avatarLiu Xing

Summary

The article emphasizes maintaining control over one's manners, words, and actions as a means to cope when life becomes challenging.

Abstract

In the face of life's difficulties, the article advises focusing on aspects within one's control, such as manners, words, and actions. It suggests that despite feeling overwhelmed, maintaining self-control in interactions with others, being mindful of one's speech, and regulating physical responses can prevent the situation from worsening. The author acknowledges common negative thoughts during tough times, such as feeling like a failure or believing that nothing is going right, but encourages readers to practice self-control and positivity to navigate through these periods. Techniques like the 5–5–5 method are recommended to gauge the long-term significance of current stressors and to reduce unnecessary worry.

Opinions

  • The author believes that taking out frustration on others is unacceptable, regardless of one's emotional state.
  • Negative self-talk and complaining are viewed as unproductive behaviors that do not improve the situation.
  • The article promotes the idea that individuals have complete control over their actions and should not let emotions dictate their behavior.
  • Positive affirmations and self-reflection, such as using the 5–5–5 method, are considered effective strategies for managing stress and maintaining perspective.
  • The author implies that while life's challenges are inevitable, personal conduct, communication, and actions are within an individual's power to change or manage.

When Life Get’s Tough, Here Are 3 Things You Can Control

I know the feeling, and it sucks

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

Sometimes, it feels like life is spinning out of control.

We’ve probably all experienced it, to different degrees. All I want to do is sleep and let all my problems disappear. I start to think:

  • Nothing’s going right
  • I’m horrible at everything
  • Everyone hates me
  • I’ll never succeed at anything

All these thoughts and feelings weigh us down. But we don’t need to despair. Not all is lost. Focus on the small things you can control.

1. Your manners

When I feel agitated, I tend to take out my frustration on my friends, family, and random strangers.

I used to snap at people, roll my eyes and even blatantly ignore the people who have supported me through thick and thin.

I let my emotions get in the way of being a decent human being.

No matter how upset you are, don’t take it out on others, no matter how much you think they ‘deserve it’.

Self-control is key.

2. Your words

Whether you’re talking to yourself or others, you have control over your mouth. Don’t regret what comes out of it.

It’s easy to get all fired up in the moment and start yelling or complaining.

Just remember, it’s all probably a waste of time. Does yelling at yourself, or other people make the situation better? Does telling yourself that ‘you suck’, help you improve?

Probably not.

Take deep breaths. Close your eyes, and have a moment of quiet. I always like to use the 5–5–5 method:

  • Will this matter in 5 minutes?
  • Will this matter in 5 months?
  • Will this matter in 5 years?

And if it doesn’t matter in 5 years, you should probably stop worrying, or complaining. Even if it does, is all this even helping?

Say positive things, it does wonders for you. Things are never as bad as they seem.

3. Your actions

As children, we would punch and kick when we got upset. That’s because we had little self-control and self-regulation.

When we grow older, we ought to be able to control ourselves better.

You have control, complete control, over everything your body does. Don’t let your emotions take control.

Calm yourself down.

Acting in the heat of the moment is a recipe for regret and disaster later on.

I hope you found this article insightful. Thanks for reading!

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Life
Resilience
Life Lessons
Self
Mindfulness
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