When Life Su*ks, Do You Search for “03 Ways to Fix Your Life” on Google?

I don’t know, but listicle is not my cup of tea

While surfing on a so-called ‘successful’ writer’s profile on Medium, I noticed a weird trend that made me think: really? this is how you do it?

All the titles of her articles are like the following:

9 simple ways… 8 things I learned… 6 things people… 7 painless ways… 9 quotes by… 10 powerful questions… 3 skills you… 5 principles to…, and so on.

I’ve seen the same trend in so many Medium writers’ profiles. I could bore you with all those titles but let’s stop here.

Now you tell me — how many listicles do you need to improve your life? How many 01 things, 02 things, 03 things do you need to swallow to become a better human being?

When life fu*ks you, do you search for ‘3 ways to fix your life’ on Google?

I don’t know you, but listicle is not my cup of tea. And in this article I’m going to tell you why I think it’s a bad idea for any writer to continuously produce that sh*t.

The problems with listicles

Does writing listicles make anyone a better writer? My confident answer to that question is NO. It only helps people to earn some quick money.

But the listicle-writers preach that they are creating value for their fu*king readers. And the sh*ts go on.

As they earn better, they become the writing-guru on Medium. When newbies join the platform and saw those most-clapped listicles, they start copying the same method for making quick-bucks.

If these listicles possess so-called ‘value for the readers’, I would better live a life without those values.

Well, I do write listicles too, based on my personal experiences and sometimes, depending on available research works. But I do that only when I fall victim to writer’s block.

When I write such sh*ts, my rational mind says, this is not you, and listicle is not your mainstream writing, it’s just a stopgap.

I write what I believe based on my life experiences, knowledge, and rational thinking. I write about what bothers me, excites me, — made me awake at night thinking — what the fu*k is going on?

To me, writing listicles one after another makes no sense.

Again, if you are the ones who need some quick-bucks on Medium or anywhere else, I am not talking about you.

You can be a listicle-writing-expert, and I am okay with that. But please stop considering you as a successful writer.

Your monthly medium-earnings cannot be the ultimate proof of your writing genius, as we cannot judge American people only seeing their President, Donald Trump.

When you write ‘ 10 signs your life is okay as it is’ on Monday and then the next day you produce ‘03 ways to fix your life’ — of course, it bothers me.

Listicle-writers tend to believe that they are the ultimate problem-solvers of the world. But the truth is — no one can solve all the problems we encounter in life, no matter how wise a person you are.

When anyone claims to solve all the problems with 05, 10, or 20-things listicles, trust me — they are faking it.

Writing listicles is easy — here is the most common format.

Believe it or not — the most popular listicles on Medium have almost the same format.

Keep your eyes open while reading the listicles from so-called successful writers. I guarantee you will find the same format again and again. It goes like the following:

1. First, it starts with the writer’s personal problem/story

The writer, at some point in life, got frustrated with something. Maybe he/she lost the motivation to work, or had a bad relationship, or else. Eventually, the writer’s life turned into a nightmare, and he/she was searching for a solution.

As a listicle reader, you will be hooked by the problem and try to compare it with your life.

2. Then, the ‘eureka-moment’ when the writer experienced an epiphany

The writer thought this terrible problem must stop. He/she started reading books, watching videos, devouring podcasts. But alas! none of them worked.

Then, one day, the eureka-moment came. And the writer realized that he/she must embrace the 5 or 10 things in life.

3. Adding some relevant quotes.

Oh, dumb people love quotes. The more you give them, the more they want. Dumb readers are the ultimate quote-sucker. They always seek validation for their thoughts and status from the minds of the past.

I am repeating one more time.

Dumb people love reading quotes, and clever writers use quotes to hook them. But only the true geniuses unknowingly create quotes by themselves. They don’t bother if their thoughts go against the world or not.

The listicle-writer uses a lot of quotes (possibly in every section) in every article to keep the readers engaged.

4. The main discussion: 05rules, 10ways, 20principles, etc.

In this part, the writer explains 05, 10, or 20 rules-ways-principles with some personal touch (made up or original — I don’t know).

In every section, the writer uses quotes to validify his/her points.

5. The final part — the takeaways/summary.

Listicle-readers love this part as they are some aliens who have no time to read and think deep — but need some quick-bits to change their fu*ked-up lives.

In this part, the writer summarizes the whole text in a few sentences to give a snippet to the dumb readers. But I have seen many takeaways so descriptive that anyone can consider it as a standalone post.

Why I am against making listicles a mainstream writing

It limits your thinking capability.

Yes, you may say that writing listicles takes too much effort with all those researching, structuring, finding suitable quotes, and all. But don’t you see that you are surrounding the same circle again and again?

Writing listicles is boring

Writing listicles one after another is a boring job. I pity the writers who do it on a regular basis.

Maybe, their biggest fear is — if they do not include 05, 10, 15, 20, or any numbers in their titles, their dumb readers may not give a sh*t.

It’s very evident that listicle-writers only care about money in the disguise of creating values.

It kills your writing potentials

Writing listicles kills your potentials as a writer and eventually makes you a bad one. It is a silent killer of your literary dreams.

You may disagree, saying that those articles earn a lot of money, people interview the writers on YouTube, they get curated thousands of times having millions of followers.

If the whole world tries to portray a wrong thing right, I will stand alone and say — this is fucking sh*t — this is wrong.

Your become just-another-writer

You become stagnant writing listicles continually. Diversity is one of the keys that open the creative door for a writer. By writing listicles one after another, you are losing your creativity.

Yes, a billion people may read your ’05 ways to change …’, giving you a million-dollar, but thus, you do not grow. You only become just-another-writer.

Remember, a better writer does not equate success with money. Of course, he/she can earn tons of money by writing, but it cannot dictate his/her writing potentials. Money cannot be the central motivation for any writer.

When you write a masterpiece, putting your heart and soul in it, you feel the joy and happiness that no billion-dollar can give you.

I highly doubt that writing listicles give any writer this tremendous feeling of contentment.

Final thoughts

If you call yourself a writer, you must forsake the habit of writing tons of listicles. You may write one or two only when you fall victim to writer’s block, not more than that.

Let’s write about the world we see, the events we undergo, the journey we take, the people we meet, the incidents we witness, and all.

But for god sake, please don’t turn all those incredible stories into a few boring listicles.

Happy writing!

If you want to read more of my mind-effing articles, the following one can be a good start.