BE UNIQUE

Traveling with Two Different Passports

The story about the challenges of my relationship.

I do know that I am privileged with my passport. Because I can travel pretty much anywhere I want to. Anytime. I did know this before too. But I wasn’t really aware of what it actually means. I didn’t know what the privilege meant. I did not know any different.

The relationship with different passports

Until I met him. Because love doesn’t know passports. Love doesn’t know borders. I met a man who names the neighbouring country as his home because nobody has ever heard about his home country. Or knows where in the world it is located. A man who gets discriminated against because he is white in Africa. Because nobody in the world believes that he is from Africa.

I am not writing down stereotypes. I am telling my story. Sharing my experience with you.

Countless times I’ve heard him saying “I’m from Africa.” Because it is just so much easier than trying to explain the other person that Africa is not a country. That Africa has 54 countries. That Namibia is one of these countries. That most of these countries were colonized by Europeans. That he is born in Africa. His parents are born in Africa. And his grandparents too. And that they are all white. And that despite the fact that all of America is writing about “blacklivesmatter”, I do tell a story about whites being discriminated in Africa. And in the world. For being white. In Africa. Being white in Africa is tough. And it can be deadly. If you’re a farmer in South Africa. But I am not explaining that. Because you won’t find that in the news either. Because it doesn’t sell. It doesn’t sell if whites are being murdered by blacks. And I’m not talking about that anyway. That is not my story.

I am telling a story about my relationship and the challenges we face. The challenges we face because he loves traveling just as much as I do. The challenges we face because he has a green passport and I don’t.

The challenges we face because I have a German passport, the second strongest passport in the world. And he doesn’t. These challenges are real. And they aren’t simply solved by your voice telling me “why don’t you just get married?”. Marriage doesn’t solve problems. At least it doesn’t solve ours. We won’t get married for a passport. Which he anyway won’t get. A different passport. Just for marrying me.

Traveling together and facing the challenges of it

Our first trip together, outside the country of Namibia, was to Germany. That one was rather easy to organize. A two week holiday. I just had to make an appointment at the embassy. Walk-in with a stack of papers including an invitation letter from my dad saying he will pay for everything my partner will need or do in Germany. Bank statements.

Employers letter saying you are allowed to take this holiday. And that he will still be employed when he comes back. Medical aid for Germany. A full itinerary of his trip to Germany. Stating when he will be where. A five-page long application form. And I think that was it. After waiting for two weeks he could go back to the embassy which is a five-hour drive away from his home and pick up his passport with the visa. Rather simple you might say.

Think about it again.

I have never needed in my life a letter saying that I am allowed to take the holiday I am taking. If I want to go on leave, I ask my boss and if he grants my leave nobody else cares about it.

I have never given my bank statements to anyone. Anyone! Privacy, you know?

I have never planned an itinerary for a holiday beforehand. I just go and make my way through. Except for now. For him.

I have never shown anyone with my travel insurance. Not even when I was in the hospital. I’m privately insured you know. Privileged like that. So I just pay and claim my money back later.

I might have filled out a few visa application sheets, but they never asked for my dad’s birthplace and my mom’s favorite color. Just saying.

But getting back to my story. This trip was easy. We applied for the visa. We got the visa. We traveled together. Had an awesome time. Same as the second trip to Germany. Kind of the same. He got in trouble leaving the country. When we left Germany we spend an hour at the police station next to a drug dealer and a person who had been illegal in Europe for over two years. Working illegally. Guess how he felt? Or me? Because he had overstayed his visa for 12 hours we were in here. Because the airline canceled a flight and moved us back a few hours.

His visa said it was valid for two months. But it also said his itinerary was valid for 11 days. And now it was day number 12. We should have gone to immigration Frankfurt during an 11 day trip in the south of Germany. Because the airline moved our flight. Should have. But we didn’t know better. I thought it wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe silly from our side. However, we made it out of there. Since then he hasn’t been back to Germany. Or Europe. Because he got denied. On different occasions and different locations.

But our next trip was anyway planned to somewhere new. Thailand. I forgot for a moment that I am dating someone with a green passport and I almost forgot to check if he needs a visa for Thailand. He does. And he also has to apply for it in his home country. Five hours away from his home. But the visa application was a bit easier than the one for Germany. The Thai embassy at least didn’t require from him having so much money on his bank statements as the Germans did. He got the visa. We did the trip. We had an awesome time.

Next challenge. He would like to work in Germany for a season. That is obviously more paperwork. Understandable. And there is no guarantee he will get the work visa. Obviously. There never is. But we tried our best. Had a signed work contract. For a set period of time of six months. We had a signed contract for a flat. Medical insurance for him for Germany. Education and work-related certificates. Application for a temporary permit. And about 50 other papers. We still knew he could get the visa rejected. Out of various reasons. But we did not expect what we received then.

Rejection of the visa. Okay, we’re disappointed. But we knew that could happen. Let’s look at the reason and learn from it for the next application.

“We do not grant you the visa because of your nationality.”

Wait, what? Now I started crying. I mean seriously? That is your reason? It is not because he doesn’t have enough money on the bank. It is not because he doesn’t have enough qualifications. It is not because we forgot to send some papers. None of that was the case. Did you deny his visa simply because of his nationality?

Yes, they did. And yes this is unfortunately true. And legal. Germany favors some countries in front of others at visa applications in a combination of their work. Seriously. There is not even something I can do about it. There is not even something he can do better at the next application. Because he simply can’t change his nationality. Great.

Guess it’s the truth. We have to deal with it. And he was less disappointed than I was. Because he knows what it means having a less valuable passport. I don’t.

These are the challenges we are facing by traveling together. The challenges of inequality. Inequality in the value of our passports.

Other travel stories with visa issues

We also had a job offer in Canada. But the employer searched together with me the web of ways of applying for a visa for him. But there is just no program in Canada that allows Namibians to apply for a work visa. So we didn’t even try.

We ended up going back to Thailand. Since we knew he can get a visa for Thailand. We ended up staying for a year. The only problems we had were during the visa runs everyone had to do in Thailand. Which we don’t mind, because we simply combined it with exploring a neighboring country. But then again, every time we wanted to board a plane in order to visit, for example, Malaysia, he was asked a flight back to his home country. Not at immigration, but at the check-in counter.

We were flying from Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur. And we showed the airline our return ticket to Thailand. They didn’t care about that. I had to show them the flight from Thailand to Namibia which was booked for a date six months later. Because I had to be more organized all of a sudden. I had this ticket. Otherwise, the airline would not let him on board. We never had issues with immigration in South East Asia. Only with the airlines.

One lady laughed once when he handed her his passport because she thought it was a fake passport.

Because she never heard about the country of Namibia before. What an insult for him. I felt ashamed.

Because meanwhile, I did not have to show anything. I did not even have a visa back for Thailand. Or one for Malaysia. I did not have a flight back to Germany. Or any other further flight booked. Because, why should I? I am privileged. I have a strong passport. People might not like Germans a lot. But at least we are allowed to travel anywhere. Without showing any funds. And people know where Germany is.

In September we both wanted to visit my parents in Germany and went to the German embassy in Bangkok. I had emailed them beforehand, but I was either not clear enough or they did not understand my situation. He got rejected from handing in his visa application. They would not even look at the application. He has to fly back to Namibia and apply from there. In case you don’t know where Namibia is, go look it up now on the map. On the world map. Set a point to Thailand. One to Namibia and one to Germany. And then look for flights connecting the three. Because that is what they want him to do. Fly from Thailand to Namibia. Apply for a tourist visa for Germany. Wait for the visa and then fly to Germany for 10 days.

Well, thanks for your cooperation. I have to tell you, I lost it in the embassy. I lost my patience. I couldn’t believe how rude the lady was. My partner had to drag me out of there. Because you know, he accepted it. He accepted it, that his passport is less worth than mine because of where he is born. He accepted it a long time ago that he can’t travel to places as I do. I traveled half of Africa without even knowing which country I would go to next. All they asked me for at the borders to see was my vaccination book. They needed to see the stamp that I have a vaccine against yellow fever. Then I got the stamp to enter the next country.

He can’t even travel like that. And he knows that. Because he has to apply for the visa to all these countries from home. And those visas will be only valid for a few months. So he can’t just apply for them all and then travel the world. He can’t. And he knows it. And accepted it. I didn’t. Because I don’t feel like I deserve to travel more than he does. Just because of where I am born. But it is the truth.

Conclusion means separation

And here I am. In Germany. And guess what? He’s not here. I know it’s a pandemic. I know everyone is freaking out. But seriously? He can’t even apply for a visa to Germany. Because Germans don’t let any foreigners in. While I just walked in without anyone measuring my temperature, asking me if I have a cough or if I got in contact with infected people.

I entered the biggest airport in Germany. During a pandemic. Without any health check. Because I am privileged. And this is the second time in my life it happens. I’ve come back from a time in West Africa during the Ebola outbreak. Same scenario at the airport. Nobody cared. Because of the passport I have.

But back to the story. At the moment they don’t let foreigners in. And they don’t even tell us when we can apply for a visa. Just check the homepage daily. They say. It’s frustrating. For me. And for him even more. This uncertainty. Because honestly, he doesn’t see a future for himself in Namibia. Especially after this lockdown. While people are dying all over the world on the virus, people die out of hunger in his home town. Not one person died from the virus in the entire country. Because there is a bigger picture. A bigger picture behind my privilege. And his passport. Like so many other passports.

The bigger picture of being privileged

There is a bigger picture behind you and me being locked in our houses. And their situation of being locked in with nothing. No support from the system. No work. No future.

But I am not here to complain. I am here to tell you my story.

The story of how I learned that I am privileged. Like many others who are reading this now.

The story of how I learned to be grateful for what I have in life. Like a strong passport. And the ability to travel anywhere I want to. Anytime.

The story of how I learned to appreciate the small things in life. Because they are big things for others.

I will fight for his freedom to travel.

And I will not give up. Not for him. And not for all the others. And if he has to drag me out of more embassies. I don’t care. I will fight for his right to freedom. Freedom to travel. The freedom that I have. And he doesn’t.

And I tell you. We will be back together again. Hopefully rather sooner than later. And I will do my best for you to get the papers together. Because I feel like it is my responsibility. Because my country makes it so difficult for you to enter. And my country makes it so easy for me to travel. That is why I see it as my job to deal with it.

To deal with the inequality in our lives. In our lives that we want to spend together. In our lives that we are not allowed to spend together. Because of privileges. And the absence of privileges.

Meanwhile, I also know that it is not just my story. And his story. But that there are millions more who fight the same challenges. Not talking about those who can’t even afford to travel. But talking about those who can, but are not allowed to. Out of various reasons.

Are you one of them? Please tell me about it. Share your story with me. I would love to hear similar stories. Exchange opinions and maybe even advice. Because I love the vibe of this platform. The community. It’s inspiring! It inspires me to become a better version of myself.