avatarG Correia

Summary

The web content discusses the experiences of a Black man navigating daily life in America, where his actions are often met with suspicion and prejudice, necessitating the development of survival strategies to cope with racial microaggressions and the threat of being profiled.

Abstract

The article delves into the personal experiences of a Black man in America, highlighting the persistent suspicion and prejudice he faces in various settings. He recounts the need to be hyper-vigilant and adopt specific survival techniques, such as choosing seating with a clear view of exits and declining to hold his wife's purse in public, to mitigate the risk of being targeted by racial profiling. The narrative underscores the emotional toll of constant microaggressions, the stress of being perceived as a threat, and the impact on interracial relationships. The author emphasizes the exhaustive nature of always being "on guard" in a society that often views Black individuals with hostility and fear.

Opinions

  • The author feels that being Black in America means every action is scrutinized and can be misinterpreted, leading to potential danger or conflict.
  • He expresses that even mundane tasks, like holding a partner's purse, can be fraught with racial implications and the risk of reinforcing negative stereotypes.
  • The article suggests that the white community often fails to understand the lived experiences and anxieties of Black individuals in predominantly white spaces.
  • The author conveys a sense of resignation and fatigue from the continuous need to navigate and deflect racial prejudice in both public and private spheres.
  • He implies that societal racism and white supremacy create an environment where Black people must constantly strategize to avoid confrontation and harm.
  • The piece reflects on the dehumanizing effect of microaggressions and the psychological burden of living under the threat of racism.
  • The author criticizes the societal agendas that perpetuate racial oppression and the limitations imposed by the ignorance and stupidity of others, quoting Dr. Mae Jemison and Martin Luther King Jr. to underscore the struggle for equality.

When You Are Black in America, Every Action Is Met With Suspicion

Agendas can suck you in without your permission leaving you at the mercy of those looking to exercise their privilege or perceived control.

Photo by James Ree on Unsplash

Having experienced the heat of someone’s racist agitation and egregious reaction, I know not to put myself in situations that could potentially turn ugly leaving me at a disadvantage.

This calculated strategy, imagined in my younger days, has since been justified by the numerous interactions I’ve had with many in the white community.

Over time I’ve had to perfect certain survival techniques in order to navigate the white space I live in. When at a function or in a group setting, a wedding, or a restaurant, for instance… I seek out a seat (always with my back against the wall) with the best vantage point of the front entrance — this allows me to see everyone who approaches and to know the quickest way out.

Always know where your exits are.

My wife often comments about this behavior but admittedly she does not understand nor can relate to what it’s like to be Black in a white space.

This is not deep-seated paranoia I assure you, it’s compiled experiences over time living in an environment where I’ve encountered countless microaggressions and calculated prejudice.

You won’t go to jail, I just need a tissue

Many men (and women) can relate to what it’s like to guard their significant other’s handbag for a moment while out. Asked to be on “purse patrol” is a task no one wants.

Aside from the humiliation of being designated to the “Watch Command” as your boo gallivants off to shop, if you are Black, fulfilling this simple request can be a potential “open door” for those who love to profile, or worse.

Why invite the hassle? No thanks, I’ll pass.

The visual is what matters here, not my seemingly disrespectful reluctance to be of help. It’s bad enough receiving an abundance of side-eyes when out with my wife (who is white) but add to this the optics of a 6’4” Black man digging into the purse of a small white woman — you can imagine what goes through the minds of those who look through a lens of prejudice.

Sure, it’s no one’s business what I do or with whom I interact, however, this does not stop people from inserting themselves into my Black business. The stares, the sneers, the judgmental referencing — all expected microaggressions that come with being part of an interracial couple.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. — Martin Luther King Jr.

Even in the comfort of home, the feeling of being put in a compromising position such as reaching into a purse stays with you. If asked by my wife to retrieve something from her purse, I respectively decline.

The action of doing so ignites a feeling within me of being perceived as committing a crime. This is so ingrained that it’s a challenge to rationalize and find solace in knowing I’m in a safe place and free from being judged or profiled.

I pride myself on being the best husband possible and do what I can to make my wife feel she is loved every day. The reality is that anyone can succumb to the trappings of relationship pressure and find themselves in the occasional dust-up, even in public. That’s life. That’s being a couple.

When, what should be private exchanges do transpire in public that anxiety monster can rear its ugly head, once again. Typically I take the less firm approach to my position and gift her the win as a way to avoid any potential intervention by a “white savior” — eager to accuse me of being the threatening Black man they so often fantasize in their racist nightmares.

I try to calm the waters but this can only go so far.

Not drawing attention to one’s self is about getting through each instance without being targeted, or harassed especially if interacting with many from the white community. This is another tactic formed long ago when dealing with certain folks in the wild.

It’s survival really.

On many occasions, I’ve had to explain to some in the majority why Black people get anxiety when engaging in public with their white counterparts.

This uneasiness is something to be mindful of as it could, and has, lead to heightened mental stress. The constant feeling of being “on guard” can have a crippling effect on you when trying to navigate the landscape of white supremacy.

This of course is that embedded reluctance to engage with those who might want to oppress you in some manner. Exploit you, or even harm you just for being Black.

No doubt if you are a person of color you have experienced your fair share of microaggressions galore. Being Black in a white space — these are frequent occurrences.

There aren’t enough words to describe the number of times I’ve witnessed women clutching their purses while in my presence (not my wife), watched people move away when I come close or experienced those expecting me to be an aggressor. Seeing someone’s defensiveness bloom before a word is uttered or a greeting is offered, is something to behold.

Is he bothering you?

This may sound ridiculous but when walking with someone who is white I always make it a point to not lag behind. In the past, I have been accused of “following” the person I was with simply because either I fell behind or stopped for some legitimate reason.

While out for a walk one day with a friend, I stopped to tie my kicks and while doing so, a car rolled up and the driver, while looking back at me, asked my white female friend if she was alright — if she needed help. She was confused at the inquiry though I wasn’t. I knew exactly what was happening.

Once I caught up with her, my friend waved off the driver who reluctantly drove away — not before “n****r lover” and other derogatory words were hurled from the driver’s side window.

Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations. — Dr. Mae Jemison

Each day outside is another opportunity to experience what an oppressive society has to throw at you.

Here is the thing about living in a country that wants nothing to do with you… try as you might to avoid the ire of many; their agenda seeks you out, judges your every move and does what it can to objectify you. You never ask for this nor would you welcome such a bastardizing of your rights. It zeroes in on you uninvited.

The amount of meticulous caution taken to make sure you get through the day without experiencing a microaggression, ultimately means nothing.

No matter how much you mind your business, if you are Black in America there will always be someone who will do whatever is in their power to keep you down (literally and figuratively).

Though I encourage my wife to leave her purse behind and utilize those pockets she so often references as the best parts of her outfit, she still clings to the idea of needing an old-school handbag to smuggle her belongings.

As long as she continues to rely on such a “functional” accessory, she’ll have to make do with getting her own gum without the benefit of my assistance.

I have no desire to be tackled or arrested for handing someone a piece of Sugar-Free Wintergreen.

Thank you for reading!

Follow me on Twitter: @gcorreiawrites

Racism
BlackLivesMatter
Discrimination
Interracial Relationships
Illumination
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