Why Candy Companies, Travel Agents, and Vladimir Putin Want People To Have More Sex

It’s time to let your patriotism explode

What would motivate you to have more sex?

A plea to help your mother? A rap song from a candy manufacturer? Or perhaps a Boyz 2 Men concert organized by the Russian President, Vladimir Putin.

I’m not sure any of the above would motivate me, but all three are strategies that have been tried around the world to get more people to have sex.

Not for pleasure. Or for love. But for their country.

Many nations are experiencing a decline in their population and are trying to incentivize their citizens to procreate.

I’ve written previously about sex travel, but could this lead to a new form of travel? Heading to a country to give birth and get paid?

Could you visit Russia to attend a concert and then make love to the enthusiastic applause of Putin.

It may not be as crazy as you think.

Great Dane

When I visited Denmark, I was astounded at the country's beauty. Or, to be more specific, the people who lived there.

Everyone was tall, blonde, and with striking chiseled jawlines. Everywhere I looked, there was a Great Dane. I have never felt so inadequate.

I incorrectly assumed there was no problem with people getting it on.

Perhaps they are, but they all practice safe sex because Denmark has a very low fertility rate — 1.73 children per woman. This was too low for a Danish travel company, Spies Rejser, who launched a couple of campaigns urging Danes to have more sex.

“Sex specialists believe that Danes are too busy with their daily life and they need to get away, so we hope we encourage people to take a break and have some romance,” Eva Lundgren, Spies Rejser spokesperson.

The company offered a range of romantic cities for couples to visit and even asked for women to enter the date of their last period, so they could book a trip when they are at their most fertile.

They also claim that couples have 51% more sex while on holiday.

Any couple that conceived while on vacation received three years’ worth of baby supplies.

I'm not sure I’d want my travel agent to be actively involved in my sex plans, but then again, I’m not tall and blonde with a chiseled jawline.

Is your mom a voyeur?

“If they won’t do it for their country, surely they will do it for their mother?”

When the first campaign failed to lift birth rates, the team at Spies Rejser decided to bring mothers into the equation.

The next campaign they ran was called “Do it for Mom,” which asked couples to have children for the sake of their parents that were longing to become grandparents.

The campaign video has amassed almost 11 million views and is worth watching.

It starts with a sad elderly woman who is pining for grandkids. The voiceover states that mothers have been there for every moment of their children's lives and then shows a couple getting amorous on a bed while a lady looks on forlornly.

Having your mother watch you have sex is far worse than your travel agent scheduling a sex romp for you.

The idea was that couples needed to get away from their voyeuristic mothers and take a vacation.

Other Danish organizations jumped on board the bandwagon is time.

The City of Copenhagen ran ads with slogans asking men if their sperm was “swimming too slowly?” and women if they had “counted their eggs today?”

The national broadcaster also asked people to “screw for Denmark.”

The campaigns seemed to work. Nine months after they ran, there were 1200 more births than in the same month the previous year.

“It was a bit of a surprise to me that there were so many campaigns on the subject within such a short time. It certainly resulted in people getting plenty of fertility advice,” Copenhagen’s deputy mayor for health, Ninna Thomsen.

Putin the penis in the vagina

In many of his addresses to the Russian nation, Putin mentions sex.

As the Russian population continues to decline, Vlad the Valentine frequently encourages his people to have more children. The current number of births per woman in Russia is 1.5, well below the 2.1 necessary to renew the population.

In December last year, during his annual press conference, Putin said it is a “joy to have children,” and there is “no greater happiness in life and in the world.”

Putin has tried many things over the last fifteen years to get Russians to have more children.

He has offered cash payments but getting money for sex isn't romantic. But you know what is romantic?

Boyz 2 Men.

In 2013, Putin hired the American R&B group to boost his nationwide fertility campaign. They performed a concert the week before Valentine’s Day, with Putin hoping the romantic ballads would inspire a week-long burst of passion.

Thankfully Putin didn't join them on stage to sing “I’ll Make Love To You.”

But the best Russian idea to lift reproduction rates originated in the Russian region of Ulyanovsk, the birthplace of one of the least romantic men in history — Vladimir Lenin.

The region has declared September 12 the Day of Conception and gives couples the day off to have sex. Any babies born on June 12 are considered patriots, and the parents can win money, cars, TV, and other household goods.

It’s like a fun version of The Price Is Right.

Sexy Singaporean soiree

When you think of sexy food, what comes to mind?

Oysters. Chocolate. Mentos.

Wait, what. Mentos?

In 2012, the candy company Mentos wanted to help lift Singapore’s “unbelievably low birthrates.” So, they launched “National Night,” a festive night to encourage Singaporean couples to “let their patriotism explode.”

September 9 was chosen as the night for Singaporeans to get frisky. However, it should be said that the conservative government only wanted participation from “financially secure adults in stable, committed long-term relationships.”

The night involved a parade before the cue was given for couples to get it on.

And what better cue could there be than a rap song penned by the good people at Mentos.

I dare you to listen to this and not think sex.

With lines such as, “I’m a patriotic husband, you my patriotic wife, lemme book into ya camp and manufacture a life, ” Jay Z has nothing to fear from the Mentos Rap Crew.

What’s with the mom obsession?

Mom…it’s not you, it’s me. Well, actually, it’s both of us and our relationship.

In India, advertising agency Madison devised a series of advertisements to lift the dwindling Parsi population.

They used lines like ‘isn’t it time you broke up with your mom?’ and ‘Be responsible. Don’t use a condom tonight’ to get Parsis to have more children.

One for the country

There are many countries concerned about declining birth rates. Governments worry about who will support an aging population as workers fund pensions.

When my children were born, Australia had a “baby bonus.” The Aussie government paid $4000 for every baby. Sadly no TVs or cars, though. It was increased to $6000 — a year too late for me — but was abolished in 2014.

At the time the scheme was launched, the treasurer Peter Costello asked young Aussies to have “one for mum, one for dad, and one for the country.”

Given I only have two children, I guess I failed my country.

Germany, Japan, and many other countries offer financial incentives to have children. For example, Hungary proposed tax incentives to mothers with more than three children.

While a $4000 payment, a new dishwasher, or a song from Boyz 2 Men seem unlikely incentives to make such a big life decision, it seems they do have some effect.

Research shows that the Australian baby bonus encouraged people to have more children at a time when fertility rates were low, and an extra 24,000 babies were born.

In Russia, the financial incentives initially had some impact, but since 2017 the birth rates have dropped again. According to Russian demographer Anatoly Vishnevsky, offering cash won’t affect the pattern of declining birth rates as it is the same in every industrialized country.

“President Putin’s whole idea that the birth rate can be corrected solely by money is invalid.”

I guess the same could be said of many of Putin’s policies. Except, of course, hiring Boyz 2 Men — that is a solid policy.

As I was writing this article, I was hit by a strange thought. My birthday is June 13. Did my parents celebrate Conception Day? Am I the result of trying to win a new Ford?

I need to call my mom. And not to break up with her. Just to see if I exist only because they wanted a new dishwasher.

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