Why Do You Keep Breaking Your Own Heart?
Reflections on the patterns of pain
Why do you do this to yourself? Isn’t this torture? Aren’t you tired?
You’re an adult now, and you can’t seem to let go of that same old love, the one who wasn’t ready for you in the first place, afraid of commitment, afraid of being with a strong and beautiful woman like you.
Why are you still holding on, and what are you trying to prove?
This guy had so many chances, infinite opportunities to make you his and lost that shot a long time ago.
Let me take a wild guess, you’re actually going to wait for him, see if he comes around if no one else does?
Do you really think that by the time he decides to grow up, grow a pair, that it’s going to be flying fireworks, happily ever after?
What are you going to do if that’s not the case at all?
What if he says he’s all “grown up”, swallows you, and spits you right back out like he did several years ago?
I mean, how much more can you take?!
How many more lies or mind games do you have to endure in order to keep him? He should be worried about losing you if anything!
Plenty of genuine men are eagerly waiting for the chance to treat you like the queen you are, demonstrating the true essence of manhood. This future man is prepared to prioritize you above all else, pursuing you with dedication, determined to make you his one and only.
I know there’s love between you and this man; it was real once upon a time, but don’t be so naive.
He should pursue and chase you like wild animals, driven by instinct, unwavering focus, and without hesitation.
This guy is clueless and blind. He’s probably the type that enjoys being chased by women, but with his luck, he gets the same type, and it never lasts. That’s when he calls you.
Slides in the DM.
You know well that if someone enters your life and sweeps you off your feet, where you feel head over heels, that’s when he’ll come around, begging to take him back, giving him yet another shot.
By that point, you will probably have lost count of how many chances you’ve given him.
I swear it’s like you have a damn radar, beeping when you’re happy, when you’ve moved on, alerting him, and that’s when he comes running back, when it’s too late.
He’s a good person, a great one in fact, but your heart is even greater, bigger, and worth all the love in the world. It deserves to be cared for by a true, gentle love. An adult, not a child.
I don’t know why he asks you to come back if he was the one who ruined the love you two had. He knows it’s wrong, and I get it, it feels good, but it has to end at some point.
He might get away with doing that to anyone, but baby girl, you’re not just anyone.
Why do you keep breaking your own heart?
This was once again inspired by Liberty Forrest, Author’s Newsletter-ish topic: “The Importance of Going Inward to Pause and Reflect.” I did a lot of that in my twenties when it came to falling in love and finding who I thought was my person, but wasn’t, and I wrote this letter to myself as a reflection on the journey of self-discovery.
Shout out to Qaiser Khan for reflecting inward on happiness, well-being, and lessons learned:
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