When Will it Ever Be Enough?

Are your achievements leaving you feeling unfulfilled?

Have you ever thought back to the simpler times? Whether it be back to when you were a kid and had no responsibilities or back when you just graduated and lived on cup noodles for dinner just to get by.

Fast forward a decade later, you check off all the milestones you were ‘supposed’ to achieve — get married, buy a house, have a baby and somehow it feels like your goals just keep getting bigger and bigger.

Along with those big goals, come more responsibilities and stress that it forces you to reminisce on the simpler times and question: when will it ever be enough?

It’s natural to desire more out of life. I don’t discourage it at all. Dream big and when you achieve that dream, make another one. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. But how do you balance wanting more out of life with the constant dissatisfaction that comes with wanting more and more and more?

When You Stop Giving Your Power to Others — It Will Be Enough

The feeling of never having enough usually stems from comparison. This is why it’s important to create goals for yourself and not for others.

Are you getting in shape to look good for others or for yourself?

When you don’t do things for yourself, you continue to look for validation in others. Your roadmap is dependent on what others think, what others say, and what others are doing. You are essentially giving others the power to make you feel like you’re not enough.

Social media and our ability to be so transparent with our lives strengthen the comparison game. We now have something to measure up against.

If people on your social media are constantly traveling, you now question why you aren’t. So now you set a goal of wanting to travel more to experience the same things others are experiencing. But was this part of your original goal? Or did you take a detour to try and keep up with everyone else?

Focus on staying in your lane. It might not be the scenic drive you see everyone else driving but it is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

When you accept the path you’re on and stop letting others steer the direction of your life, you will realize where you are is enough.

When You Get Real on What Actually Matters — It Will Be Enough

There are profound benefits with self-reflection. It takes willpower to tune out the noise and listen to your inner voice.

When you’ve been accustomed to constantly relying on the opinion of everyone but your own, it might be harder to determine what your inner voice is trying to say.

Journaling is a way to help you discover your truth. You are in the safety of a blank page and are free to express your truest thoughts and desires.

Another way to listen to your inner voice is to slow down. Being busy is glorified in our society. When your day is filled with tasks and appointments, you don’t get the opportunity to create a space to listen to your own thoughts.

Take the time to establish a strong relationship with yourself. Get to know what your values are, what is important to you, and what you want your life to be like. Once you get real on what actually matters, you are less swayed by the influence of others. You know who you are and that you are enough.

When You Let Go of Expectations — It Will Be Enough

Expectations can be a good fuel to our goals. It gives us an idea of where we want to be and motivate us towards that direction. While it is easier to create expectations, it is healthier to approach your goals through manifestation.

Manifestation is transforming your goals from an idea to reality through the law of attraction.

In Lisa Marie Rankin’s article, How to Get What You Really Want, she urges you to ask yourself,

“What do I desire? Who is the type of person who has what I want? What do I need to do to evolve into that person?”

This reason it’s important to find the answers to those questions is because, if you are not ready to be that person then when you achieve your goal, it leaves you feeling unfulfilled. There are countless stories of women finally finding their partner only to realize they are not ready to be in that relationship.

Often, we get a job with the expectation of eventually buying a house. Or we work out with the expectation of eventually attracting the love of our life.

Lisa Marie Rankin breaks down the pattern as “Do. Have. Be.” We do what we need to achieve our goal, we obtain our goal and then we become that goal. So with the first example it would be: Study-Job-Homeowner.

What happens when we achieve our goal and we are crushed because our reality does not align with our expectations? We are supposed to be happy now, we have a big house but all we are is stressed with more bills and more stuff. We then ask the question: When will it ever be enough?

By changing the pattern to “Be. Do. Have” you let go of expectations on how the events of your life is supposed to unfold. Instead, you work on being ready for the dreams you put out to the universe.

Focusing your energy inwards prepares you to take on your achievement with confidence. It sets you up for success so when you finally reach that goal, you feel it’s enough.

When You Practice Gratitude — It Will Be Enough

I’ve been guilty of starting my day with the ‘not enough’ mindset. One of the questions my husband would ask me first thing in the morning was, ‘how was your sleep?’ Can you guess what my response was? – Not enough.

To be fair, I have a baby who doesn’t sleep through the night yet so I am up two to three times each night. But I noticed the negative impact of starting my day with focusing on what was lacking rather than what was in abundance. So instead, I told him that my sleep will probably not be great for a while so I suggest he stop asking.

Alternatively, we changed the question to ‘What are you grateful for this morning?’ My approach to the mornings became a more positive experience. I am grateful to have our little boys to wake up to, I am grateful for my morning coffee, I am grateful for another day.

Danielle Monique explains the effect of gratitude in her article, The Mindset You Can Adopt to Feel More Joy.

“Also, gratitude is the best way to joy and abundance. It’s a cycle of energy you can believe or not, but accepting there’s a force beyond you that reciprocates your energy will equip you with tremendous power.”

Practicing gratitude allows you to take inventory of all the good things in your life. It could be as simple as the cute socks you’re wearing or the colour of the morning sky. When you acknowledge the fullness of your life you will realize you have enough.

As I conquer one goal, I am always humbled by where I started from. If everything were to get taken away and life puts me back to the days of a dollar cup noodles for dinner, I will remind myself that this is enough.

I will practice gratitude.

I will let go of expectations.

I will focus on what really matters.

I will stop seeking validation from others.

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