When I Allowed Hatred & Cruelty To Reach My Heart!
Why do I allow my heart to speak?
This is my heart before I allow hatred and cruelty in!
I was asked, “Why did you decide to let your heart speak?”
Born with a generous heart, kindness was an involuntary action for me. I didn’t know how else to be. I love giving and sharing and I want it. So, I gave it to everyone without a thought. For more than fifty years, my generosity was mistaken for stupidity by most of the people in my life. I stored all their cruelty, thoughtlessness, and pain in my heart. For some reason, their actions didn’t taint or hurt my heart or my life.
So, I went on being good to the same people who kept cheating, lying, and scheming me for years. My life kept improving as I added kindness to our world. Theirs didn’t and I would often motivate, uplift, and encourage, them while offering money, along with positive advice, suggestions, and options as they complained to me about the things life and others did to them.
The year 2022 was a difficult one for me. The thoughtlessness of the humans in my life hit me six-fold. The morning after, I woke up with my heart aching.
This is my heart when hatred first touched it!
I couldn’t understand how they could be so heartless to me. For the first time in my life, I wanted revenge. That thought increased the agony my heart was already sharing. I felt as if a truck drove through my heart. See the tire tracks. In fear I locked it, leaving the key inside.
The pain found a way to enter. Fighting the turmoil, I planned my revenge and my torment doubled.
Every negative thought entered my locked heart, and the pain tripled.
For the next two days, I stopped living, but the pain increased with each negative thought or idea that entered my brain. I have never experienced this level of misery in my life. My heart hurt and I wasn’t having a heart attack.
My survival instincts suggested, ‘let your heart speak.’ You allow hatred and cruelty to enter your heart. Silence will allow them to stay and destroy you.
After years of storing and ignoring the cruelty of humanity, my silence allows it to stick and grow. Now it managed to reach inside and touch my heart.
I didn’t like how I felt. Remaining silent I allowed hatred to infiltrate my heart and I now wanted to hurt the ones who hurt me.
I became someone I didn’t like. I became cruel with hatred in my heart. I felt as if my body was on fire, and I felt all of the pain as it spread all over my body. I didn’t know hate hurts. I wasn’t aware that resenting others would hurt me too.
I had a choice.
I go deep within myself for the best solution.
I have seen the consequences and the rewards of kindness and cruelty, love and hatred played out in the lives of many people I know.
Life gave me the answer, along with two choices.
I could rid my heart of hatred, live, and be happy. Or I could hold on to it and allow it to destroy me from within.
As a very shy introvert, speaking out wasn’t easy. But #Iintend2survive so I must find a healthy way to release the pain and heal myself.
I began to allow my heart to speak.
The more I speak, the less pain I feel.
And I no longer wanted revenge. Speaking made me realize that I need to keep my kindness account active because silence will threaten to close it.
Because life, kindness, hatred, and cruelty pay us back like a weekly or monthly salary without prejudice. For every bad and good we do, it’s calculated like our hourly paycheck and sent back to us in many ways.
I am aware that balance needs to be played, but my life is the way it is because hatred and cruelty never had to pay me back. And it was a good one until I allowed cruelty to reach my heart.
Allowing my heart to speak, I can heal and close the door to anything that poses a threat to my sanity and life. Life has weird ways of teaching us to be stronger.
Whatever you do, don’t allow HATRED to win. Don’t let cruelty, thoughtlessness, and all of the negative actions that can ruin a good heart, in.
LET YOUR HEART SPEAK! But with Positive words, actions, choices, and decisions With silence, we allow everything negative to win. But speaking will allow healing to begin.
LET EVERY HEART SPEAK!
This Journal has more than forty hearts, and reasons to let your heart speak. This journal is available for sale on Amazon.
Enjoy more inspiration from DEP.
Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoy it and will savor more from some talented writers on this platform, whose links are below.
Taste more from Obinna Uruakpa
Feast on more from Alize Henry
Savor more from Velvetstar64
