Why Every Woman Should Strap-On

To explore power dynamics…

As a bisexual woman, I never knew what it must be like to satisfy a woman as though I were a man until I tried a strap-on. Only after trying a strap-on did I realize what hard work it is to fuck a woman right. Not only that but playing around with the position of dominance is thrilling even for the most submissive of switches like myself. The strap-on, however, in my experience, is not like a vibrator or a dildo. Oh no, it takes much more practice and know-how. In fact, you may need to try a few out or really do your research when looking into purchasing a strap-on, as there are many variations.

I ended up feeling more comfortable with a hallow, silicon, strap-on with a thick, adjustable elastic harness. But I only felt comfortable purchasing my own strap-on once another woman invited me to try hers with her. The experience of being a receiver of a strap-on is different from being the one wearing the strap-on.

None of this exploration has anything to do with penis envy, and in fact, that is some next-level mythology. So is using derogatory or stereotypical and homophobic statements about men who like being pegged.

It’s time to take the shame out of reversing our roles in the bedroom to build understanding and depth in our sexual, relationships. It’s time we stop being dictated by norms.

What It’s Like to Be Penetrated By Another Woman

As a woman being penetrated by another woman wearing a strap-on it’s a beautiful experience whereby I am intimate with a woman and yet engaging in a way I would normally with a man. She enjoys seeing me satisfied and sharing her toy and her power with me.

When I have been on the receiving end of the strap-on my experience has been in missionary. She not only placed the strap-on between us as she gave me tender thrusts, but she also placed a vibrator between the two of us and brought us both to climax.

While it was enjoyable I am not a fan of manmade traps and concoctions when I am with another woman. I would much rather use our hands, mouths, knees, and arms. There are a lot of ways women can get creative when playing with one another. The truth is that the real power resides in playing with power dynamics.

In fact, Freud’s “penis envy” theory where girls envied their father’s penis and went on to have their own sons was debunked long ago:

The strict interpretation of Freud’s penis envy theory has been debunked. “It’s in some ways really dated,” said Sarah Wells, a clinical social worker in private practice.

The only concept that remains is the metaphorical interpretation of this outdated “theory” that women do indeed derive pleasure from playing with power and dominance in the bedroom:

“There’s a symbolic aspect to it, and I think it’s absolutely very real,” said Vanessa H. Lopez, a psychoanalyst in private practice in New York. […] many people have discussed nonliteral interpretations of the concept. The gist of these is that women may envy the features that make a man a man because they associate these with power and status.

If this is the crux of “penis envy” then surely exploring power relations in any relationship has its benefits. I remember what I finally stepped out of my comfort zone to penetrate another woman.

What It’s Like to Penetrate Another Woman

When it comes to penetrating another woman, it is a dance of dominance and submission. It’s important to use an ample amount of lube and it should be water-based so as not to ruin the silicon strap-on. You must also purchase a disinfectant spray to care for your toy.

When exploring with another woman take it slowly. Every woman is different, so communicate openly about the position that she feels most comfortable in exploring. I have found most women to want to embrace a submissive, passive role. I have used the strap-on most by entering from a woman’s lovely behind or hovering over her in missionary.

It is very rare to see a woman riding another woman with a strap-on in the swinging community. I am not saying I haven’t tried it but I think many women embrace being submissive.

The one thing I learned is how much work it takes to satisfy a woman with a strap-on. All of the leg and glute work can’t be undermined. You also need a lot of upper body strength for some positions. It is no wonder that men who are in better shape are generally better in bed.

Wrap Up

There’s no relationship that can’t benefit from the reversal of power dynamics in the bedroom. Even if you’re a vanilla couple, don’t hesitate to explore with some chocolate. What I am getting at here is even if you’re not a woman, or you’re not bisexual and going to explore with a strap-on, the act of playing with roles, positions, and relationships of power is an adventure that anyone can play. I may have enjoyed exploring power dynamics with women by using a strap-on, but more importantly, this led me to hold more appreciation, gratitude, and respect for my male partner.

Follow Amber Embers Confessions of Tales of being a Swinger, a Cougar, a HotWife, a Bi Goddess, an Exhibitionist, and a Submissive. [email protected]