Parenting/Self-Improvement
When Parenthood Doesn’t Turn Out Like You Envisioned it— Take Comfort in This
You know who you are.
A funny thing happened to many of us when we became parents for the first time after envisioning our perfect parenting scenarios and knowing exactly what we’d never do.
We had children.
Maybe you’re that parent who once said “I’ll never feed my kids fast food,” or, “I’ll never yell at my kids.”
Yes. You know who you are.
There are many of us out here raising children who said a lot of things about what we’d never do.
I have a tip for any new parents or parents-to-be. Never, never, ever say never.
Once you have your own child or children, the ideas about parenting that you once harbored in your mind become a startling reality that crashes all your best-laid plans. Mind you, there are parents out there who follow through with exactly what they said they wanted for their children. Kudos! (But I’m not talking about those parents right now.)
Right now I’m talking about that time you said you would never feed McDonald’s to your precious little darling(s) — especially the chicken nuggets! But then — wait for it — you did. It was a rough day, there was a meltdown, you were exhausted, and that drive-thru was the only lighted beacon at the end of your tunnel of hell.
You gave in and your child devoured that greasy crap — loving it all the way.
Oh well. Better luck next time.
Then there was the oath you took in the bathroom mirror that you would never yell or scream at your child. When you were single or childless you witnessed enough moms and dads in Walmart or Target completely going off on their children and you swore that would never be you. How could they have such little self-control? Why did they even have kids if all they were going to do was yell at them?
Then you had a child and the time to lose your mind in a store in front of strangers came without mercy.
It’s okay. It happens to all parents at one time or another — even those “perfect parents” who seem to have it all together.
Really.
From what I have concluded, the best part of parents saying they’ll never do certain things is that you can be one hundred percent sure good intentions are behind it.
We all want to do things better. Better than our parents, better than the impatient, angry mom you rolled your eyes at in the grocery store, and better than what might even be humanly possible.
Being a patient, empathetic, gentle guide to your child is tough. It takes a tremendous amount of energy and effort. Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail miserably.
Wanting your child to be healthy by eating vegetables or organic food is an admirable goal. But it doesn’t always work out the way you would like it to.
Sometimes kids eat crap. Sometimes you just can’t control everything they put in their mouths. Sometimes you’re just too damn busy or it’s not convenient to prepare a healthy meal. It happens. The point is you care enough to be conscious of what they’re eating in the first place, even if you fail at times.
There are many things I said I would never do that I ended up doing with my child. Fast food and yelling are just a couple of the struggles I still face today. But I’m working on it.
That’s what matters.
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