avatarAnnelise Lords

Summary

A relationship is tested when one partner's frequent need for forgiveness leads to the other setting an expiry date on their forgiveness, prompting a reflection on the importance of learning from one's mistakes.

Abstract

The narrative unfolds on a beach where a woman, having forgiven her partner numerous times, questions the sustainability of their relationship due to his constant need for forgiveness. She confronts him about the repetitive nature of his apologies, highlighting the burden it places on her. The man is forced to recognize that his actions have consequences, and his failure to learn from his mistakes has led to a situation where forgiveness is no longer unconditional. The story culminates with the woman setting a boundary by indicating that her forgiveness has expired, effectively ending the relationship. The article concludes with a moral reflection on the value of personal growth and accountability in maintaining healthy relationships.

Opinions

  • The author suggests that forgiveness should not be taken for granted and that it may have limits.
  • There is an implication that constant forgiveness without change can become a burden in a relationship.
  • The narrative conveys the idea that learning from one's mistakes is crucial to prevent a relationship from being overloaded with apologies.
  • The woman's perspective indicates that forgiveness without improvement is not sustainable and can lead to the erosion of trust and respect.
  • The article emphasizes personal responsibility and the need for self-improvement to avoid over-reliance on a partner's forgiveness.
  • The story illustrates that an excess of anything, including forgiveness, can be detrimental to a relationship.

When Your Forgiveness Expires

He stared at her for a while then questioned, “so by not learning from my mistakes, I will always be in need of forgiveness?”

Image by Annelise Lords

Because of the heat, I haven’t been able to walk much. Yesterday, I could. I sat watching the birds flying around with their eyes aimed at the sea, waiting for fish to come too close to the surface. It’s how they feed and live.

The words, ‘Please forgive me’ sang from a cellphone nearby, pulling my attention away. To my left a few feet away, a female sat, her mind miles away. The words keep repeating for a while, as she glances in the direction of her handbag to her left.

Then returned her gaze to the sea, nodding.

Minutes later a male voice said, “You aren’t answering your cellphone?”

“There is a reason for that?” she responds, turning to him, to her left.

From the corner of my right eye, I could see them.

“I was just calling to tell you how sorry I am and please, please,” he pleads. “Forgive me.”

Taking something from her bag, along with a pen in hand, she asked, “until when?”

His brows formed a tight knot, and he asked, “say what?”

“You are begging for forgiveness, again. I want to know until when. Tomorrow, next week, the other week, maybe until the end of the month,” she said shrugging her shoulders. “Or maybe until Christmas or New Years Day?”

“Your forgiveness comes with an expiry date?” he questions.

“Devon,” she said easing back to sit comfortably on the concrete backing, “for the three years we have been together, I have to be forgiving you for something every week.”

“I asked for forgiveness fifty-two times per year?” he asked in shock.

“You have maxed out your regular quota because it is September and you have exceeded your monthly amount for the past five months,” she reminds him.

“I know I am not perfect but come on. Neither are you,” he fights back.

“True,” she agrees. “But how many times do I need you to forgive me?”

Silence steps in as she waits for him to answer.

He sighs, then releases, “my life is different from yours.”

“You are right, but I don’t drill you by testing our relationship weekly.”

“How do I do that,” he demands.

“That’s how you always want to be forgiven for something,” she explained. “Last week, you loan our utility bill money to your friend who gambled his rent money.”

“I am sorry.”

“You were forgiven. Two days later you loaned my car to your cousin who returned it without gas and a parking ticket too. Again, you were forgiven,” she reminds him.

“Dammit!” slid from the guilt stored in his heart.

“The next day you gave. . . . . .”

“I get it!” he called out. “I am stupid.”

“Some people call it kind,” she suggested.

“So that’s why you keep forgiving me?” he asked smiling.

“Until it becomes a burden,” she answered.

“Are you saying that you are running out of forgiveness?” he wondered, as fear and shock spread across his face.

“You know in our culture, we often say, ‘too much of one thing is good for nothing,” she informs him.

“So too much forgiveness is not good?”

“For me it’s not.”

“Why not?”

“Well,” she elaborates, smiling. “I am the one always giving it. That tells me that you aren’t learning anything from life or your mistakes. And that’s because I always forgive you.”

He stared at her for a while then questioned, “so by not learning from my mistakes, I will always be in need of forgiveness?”

“Like the body needs water!” She answered taking up her bag, then handed him a paper.

He examines it. It was a receipt, that said, “Forgiveness expires yesterday.”

“Good-bye Devon,” she bade walking away.

His eyes followed her as she walked away from his life.

I too, had people in my life that need forgiveness like our bodies need water. Life showed me that if you learn from your mistakes, you don’t need to go around seeking forgiveness. Please, don’t allow your loved one to give your forgiveness an expiry date.

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