Why Are We Quick to Get Rid Of Our Feelings?

We would sooner pop a pill than listen to messages sent by our bodies.

They touch us every day, every minute.

We take it for granted.

We relish in them.

We get destroyed by them.

Our thoughts and emotions — so exquisite, so passionate may become our worst nightmares.

Emotions and thoughts are strongly influenced by our words. Words we speak shape our self-image: they can either liberate or limit our potential.

The way we feel is always reflected in our body and the surrounding environment. Whenever the body sends you a signal to slow down or take care of your essence, you should never ignore it. Our bodies are here to serve us. They communicate blockages of energy, beliefs we need to overcome and integrate in order to restore the balance.

Yesterday I got a call from my friend who had chronic troubles sleeping and stomach pains upon waking up.

‘Great news!’ I heard on the other side. ‘My doctor has agreed to prescribe me the pill I have told you about.’

Six months ago, she was taken to the hospital because of her severe stomach issues. Doctors told her it was due to her anxiety attacks and prescribed a pill to pacify her for nights she slept at the clinic. She has grown to love the pill. No troubles with sleeping. No stomach aches. No awareness whatsoever.

‘Aren’t you afraid of getting addicted?’ I asked.

‘To the lack of pain? Listen, I know you meditate, do yoga, practice your everyday nature walks, but that is impossible for me. I don’t have time to do so. And even if I found the time, I would want to spend it on myself, catching up on TV shows or go shopping. You are perfect health. I am not.’

I have realized she is not willing to make time for herself. Escaping into the digital world or consumer pursuits are the most convenient forms of denial.

Why are we so afraid to own up to our emotions?

I have come a long journey of suppressing my guilt, lack of self-worth and shame. Those hidden emotions gave way to numerous health conditions and life choices, which ultimately led me to the self-healing path.

There was a time in my life when I would run away from meeting uncomfortable people. I was not escaping people. I was refusing to face emotions they stirred up in me. Contradicting my feelings led to energy blockages which in turn deteriorated my mental and physical state.

Many studies present how poor mental state of our wellbeing deteriorate our physical health.

Running away from your emotions means lack of willingness to face people who ask uncomfortable questions, make you feel less. You cannot change people, you cannot change the world, but you can change your perception.

I am not suggesting diving into deep waters of humility and shame. Take is slow. Get accustomed to your reactions, tame them by acknowledging the source of your unease.

For me, it was the fear of not being enough. I felt the desire to impress, make my family proud. It did not serve my well-being but definitely made me grow. So actually, nothing bad has come out of it thanks to not escaping my truth. Only by facing it, you can transform it into a building force.

Bettering my quality of life is strictly connected with mindfulness practice, embracing my emotions, letting them go and changing my perspective on life. In short, getting excited about everything I get to experience daily.

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. - Ralph Marston

We distract ourselves from embracing the whole package.

People don’t want to face their emotions. They would rather numb themselves with TV, news, sex, alcohol. We are prompt to escape into the world of somebody else’s crisis showed on the TV screen than accept our own traumas.

We are afraid to let go of familiar labels, glamour for the fear of uncovering what might be hidden underneath. We are terrified to know ourselves.

It is your choice. It is just one way of living. Why not explore more options?

I would rather spend eight hours nurturing my mental health, re-scripting my old beliefs than live a life I fell no passion for. I would rather face my deepest fears and uncomfortable emotions than face unwanted reality.

When you read a fantasy book it provides you with a form of escapism from overthinking or facing burdensome reality. But when you do it constantly you are taking away your power and focus to change that reality.

Many people do not want to meditate because they are afraid of what might come up, what traumatic emotions they would have to face.

It is understandable. I am not mocking nor criticizing.

But in order to heal and progress, one needs to become aware of the fear lurking in the shadow. Understanding is the first step to awareness, and only then recovery can follow.

You are not your emotions. You have emotions. And you can master them. - John Lennon

Our physical body demonstrates its internal truths through pain and discomfort. Sometimes we are not willing to acknowledge the signal.

Your pace of life can be disproportionate to your purpose. The body wants you to slow down.

You may take on too much on your shoulders. The body pleads you to adjust.

When you are running away from uncomfortable truths, hiding your pain just because society does not give men permission to cry, or you established yourself as a strong and independent woman, no wonder you put up walls around you, so all the negative energy becomes trapped, with no outlets into its free-flowing natural state.

We get accustomed to negativity and stress in our life.

We get familiar with the stressful pace of life not even consider changing it. ‘It is just how it is. Face it.’ We tend to say. It is hard to spot pressure as those external stimuli become blended into everyday reality.

It is the easy way out to pop a pill. It is a fast cure. But there is nothing exquisite about the long-term side effects such as sabotaging your relationships, fear from commitment or addictions to name a few.

Learn to perceive your emotions as unique components of your being. There is nothing to be shameful or fearful about. Your rollercoaster of feelings will guarantee you a hell of a ride.

Will it be scary?

At first, yes.

It will seem daunting and too much of a work. But it only seems that way because the ego wants you to shy away from the choice to jump on the ride.

Become an observer.

The observer of your thoughts. The observer of your emotions.

Instead of focusing on the outside world, what others do, what others might think, what others will say, start paying attention to you.

Once you make a space for your thoughts to come and go by simply allowing them to exist besides you but not identifying with them, your mind will no longer claim the power over you.

Go even one step further.

By observing your reactions to certain events, you can tame them and get to the core of your triggers.

Where is this anger coming from? What did cause this anxiety? Why am I being so obsessive about this issue?

You are not an angry person. I am not an anxious person.

No way. You are better than that.

We are not our emotions. Emotions are states which come and go. They pass. Just like seasons. They are only seasons. When you become tired of winter, you know that spring is just around a corner, and you do not stress about it. You are dead sure about warmer months on their way.

This can be applied to our emotions as well. Once you feel the flood of anger or sadness coming over you, acknowledge it, embrace the sensation, let it be, observe, greet it as an old friend and let it go.

Appreciate the myriad of feelings.

You get to feel. You get to be human.

Instead of demonizing our unique states of being, trying to exert pressure on stifling our emotions, befriend them.

(E)motions of ups and downs help us find balance and harmony.

Let yourself feel them. Acknowledge where those emotions are coming from and work on fixing the situation. By fixing, I mean limiting it to the minimum or cutting it out of your life completely. What is crucial, I do not mean fixing you.

Because you are not broken.

If somebody close to you is making you feel worse about yourself, the first thing you need to do in order to change the outcome of your relationship is acknowledging the toxic bond. Secondly, realize that negative treatment from that person does not stem from you but from the person itself. These are usually their demons and their issues projected through them onto you as they do not know how to handle those negative thoughts about themselves.

And you are not the solution to their problems.

So next time, difficult emotion flushes over you, become the observer. Do not engage in emotion. Breathe. Calm down. Close your eyes. Embrace the feeling but do not let it consume you.

The best practice is to label, question emotions, even mock them and acknowledge that they are just thoughts. They will pass like clouds and disappear eventually from our sight.

You are not what you suffer from.

You cannot let yourself get defined by the random thoughts popping into your head.

We all have a natural detective system.

Diving into your emotions only seems to be uncomfortable because you have never been there. It is unfamiliar. And mind worships the familiar. So your habits, thinking patterns will go to great lengths in trying to persuade you from choosing the approach.

Do not let yourself be conditioned through your fearful and egoistic mind.

Take the chance. Experiment.

Try out guided meditation, intentional breathing techniques, exercising outside.

Spend time alone. Let your thoughts come up. Write them down. Observe them. Honour them.

They are just your thoughts. They have no power over you unless you give it to them.

Instead of opting for the quick fix, I advocate for the side effects of being mindfully happy rather than catching glimpses of joy and ecstasy brought on by occasional immune practices.

I dare you to care.

Care how you feel.

Care what you think about.

Are you up for the challenge?

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