Why Discomfort Will Actually Empower You to Be a Badass
Badass /ˈbadas/ noun: a formidably impressive person.
Ever swiped right on your favorite dating app and realized that you now have to face the music of meeting a stranger? Is there a chance that, at that moment, you thought, “Damn, I feel uncomfortable”? If online dating isn’t your jam, then I can bet my bottom dollar that you felt this way in your last job interview, too.
Damn, this is uncomfortable.
As humans, we’re social by nature and driven by reward and motivation. When the journey we’re embarking on becomes hard and motivation runs low, the reward feels out of reach. Likewise, when we do manage to achieve those wins, but the journey of getting us there was excruciatingly difficult, we often fall victim to thinking more about the challenging nature of it, rather than the win itself.
In simple words, as humans, we like to achieve goals that are attainable and give us an enjoyable reward, without the battle in between. When the journey surrounding those goals is hard to get through — win or lose — those goals seem almost unworthy of our attention, or often just thrown into the “too hard” basket.
But I’m here to tell you that, that “too hard basket” is actually full of missed opportunities. So pick one out and let’s make something of it, shall we?
Why You Should Seek Discomfort
American ultramarathon athlete David Goggins once said:
“Our whole life is set up in the path of least resistance. We don’t want to suffer. We don’t want to feel discomfort. So the whole time, we’re living our lives in a very comfortable area. There’s no growth in that. ”
While Goggins no doubt has exceptional self-discipline (having being able to run extreme distances), it’s the discourse and discomfort in his journey that got him to his status today. Sporting accomplishments aside, Goggins went on to become a notable United States Navy SEAL and a Tactical Air Control member of the United States Air Force.
If Goggins chose the easy road at the beginning, he never would have reached the finished line or participated or climbed the ranks in the military. He found his finish line and elite titles through hard work, resilience, perseverance, and most of all, embracing the discomfort.
How do you think Neil Armstrong felt when he blasted off the planet and towards the moon? Probably not comfortable.
Taking the easy road means we stay in our safe zones. Whether you’re an introvert or out-and-proud extrovert, the ability to go outside of your self-inflicted boundary is a priceless skill to have.
Importantly, that’s exactly where our dreams become our long sought-after realities: in the discomfort. If you can overcome those emotions and feelings that come with being unsettled, then success isn’t too far away from you. In essence, where there’s discomfort, there’s comfort waiting at the finish line.
Discomfort Leads to Growth
Believe it or not, we are most effective at broadening our comfort zones when we are forced into some kind of discomfort. While it may seem counterproductive to sit and “suffer” in the unease in order to get to where we want to be, it’s these experiences that give us perspective and collect new lessons.
In her book Better Than Perfect, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo notes, “Breaking your own mold can only make you stronger and more confident to reach higher levels in your professional and personal life.”
This is the key takeaway. If you can allow yourself to go through the brief and temporary period of feeling uncomfortable with something, you’ll reap the rewards of self-improvement— be it professionally or personally.
Where there’s discomfort, there’s comfort waiting at the finish line.
As an example, I recently went through a very painful break-up after a relationship that spanned just under seven years. I was forced to move back to my hometown, rekindle with those I hadn’t connected with for a long time, and be okay with the silence around me. I lived alone at that time and had to experience two hard lock-downs from COVID-19, away from everything that had become familiar and comfortable to me.
After having someone around me for seven years — who I loved dearly — I had gone to the opposite end of the spectrum and felt isolated, alone, and helpless. Personally, this period in my life is now the most painful for me to reflect on, but I came out of it and into the light (at risk of sounding cliche).
The discomfort during that time was immense. I had to get up in the morning knowing I was waking up alone. I was forced to face my job of running my own business and continue working, even when I felt like a wreck. And most of all, I had to ask others for help — and that can be a really challenging thing to do.
But what came from the discomfort was an innate sense of strength that I never thought I had. This girl — crippled by anxiety and depression — had gotten over hurdles she never would have dreamt she could jump. Sometimes discomfort just makes you face your fears and challenge your thinking. Maybe that’s flight or fight kicking in, too.
Had I not have gone through the pain and discomfort of being alone and experiencing conversations that made me feel uneasy, I wouldn’t be here today — and that's the truth.
How to Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Fortunately, the steps to being okay with feeling out of your comfort zone are relatively easy to initiate. However, you will need an open mind and the motivation to persevere, no matter how much your flight or fight tells you otherwise.
Note: It’s still important to acknowledge your gut instincts and psychological patterns. If you’re feeling in danger or at risk, then do what’s right. Don’t force yourself to remain in unhealthy, threatening situations. The difference lies in whether the uncomfortable situation will end in growth or in harm.
If you’re ready to find clarity or new opportunities in your life — again, both personally and professionally — start with these steps:
- Accept: Start by acknowledging that you feel uncomfortable about something, but taking part in it may provide you with self-growth, confidence, or strength.
- Persevere: When your mind starts playing tricks on you or you hear a J.D. from Scrubs-like voice in your head, persist. Unless there is no advantage at play, remain in the discomfort, and remind yourself that the goodies remain at the finish line.
- Fake it: Sometimes the old saying “Fake it ‘till you make it” really does ring true. Convince your mind that you can something and you’ll be surprised at the result.
- Acknowledge the bad: Life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Even the Gary Vees of this world have had trouble with comfort at some point in time. They got through it all by accepting that, sometimes, life just sucks. Deal with it.
- Find your community: A like-minded circle of friends can be a powerful tool. They’ll pick you up when you need it, be the support system for moments of weakness and a source of inspiration. Use platforms like Meetup or Facebook and Reddit to find a community you can gel with.
- Journal: Anyone who reads my work will know I’m a huge advocate of journaling. Grab a pen and paper — or your laptop — and record your progress. Alternatively, use a commonplace book. Note down wins, hiccups, thoughts, and observations. Reflection is important and your journal will be the Holy Bible for this.
- Celebrate: When you achieve a win, celebrate it in whatever way works best for you. Show the world who’s boss. You’ve nailed it.
Sitting in the discourse and the unknown is painful; the discomfort is even more so. But I can promise you now that there’s always a light at the end of that cliche’ tunnel. Use it as your spotlight.
Sidenote: I highly recommend the below article as further reading on this topic, where Lombardo’s work is also explored.
Mind Cafe’s Reset Your Mind: A Free 10-Day Email Course
We’re offering a free course to all of our new subscribers as a thank you for your continued support. When you sign up using this link, we’ll send you tips on how to boost mental clarity and focus every two days.
