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Abstract

i></p><p id="dfda" type="7">The attitude of living in the moment can propel many of us to do things we wouldn’t ordinarily do.</p><p id="b704">Thinking that you should just go ahead and act upon the thing that you know may very well have dire consequences because you might die tomorrow doesn’t seem so bad when you put yourself into that fatalistic mindset.</p><p id="bb45">Unfortunately <i>and</i> obviously, living in the moment in regards to an affair isn’t always conducive to long-term monogamous relationships, marriages, and/or raising a family.</p><p id="6bb9">When we commit to a partner in a monogamous relationship, we give up some of our <i>carpe diem</i> potential. Yes, it may not be as exciting to be in a monogamous relationship or marriage — but this is what day-to-day life is often like.</p><p id="b21f">We may have fantasies about shedding our lives and inhibitions like the characters in film and television do but, for the most part, these scenarios don’t play out well in the real world and people often get hurt — badly.</p><p id="51d1" type="7">Letting exhilerating opportunities go because we have more mundane responsibilities is a part of life for most of us.</p><p id="8264">I think the best way to compromise on staying true to your committed relationships while <i>really</i> living in the moment is, in fact, taking stock of every moment <b><i>within the life you’ve already got.</i></b></p><p id="83f3">Appreciating what you already have, whether it be a compatible significant other, a wonderful family, a fulfilling job, etc., can be a form of living in the moment that doesn’t involve extreme actions that you may regret later.</p><p id="13fb">I often think about my own decisions — the ones I made<i> in the moment </i>with little regard to the consequences — and I realize that even though those choices brought me intense thrill and excitement at that particular moment, they also brought me (<i>and others)</i> a lot of pain and sorrow.</p><p id="6d2c">Living in the moment doesn’t have to mean making destructive choices that ripple through the lives of others around you. It can also mean being grateful for the people and things you’ve already got.</p><p id="817a">If you’re interested in becoming a Medium member for $5 a month, join through my referral link <a href="https://michelleponders.medium.com/membership"><b>here</b></a> & I’ll take a cut of the profits! Thank you!</p><p id="96c8">Otherwise, you can support me over at my <a href="https://ko-fi.com/michelleb

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rown"><b>ko-fi</b></a><b> </b>with a quick tip or a monthly contribution of your choosing.</p><p id="d0cc"><b><i>More…</i></b></p><div id="b8b1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/this-is-what-my-husband-has-done-to-me-793553b7cf09"> <div> <div> <h2>My Husband Has Changed Me In Unexpected Ways</h2> <div><h3>Irrevocably.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*aWtfRyWGP6B3BfIMcat8jw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="3f6d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-being-a-mistress-changed-my-perception-of-marriage-510865415782"> <div> <div> <h2>How Being A Mistress Changed My Perception of Marriage</h2> <div><h3>It Changed Everything.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*hqMg0uq3P6tiXoF4LnvSGw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="05c9" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-do-you-consider-to-be-sexually-kinky-5ba2c0a09e80"> <div> <div> <h2>What Do You Consider ‘Kinky’ Sex?</h2> <div><h3>Kink can be relative.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*s3RxQkyLDFKloSR96dzqNQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="30e2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-things-my-partner-doesnt-know-about-me-90ee0867214a"> <div> <div> <h2>The Things My Partner Doesn’t Know About Me</h2> <div><h3>Some things just can’t be known.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Yo_ROgHLEZfwNqPwERlHwg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

When People Have Affairs, It Isn’t Always About Sex

The way we make decisions matters.

‘Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.’ — Omar Khayyam.

Have you ever heard or read the above quote before?

The first time I was exposed to this quote was in the 2002 movie, ‘Unfaithful.’ The movie depicted a housewife gone mad for a younger man who seduces her away from her husband and young son until she becomes completely obsessed with him at the expense of all else.

I loved this movie for its stunningly uninhibited portrayal of a woman torn between her loyal and handsome husband and her much younger, sexually adventurous lover.

In the movie, the wife’s lover uses the above quote (among other wiles) to charm the wife into sleeping with him for the very first time. As he recites the quote to her, the sly implication to the wife is that she should throw all abandon to the wind and make love with him because, of course, this moment is your life.

I started thinking about how the idea of living in the moment can influence people to convince themselves that their actions are okay because life is short and living in the moment is what it’s all about — even at the expense of others.

These kinds of decisions aren’t necessarily made with malicious intent but they are often made in the name of ‘carpe diem’ or ‘seizing the day.’

‘Seizing the day’ could very well mean seizing a lover — and an affair — for some people.

I realized that when people have affairs, it isn’t always about sex. YES — sex is a massive influence in many affairs, but there could also be the added idea that you only live once (YOLO) and you’ve got to seize the day before you’re dead and gone.

Additionally, the risk of having an affair can potentially make a person feel as though they’re living on the edge or even make them feel more alive.

An affair harbored under the influence of living in the moment isn’t necessarily wrong — it’s kismet. It’s grabbing ahold of destiny. It’s existing in the moment you’re in — without hesitation or guilt.

The attitude of living in the moment can propel many of us to do things we wouldn’t ordinarily do.

Thinking that you should just go ahead and act upon the thing that you know may very well have dire consequences because you might die tomorrow doesn’t seem so bad when you put yourself into that fatalistic mindset.

Unfortunately and obviously, living in the moment in regards to an affair isn’t always conducive to long-term monogamous relationships, marriages, and/or raising a family.

When we commit to a partner in a monogamous relationship, we give up some of our carpe diem potential. Yes, it may not be as exciting to be in a monogamous relationship or marriage — but this is what day-to-day life is often like.

We may have fantasies about shedding our lives and inhibitions like the characters in film and television do but, for the most part, these scenarios don’t play out well in the real world and people often get hurt — badly.

Letting exhilerating opportunities go because we have more mundane responsibilities is a part of life for most of us.

I think the best way to compromise on staying true to your committed relationships while really living in the moment is, in fact, taking stock of every moment within the life you’ve already got.

Appreciating what you already have, whether it be a compatible significant other, a wonderful family, a fulfilling job, etc., can be a form of living in the moment that doesn’t involve extreme actions that you may regret later.

I often think about my own decisions — the ones I made in the moment with little regard to the consequences — and I realize that even though those choices brought me intense thrill and excitement at that particular moment, they also brought me (and others) a lot of pain and sorrow.

Living in the moment doesn’t have to mean making destructive choices that ripple through the lives of others around you. It can also mean being grateful for the people and things you’ve already got.

If you’re interested in becoming a Medium member for $5 a month, join through my referral link here & I’ll take a cut of the profits! Thank you!

Otherwise, you can support me over at my ko-fi with a quick tip or a monthly contribution of your choosing.