Why Can’t I Be Me?
He faced a dilemma. Change and lose a damn good, well-paying job. Or put your life at risk to be yourself.
My neighbor has a son who used to be a good child. He went through primary and high school without a hitch. He did the right things to make his mother and school proud. He was a brilliant child who got many awards for his academic performance. All his teachers had good things to say about him, so did everyone in his community. He studies the stock market and has been buying stocks since high school.
He is a disciplined and well-mannered child.
He is damn good at IT. He fixes everything on my computer. Being the only child for his mother, she goes overboard to ensure he has all he needs and a few of what he wants. She does janitorial work for a living. She made many sacrifices to ensure his needs were met. He finished college and couldn’t enter Law school to fulfill his dream of becoming a lawyer because his mom migrated and was filing for him. He opted to get his law degree in the USA.
One of the things that made her most happy was that he didn’t give in to peer pressure. He didn’t pierce his ears. He always cuts his hair low and neat. He doesn’t smoke or drink, nor does he wear tight pants. He had no tattoos either. According to some people in our world, his appearance is how a male should look. In our community, he was considered decent and respectable. Several mothers thought he would be perfect for their daughters. He wasn’t a girl-crazy boy. His focus was achieving success so his mother wouldn’t have to kill herself working. In the USA, she was a Home Health Aide.
He knows what he wants from an early age and isn’t afraid to work for it. Unfortunately, not many males are confident enough to carry themselves like him or be themselves in the real world in his world.
His qualifications weren’t the only reason for his employment. His physical appearance was an incentive. Specific business in my country has a dress code. If you are going to represent them, you must accept and abide by it. He had an office job.
He also is a very positive and happy young man who isn’t afraid to be himself. Confidence flowed from him and everything he did, which got him promoted to supervisor in less than a year. He was doing a great job.
He took public transportation to work. One morning a few weeks ago, he was almost attacked and accused of being a cop.
After changing his route, he was accosted and accused of being someone else a few days later. At the risk of increased transportation costs, he rerouted again. Thoughts of buying a car entered his head, but he thought it would be a waste of money since he would migrate soon. Due to increased harassment because of how different he looked, he often changed his route. There weren’t many routes available, and he had to be at work at a specific time.
Our physical appearance says a lot about us. Some of us are often judged and criticized because of that.
All of us have a right to be who we want to be. And we should be allowed to be ourselves without fear.
Looking different and being himself was becoming a liability. He didn’t fit in according to how many of the males in his world carried themselves. He must work because he has bills to pay. He must live. His job demands he look how he does now.
He loved and wanted to be himself. That’s the only way he knows how. He can’t because certain humans formed their opinion of who they think he should be, then unconsciously is trying to change him.
He faced a dilemma. Change, lose himself, and a damn good, well-paying job. Or put your life at risk to be yourself.
What the hell?
Why should anyone do that?
He is now carrying a ratchet knife for protection, which comes with a fine and a criminal record if that weapon is visible to a police officer. His mother is filing for him. A criminal record on file would prevent him from joining her. She worries about him a lot. He is her only child.
His personality is changing. He is becoming angry and aggressive, which will affect his ability to do his job. He is no longer a happy person and quickly goes on the defense. He defends himself even when he doesn’t have to. He was always an easy-going young man. Now he is challenging to get along with and is slowly transforming into someone else.
I watched a very nice, respectable cheerful young man become another victim of the cruelty of humanity. Without intervention, someone who did all the right things must adapt to doing all the wrong things that could ruin a life worth living — a life filled with hope and promise.
When we deny others the right to be themselves, we restrict hope, honesty, love, kindness, understanding, knowledge, wisdom, forgiveness, peace, and all good things humans need to sustain life.
For 2022, allow everyone to be themselves!
Merry Christmas, everyone. May 2022 be your year to shine.
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