When Your Partner Is Your Best Friend

My story about best friends and a relationship

I do have good friends. Best Friends. Friends who have been on my side for several years. I have friends all over the world. But still. My partner is not only my boyfriend. He is also my best friend. There is no topic I won’t talk about with him. Not one.

Best Friends

I do have a handful of good friends. I do not call one person my best friend because I have several friends. Due to my moving abroad decision, I lost a lot of friends back home. But those who stayed, those who accepted my decision, those who always supported me – they are all my best friends!

I still got one friend from kindergarten times. She’s never been in the same class as me. She’s never been in the same handball team with me (just because she’s three months younger). We didn’t go to the same high school or university.

From a young age on there was always a distance between us. Physical distance. But that didn’t stop us from being friends. And that didn’t change when I moved thousands of kilometers away. We stayed friends. We might not talk to each other every month. But so what. If one of us has something to share or talk about the other person is always there.

“Share your smile with the world. It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.” — Christie Brinkley

Another friend I have from my time in high school. We have been in the same girls' gang as teenagers. We’ve been bullied by the same girls. And we’ve decided that we are better than them and decided to leave the group.

We lost a few followers but gained ourselves. We supported each other and stayed together. Even after school, nothing could tear us apart. Within the last six years, our friendship is based on hour-long Skype calls but it includes also one road trip together. Such awesome memories.

And she’s always there for me. When I feel down or when I am sad I send a message asking if we can Skype. Her reply is always the same. No matter what time it is in her world. She will reply „five minutes“. Which means that she is getting ready for a long call.

Then there’s that one friend I have from the university. She travels a lot. I travel a lot. We’ve been on holiday together and on weekend trips. We might not talk all the time, but when one needs the other there will always be an answer coming back. She’s also my go-to-person when I have questions about CVs and job interviews. She just has more experience in it than me.

And then there is that one friend who is left from my handball team. I used to play handball since I was seven years old. I build lots of friendships, met awesome people, and loved being a team player.

I would always be keen on getting back to my old team. The team I left when I moved abroad. But actively in contact, I’m only with one of them. She even visited me on the other side of the world. We also did an unforgettable trip together.

And that’s it from my friends back home. I do have one more friend in Germany, but I met her in Namibia. She was part of my life when I build up my own world on the other side.

We have so many memories together. So many situations together where I wouldn’t hesitate to go back to if we could time travel. Since she moved back to Germany our friendship became also a long-distance one. Didn’t change anything on our relationship though.

Friends all over the world

I have friends all over the world. Because of my travels. Because of living abroad for so many years. Most of the time I spent living in Namibia. Where I wouldn’t call one of them my best friends. Because they are more than just friends. They are my family.

I got adopted from a group of friends like parents to adopt a child. They didn’t just take care of me. They raised me. They let me stay in their houses. They let me grow. They supported me. They helped me when I made mistakes. They made sure I stayed on the right path.

That is why they are more than just friends. They are my family away from home. And I miss them every day. Every day I’m not with them I think about them. Because there is always something that makes me remind of them.

I also have more people I call friends now. Because of the time we spend together. In Thailand for example. When I started working in the skydiving industry. It’s not all easy when you’re a girl in such an adrenaline based industry.

But those girls who make it. Those girls fly higher than the guys. Those girls really rock. And there are two of them I was lucky enough to meet. They have been supporting me in Thailand. One of them I’m still in contact with on a daily basis I would say.

And then there are many more people I connected with and have a special bond with due to the time we spent together.

My significant other

But someone who recently came into my life and literally didn't leave my side became my best friend. That someone I would talk with about everything. Even those things I thought I can only talk about with my female friends.

He became my new best friend. My best friend while all the other friends are thousands of miles away. When Skype and WhatsApp won’t help to solve my problem. Then he is there. To listen. To talk back. To give a hug.

And it wasn’t that recent. We actually know each other for more than five years now. Of these five years, we’ve been in a relationship for four years. And lived together for three.

One entire year we spent 24 hours a day seven days a week together. Yes, we lived and worked together. Before you judge. Have you tried that before? Not with your partner. But with your best friend? I’m sure you would struggle either way.

But it wasn’t a real challenge for us. We enjoyed it. Of course, we had fights. Of course, we had situations where we didn’t have the same opinion. So what. All you have to do is talk.

Talk whenever you’re unhappy.

Talk whenever you have a problem with something.

Talk whenever you don’t like a situation.

Talk whenever you’re sad. Say it, when you want a hug. Don’t just assume the other side will know what you need.

Talk whenever you are happy too! Share your happiness. Say it out loud when you’re proud of something.

Talk about anything and everything. That is our way to deal with everything in life. Including clashing culture differences and rituals. We talk about it. And then we find a way. We find a way to solve the problem. We make a compromise. Or change something. Whatever has to be done.

I even talk about things like female hygiene. And things you think men don’t want to hear. But it’s not true. They just don’t know anything about it because nobody tells them anything about it. They can listen and will listen. They understand. And they are anyway impressed how we deal with this bleeding thing in general.

I was unsure about it too. If I can say something. Whatever bothered me. But there was no reason for it. He listened carefully. He was curious. He wanted to know how it works (I use a menstrual cup, while I know that there are lots of women out there who still don’t know what a menstrual cup is). He does understand it now. And he always assures me not to be ashamed.

There is no reason to be ashamed of anything involving being a woman. What we woman still often are. Because it’s a topic nobody talks about. For whatever stupid reason. Because it’s part of life.

Long-distance relationship

Unfortunately, the pandemic turned our lives upside down. And separated us. Due to the fact of having different passports. Now we live 24 hours seven days a week apart from each other. On different continents. Same time zones though.

That way our relationship consists of Skype calls and WhatsApp texts. At the moment. Just like all the relationships with my other friends. We deal with it. Even though it’s not easy.

It’s not easy fighting against inequality in the world. But we talk about everything we hear. All the news we get regarding our situation. Any laws that could help us get back together again. We talk about them. Discuss them. And we will find a way.

Our friendship won’t take a knock on this one. We’ve been through so much already. Together. Our relationship is strong enough to withstand the current crisis.

I am convinced.

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