Why Aren’t There More Public Diaries On Medium?

Maybe this is just me wanting to be nosy and in everyone’s business. *smirks*

I love reading public diary entries — but I don’t often see them on Medium. Medium’s a platform where wake-up-at-5AM-and-you’ll-change-your-life “inspirational” articles and the scoop on the latest get-rich-quick schemes reign supreme. Chaotic poorly-researched musings on random topics? They don’t do so well.

But, for me, writing a public diary entry is like watching an old Nickelodeon show from the 2000s or discovering new Lunchables flavors at Walmart. It wraps me in a buttery soft blanket of nostalgia. Because, if there’s one thing that I have experience in, it’s oversharing on a public platform.

This public diary entry, written on December 20, 2021, explored some #realBlackgirlshit that I don’t have too many platforms to discuss. So, why not here? *smirks*

The Return of the Crochet Braids *insert creepy cackle*

I recently finished my first crochet braids, after three years of staying far, far away from them. They are giving me life. In college, I used to do them a lot. After I graduated, I felt weird about seeing pictures of me in crochet braids. I thought that my hair was embarassingly gigantic.

I think it’s because I’ve always been self-conscious of having a bigger head. I rarely find sunglasses or hats that fit my head, especially because of my hair. (That’s another reason why these companies are mad anti-Black, why don’t y’all make hats big enough to fit my afro?)

The kids used to make fun of me for my big head back in school. It legit still messes with my head to this day. So now, even as an adult, I think that big hair brings attention to my big ass head. (lowkey cackling as I write this)

But, I love big hair. Since I cut my hair short last summer, I haven’t been able to get that big afro look that I love. I figured that crochet braids would be an easy way to get that style. So, I said screw my anxious thoughts and went for it. I’m here for this natural moment.

This is the first time I’ve crocheted my own hair. My mom had to cornrow it, because I’m a part of a secret society entitled B.G.W.C.C (Black Girls Who Can’t Cornrow). But, it was me sitting there for hours, using a crochet needle to work through alladis look.

An afro just feels like me. I like straight hair, but when I wear it I feel like I’m cosplaying as someone else. An afro, or box braids, really makes me feel like I’m exactly who I need to be. Hair’s powerful like that.

Insecure is ending and I feel like Ashanti in the “Rain on Me” video

I watched the penultimate episode of Insecure last night. As the teaser for the final episode played, I was two seconds from shedding tears. Insecure has just been such an inspiration for me. My selfish ass really doesn’t want to see it go.

In the past two years, TV shows with Black leads have multiplied tremendously — and they’re actually good. For example, I recently watched the pilot episodes of Abbott Elementary and Grand Crew — quality TV y’all. They both will continue in 2022, and I’m super excited to see how these shows, with Black leads just living life, will continue.

Seeing characters who look like me be allowed to live, without any expectation of racial turmoil or overall strife, feels so unreal that I think it’s going to be snatched away from me without a moment’s notice.

So, in my brain, one that’s been constantly traumatized through the experiences of living Black in America, the end of Insecure feels like the end of positive representation of Black women who look like me: dark-skinned.

This is, of course, wrong! There have been so many great shows (recently) that feature Black women just living their dang lives. They’re shown as human beings and not as charicatures to be picked and prodded.

I just don’t know if these new shows they’re really getting marketing push that they need to succeed. The only reason I know about Abbott Elementary or Grand Crew is through word-of-mouth on social media.

Here are a few other shows with Black female leads that you should check out: Our Kind of People, Run the World, Blood & Water, and Twenties.

But, I will always love Insecure. Always. Guess I just have a soft spot for seeing my fellow awkward Black girls win.

Seeing Insecure, and Issa Rae’s rise to stardom, showed me how far I could fly as a writer doing this internet thing. I’ve never seen someone doing what I’d like to do who looked like me, so it was a big eye-opener.

So, thanks Issa. Save a seat for me at one of your future A Sip With Issa Rae events, will ya? We can talk about my future New York Times Best Selling Novel named [redacted].

Nia Simone McLeod writes, creates digital content, and watches a ton of Flavor of Love reruns. Check out her newsletter for her scorching hot takes on writing and pop culture.

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