Why and How You Can Promise Less To Others
I’m someone who promises a lot to others. I never want to disappoint anyone else. I believe others will be angry when I don’t do anything for them. I know that this thought of mine is ridiculous, but that is what I always thought as I have been through all that negativity. I thought when you do everything others want and always say yes, you will help others.
I also realized that it all was too much for me, always saying yes to others. I couldn’t keep it up anymore. I was tired all the time from keeping my promises, but also doing what I had promised. I needed to protect myself. So, I had to give myself boundaries. I had to say no more often because I was tired of saying yes all the time and I couldn’t keep up all the promises. I wasn’t aware of all the time I had.
Giving yourself boundaries
I didn’t know my boundaries anymore at some point. So, I have to wake myself up. I told myself, if I am continuing like this, I am going to get a burnout. I was saying no more often, but saying yes, when I was able to.
So, it helps me giving myself boundaries. Somehow, I needed to say stop to myself when I said yes too much. In some ways it does works, but not it doesn’t work always, because some things must be done.
It is a path I’m walking at the moment. Sometimes it is difficult. But it is worth learning more about yourself every time and every day. It is difficult as you want to do so many things in your life.
Protecting yourself
Promising less to others is a way of protecting yourself. It is a way to not disappoint only yourself, but you’re not disappointing others too. You get more peace in mind and your space to do other things you love to do. Also, the chance you get a burn out is minimal. It is a trick not to fill in the space with other projects you’re going to do.
But how do you give yourself boundaries, saying no when you have to? And saying yes when you’re able yo?
- Look how fast you are. When you know how fast you do activities and your tasks, then you know how long each task and activity takes for you.
- What can you do and how much? Know how much you can do in a certain time. How long does your task take for you? Know what skills you can do, what do you love to do and what are your hobbies. Everything you love takes less time than when you do something you have to learn.
- Make a list of big and small tasks. When you doing tasks when you said yes, you have to make lists of the small things and the big things. Within these two lists, you have to prioritize what is most important to do first and maybe lists are merged.
- Schedule your tasks with the priorities. This has to do something that I said before. When you prioritised what is most important, you will have a great view on how to spend your time and when you have to say no and when you are able to say yes.
- Keep onto your schedule. You have to keep onto your schedule before getting behind with all the tasks. When you get behind, you did say yes too much or you are not able to keep onto your schedule. When you don’t do that then you know you have to rethink about how you spend your time.
Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.
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