Why Do Twin Flames Separate?

Twin Flame Polarity and Healing In Separation

Is Separation TRULY an illusion?

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say “Separation is an illusion.” (Cue the Doctor Strange Theme Music). If I had a dollar for each time, I’d be balling, okay? Stacks piling to the ceiling.

And every time I’d think: What do you mean it’s an illusion? It’s happening RIGHT NOW.

I imagined them sitting in a meditation seat, thumb to pointer finger, hovering on a cloud, perfectly at ease, spouting nonsense from on high, because from where I was sitting — here on earth — separation was my reality.

I don’t want to get bogged down in cosmology and talk about how everything is One. We know that intellectually. We may even feel it sometimes if we’re very fortunate.

But that doesn’t invalidate this other experience, which is also true. It’s not enough to know we’re connected when we feel disconnected. And denying that feeling doesn’t get us any closer to peace.

So, instead of trying to trick our brains into believing we’re in Union when we’re experiencing separation, let’s just acknowledge the elephant in the room, so we can deal with it.

Separation is real, at least in our human experience. And it sucks. It sucks hard. There, I said it.

So Why Do It, Then?

So, why do it at all, then? Why does it seem like most, if not all, Twin Flame journeys require some period of separation when it hurts so badly?

I’m sure you’ve heard the rhetoric about this as well. I know I have. “Separation brings healing. You have to separate to heal on your own.”

But like…why? Why can’t we heal together? Isn’t that the whole point of this dog and pony show anyway? Coming together? What’s the deal?

Why the unnecessary pain? Does God hate me?! Is it karma?! Who did I kill in a past life?!

Seriously, it’s natural to wonder why things look this way if we’re, purportedly, coming into union with our Twin Flame. It’s natural to get frustrated with the distance and the longing. It’s natural to get weary of the heaviness in your chest, the obsession of your mind, the inescapable pull to this person that you cannot, for the life of you, tamp down.

If I hadn’t come to understand the dynamics of this connection, I would think it was just cruel and unusual punishment. But I’ve learned, through my personal journey, that there are reasons for this phenomenon. There is a logic to it. It’s not just senseless pain.

The Energetics of Twin Flames

I’ve discussed the different types of Twin Flames if you’re curious about soul theory, and if you want to more deeply explore the potential why of these dynamics. Here, I just want to focus on the basic energetic paradigm that sets Twin Flame connections apart from other highly spiritual soul connections.

A disclaimer here that Twin Flames are no better or worse. There is no hierarchy to connection. But I’m specifying because the behavior that Twin Flames demonstrate — running and chasing, periods of separation — is a direct result of their unique energetics.

Twins are said to be either one soul that has been split into two physical bodies (like a DNA strand being split down the middle) or two souls that are exact mirrors of one another energetically (like a cell that divides and replicates its DNA, creating two daughter cells).

Either way, they’re one entity. They either come together to form a whole energetically or are mirrored aspects of an original whole. (Again, for more detail read here.)

But, simultaneously, they are two — two bodies or two souls, doesn’t matter. They simultaneously exist as one and as two.

Does this sound familiar at all? It should. I’m talking about the fundamental building blocks of our reality here. Duality.

Duality

The quantum principle of complementarity holds that objects have certain pairs of complementary properties which cannot all be observed or measured simultaneously. Example: Wave-particle duality. The electron behaves as a wave or a particle when observed, but not as both.

Yet, the electron exists in superposition, in two places at once, as both a wave and a particle. And we only have the full information about the electron when we consider both phenomena — when we acknowledge its totality.

A more esoteric perspective of this is the principle of Yinyang, dating from the 3rd century BCE. According to Chinese philosophy, all things exist as inseparable and contradictory opposites: dark-light, wet-dry, feminine-masculine.

These aspects both oppose and complement each other. We wouldn’t know one without the other. We don’t know wetness without dryness. We don’t know light without darkness. They exist only in relation to one another. So, the dual aspects exist as a whole.

That is the energy of Twin Flames. This is why the connection feels so ancient and ingrained. It is the physical embodiment of the most primal theory of our known universe.

But why does duality demand separation? For that part, we need to talk about polarity.

Twin Flame Polarity

Something you might have noticed if you’re on a Twin Flame journey is that this dynamic isn’t just about how you mirror or complement one another. There isn’t just ease and familiarity in the ways you’re similar, or perfect balance in the ways you’re exact opposites.

This dynamic is also incredibly reactive and charged. And I don’t use those words lightly. You see, dual aspects can be said to exist on a spectrum. For example, something can be wetter than it is dry. Lighter than it is dark. More feminine or masculine in nature. These are poles, then.

Poles magnetize. What does this mean?

In practice, it means Twins repel one another just as much as we’re drawn to each other. Like magnets. When we’re aligned, we attract. When we’re misaligned, we repel.

Would that we could always stay in that state of attraction, but in chemistry, we learn that polarities shift.

Let’s go back to that electron. Electrons are always vibrating, never still. Atoms gain and lose charge all the time as those electrons move. This means atoms are positive, negative, and neutral.

In the same way, Twin Flames’ “charge” is not always the same. If you think about the combined energetic field of twins as a system, we’re in neutral when we’re not attracting or repelling. That’s no charge. That’s perfect union.

To us, it seems ideal to always be in that steady neutral state. But we’re human and nature doesn’t work this way, always shifting from negative to positive to neutral. So, we can’t expect our nature to be any different.

Twin Flame Separation and Healing

This is where separation comes in. When we fall out of personal alignment, we repel. It’s that simple.

So, if we’re experiencing an overwhelming influx of negative thoughts and emotions, we’re probably not in alignment. If we’re feeling unworthy and unhappy with our lives, we’re not in alignment. If we’re ignoring our old wounds and refusing to heal from our past, we are definitely not in alignment.

Alignment feels like flow, like life working on our behalf. When we’re in alignment with what our souls desire we feel content and worry-free. We aren’t living from ego or a place of fear. We’re surrendered. We trust the Universe and the path that we’re on.

We don’t separate to heal. We separate because the energetics of Twins will not allow us to sustainably exist together when we’re out of alignment. And what happens to get us into personal alignment is usually healing and/or greater self-awareness.

I’m not saying you have to be perfectly healed to be with your Twin Flame. Far from it.

I’m saying that whatever is in the way of you being in alignment with your truth, your sovereignty, your intuition, your soul — that needs to be cleared before you and your twin will attract one another.

If you’re feeling the urge to run, you’re being repelled and you’re likely out of alignment. If you’re feeling drawn toward them (because you’re existing in a general state of neutrality, where your energy is not always directed toward them), you’re being attracted, which is a good sign you’re where you need to be.

Now your twin needs to do the work as well.

And you can’t do it for them because that would mean your energy is directed toward them. If they’re not in alignment, what will their energy do? Repel. They will not be drawn to you. They will be pushed even further away.

Now that you’re in alignment, they need to get there too and be given the space to be drawn back to you.

Separation is the consequence of our energetic dynamic, not the cause of our problems.

This isn’t a belief. And it isn’t an aphorism. It’s as entrenched and inescapable as the laws of physics.

Why Do We Separate Multiple Times?

This may not be true for everyone. Some separations are longer than others. Some Twin Flames separate for years and when they come back together it’s for the long haul.

Some separate for only a few months and then come back into union. Then they part again and come back into union. And again. And again.

Regardless, even twins who seem to stay in union are bound to need some regular time alone out of one another’s company. So their “separations” may be more like mini-vacations, but they still have them.

This is because of that ever-flowing energy I was describing before. Remember, even once we achieve neutrality, we don’t stay in that neutrality. This is the nature of electrons, the nature of atoms, and the nature of our energy. It is always moving.

We can be in alignment and still repel slightly and attract slightly. It will be less dramatic than the earlier stages, but Twin Flames will always be coming in and out of that neutral state.

The best thing you can do if you know you’re on a Twin Flame journey is surrender to that energetic dance — learn how to navigate that push and pull, maybe even learn to enjoy it.

❤

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