Why Are We Not Calling Husbands Weaponizing Incompetence What They Really Are?
Feigning incompetence is the new glamourized term for a*sholes.

Am I the only one who thinks women are glorifying their abusive husbands by not calling out their abuses?
Why do we laugh when a man lives in a dirty house because his wife is away on vacation and he doesn’t have the decency to clean and tidy his home?
How is it acceptable that a new mum — nursing a 7-day-old baby– cooks, cleans, does laundry, goes grocery shopping and makes sure her husband’s emotional needs are provided while her husband sits on the couch chatting on his phone and watching her stress out and gives her compliments on how sexy she looks despite having a baby?
Well, that’s normal.
In fact, the man truly loves his wife for noticing how pretty she looks under stress. Is not like he could pick up the brush and clean the toilet or wash the dishes. He has no hands to do that.
Men’s hands are used for eating, during sex, and making money only. If they do anything else, their hands will fall off.
We don’t want our husbands to lose their hands, do we?
Of course not!
Besides, normalizing abuse is not a crime in our society. You remember how a girl is harassed on the streets because she looked too good for men to resist and everyone said she asked for the attention? Or the wife who spoke out that her husband rapes her, but she was shut down because her body now belongs to her husband the minute she said “I do” during her wedding vows?
So yes, husbands get a pass for abusing their wives for the obvious reasons that women are legalized slaves. It’s the woman’s job to ensure her house is clean, that her children are raised properly, her family is untied, and to ensure that her husband doesn’t cheat.
But men?
Their job is to ensure there’s money in the house to put food on the table. Despite women becoming the main breadwinners in most homes, the husbands are excused for being lazy assholes because is not a man’s duty to do house chores.
Our problem is not the men, but rather the women that enable their husbands’ abuses. These women know that being a full-time mom is emotionally damaging but they pretend to be alright in front of men, including their husbands but cry foul to their female friends.
I’ve lost sympathy for these women. About a month ago, my friend Cynthia asked me to borrow her money to buy foodstuff for her husband and son, but I refused. I told her the money I had at that moment was meant for my flight ticket to Santa Monica.
I had planned the trip weeks prior to get away from the emotional stress of work. Cynthia got offended that I was refusing to lend her my assistance over a trip. I reminded her that my mental health was just as important as her family’s physical health.
This wasn’t the first time I had bailed Cynthia out of her family troubles. There was a time she woke me up in the middle of the night to come and pick her and her twelve-year-old son. She needed a place to spend the night because her husband got drunk and was beating them up.
The following day, I encouraged her to press charges against her abusive husbands but she refused. She said, “he wasn’t always violent, except when he’s drunk.” In her plea on his behalf, she said he always apologizes when he’s sober.
Whenever Cynthia needs financial help she comes running to her single friends. I have tried to advise her to leave the marriage since her husband is irresponsible and the marriage is destroying her life, but she ignores my advice.
Luckily, she got a job at a local storage factory after he left them starving for three days. But the pay isn’t enough to cover their monthly expenses. So she’s always borrowing and she hardly pays back.
I hate it when my married female friends feel entitled to my time and affection simply because I’m single. They use me as their nanny whenever they need a babysitter and they don’t care how inconvenient the request would be for me.
When they need a loan, they come to me because they think I always have spare cash since I have no family responsibility draining my pocket.
They don’t care that I have a nineteen-year-old in the university and an elderly mom to care for. But because my dependents don’t live with me, they think I’m not spending money as much as they do.
I hate it when my married friends think I’m apathetic because I prioritize my well-being instead of their children. They have grown-ass men as partners who should be sharing part of their burden. But they rather blame their single friends for not helping them out than their incompetent husbands.
Unfortunately, most women do not realize their husbands are weaponizing their incompetence. They have no idea these men fake being incompetent because they want to avoid their responsibilities.
Men are not fools like some women think they are. They use this strategy to avoid certain household chores and their parental duties.
They know that if they pretend to be incompetent, their girlfriend or wife will be forced to do those things themselves. Thereby creating an imbalance in domestic labour.
I hear a lot of men complain about their wives not having time for them and that they focus their attention on the children but can’t seem to figure out that they (the men) are the cause.
Men happily allow their wives to shoulder the responsibilities of two people, but they forget that a tired wife won’t have the desire for sex nor will she have the empathy to understand their emotional problems.
A friend of mine who is a therapist says some of her female clients usually come for advice on how to get their husbands or boyfriends to take on more responsibilities at home. These women are depressed from doing all the housework while their partners stay out with friends or play games whenever they are home.
Nowadays, most women work remotely and this can bridge the boundaries between work and housework. If the woman is burned out from working tirelessly during the day and asks her husband to prepare dinner. Her husband might shrug her off by reminding her how he burnt the steaks in his last attempt to make dinner.
Leaving the woman with no other choice but to make the dinner herself, adding an extra workload to her already stressful day.
A study conducted by BMC Public Health found that weaponized incompetence causes undue stress due to exhaustion from disproportionate house labour.
Because women are taught to be the backbone of their husbands– the pressure to be the perfect wives in the eyes of society limits women’s autonomy and increases their health risk.
These women feel bitter. They are exhausted. They make bad decisions. They have difficulty with sleep, are depressed and often fatigued.
If you notice your husband is leaving tasks or house chores he claims doesn’t know how to do, show him how to do the task or send him a tutorial on where he can learn how but don’t ignore his incompetence.
It’s important you let your partner know how much their incompetence is affecting your health and the relationship.
Until women put a stop to the abuse of men weaponizing incompetence and start treating their husbands as they should, which is holding them accountable for their actions, and setting boundaries with their duties in the family, such men will never change.
Men need to realize that they are as responsible for raising their children as much as women are. They need to know that women are emotionally and physically traumatized by the excessive workload they do in keeping the family healthy and peaceful.
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