a higher gear. Get started — and let your body guide you.
Here are a few exercises to help you get started. You can find more exercises in my book “Being Free : Get Out of the Box — The Method with 99 Exercises.”
Exercise 1: How much of your life is routine? Your professional life? Your private life? Are there times when you are bored? If yes, how do you deal with it? If no, are you sure? Analyze your life. Do you keep yourself busy with hobbies, sports, media, meeting people, etc? What would happen if you stopped doing so?
Exercise 2: Make a list of the five people you spend most time with. Analyze their behavioral patterns. What programs do they follow? What behaviors/programs are common to you and them?
Exercise 3: What is it like for you to be alone? How long can you be alone? What do you do to escape being alone?
I didn’t jump into open-end social isolation right away. The first year, while I was exploring this question and continuing career and relationships at the same time, I was alone for four weeks at a time. The second year, I isolated myself for five weeks. The third year, it was six weeks.
Exercise 4: Consider periods of social isolation: a few days, a week, or several weeks. If possible, spend this time not in your home. (A familiar environment reinforces existing programs.) Do not consume media. Do not communicate with other people except when necessary, such as shopping and eating. Spend time in nature (without other people, ie not in places or on paths where other people are). The human-less nature helps you to free yourself from your programs: it floods you with truthfulness. Use the remaining time for introspection and document your findings in a journal. Analyze your findings. Look for patterns.
Further (supplementary) reading:
Article “A Logical Solution to the Hard Problem of Consciousness”
Book “Consciousness : Its Nature, Purpose, and How to Use It”
Book “Being Free : Get Out of the Box — The Method with 99 Exercises”
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