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Abstract

e:fit:800/0*JvROF_PXuFkxp7uz"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@benwhitephotography?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Ben White</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="7a79">Do men have to continue to endure a bad relationship because of some sense of obligation? Is all that toxicity even healthy? Or worth it?</p><p id="9ef9">According to him one of the most annoying things is that her preferences always have to take precedence. She is never willing to make compromises as any responsible, equally invested partner in a relationship should be willing to do. Whenever he tries to take a contrary stand on any issue that is always her cue to engage in ridiculously childish antics to get her way.</p><p id="24d3">Childishness that he used to think was cute but is now so annoying it is exhausting.</p><p id="bc78">On top of all that my guy gets gaslighted all the time. At least it seems like all the time going by the frequency of the incidents he relates to me. Here again, I never tell him I think he’s being gaslighted. I always have to rack my brain just to find the most benign stuff to say. Frankly, she’s beginning to annoy me also.</p><p id="3345" type="7">“My philosophy when it comes to relationships is, if there is any chance to make it work, no matter how remote, couples should give it a try.”</p><h2 id="2095">Giving friends relationship advice can be tricky</h2><p id="cf10">If there is one thing I have learned about giving relationship advice it's: you have to tread very, very carefully because you are never getting the full picture just talking to one partner.</p><p id="6944">I am not saying a partner is being deliberately deceitful but he or she is relaying to you the facts as they see them or understand them, and they often tend to confuse opinions with facts.</p><p id="74e5">As a matter of fact, you can talk to both partners and still not get the full picture. I don’t know how relationship counselors manage to guide couples through resolving feelings of conflict, frustration, lack of fulfillment, hurt, or annoyance day in, day out but big ups to them.</p><p id="ff9f" type="7">“I never tell him I think he’s being gaslighted. I always have to rack my brain just to find the most benign stuff to say. Frankly, she’s beginning to annoy me.”</p><h2 id="489f">One thing is sure</h2><p id="c438">All I know is, to sustain a solid relationship there must be compromises and adjustments. When one partner cares only for herself and will resort to all forms of manipulative behavior just to get her way all the time, eventually the other partner will begin to feel overwhelmed, undervalued, and unrespected.</p><p id="c54c">These are feelings, I suspect, are beginning to creep into my friend.</p><p id="da6f">Any enduring, meaningful relationship (for both partners) has to be about given and take. It is that synchronicity that keeps it fluid and adaptable to any situations the couples can find themselves. It keeps them moving in the same direction, soaring higher.</p><blockquote id="79e1"><p>“Love is supposed to lift you up, not hold you down. It is supposed to push you forward, not hold you back.” ― Suzy Kassem</p></blockquote><p id="999a">Yes, I know this situation could easily be in reverse i.e. about Miss Right and Mr. Wrong but that’s another story.</p><div id="4d9a" class="link-block"> <a href="http

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s://readmedium.com/whats-mr-right-to-do-when-he-gets-miss-wrong-2-95eec6358aab"> <div> <div> <h2>What’s Mr. Right To Do When He Gets Miss Wrong? (2)</h2> <div><h3>A dear friend’s rocky path through relationship and post-marital turbulence</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*JLtxOihJs_jDRbCvCU__oA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="bbbd" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-pick-a-partner-with-the-similarities-that-matter-befc7763e432"> <div> <div> <h2>How To Pick A Partner With The Similarities That Matter</h2> <div><h3>The similarities you should never overlook and the ones that aren’t as important as you think</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Vu4vOCM2eHlEkCl2MCth7g.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="8d86" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/love-expires-in-all-relationships-d6090c85af09"> <div> <div> <h2>“Love” Expires In All Relationships</h2> <div><h3>After it does, what then?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*Q9DGgE-cTr2R4SfZ)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="6351" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-science-thinks-your-relationship-is-about-to-crash-e9991d2e2727"> <div> <div> <h2>Why Science Thinks Your Relationship Is About To Crash</h2> <div><h3>If you want to keep it going you should watch out for these signs and reverse them</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*TD-njp4L224fIKBJ)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="1304"><i>To become a member and enjoy unlimited access to stories? Please sign up to join Medium <a href="https://medium.com/@timdahi60/membership"><b>using this link</b></a>. Your membership fee will directly support me and all the other writers you read at no extra cost to you.</i></p><div id="daec" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@timdahi60/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link - Tim Dahi</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*bbdUwBHBI7OC_iGU)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

What’s Mr. Right To Do When He Gets Miss Wrong?

He begins to experience certain negative feelings and then cracks begin to appear.

“The woman just annoys the hell out of me…but I love her.” Often says my dear friend who shall remain unnamed.

When we were younger he wasn’t exactly a dreamy-eyed romantic but still, I bet there is no way he expected the life after, “I do" to be one of continuous aggravation.

His situation makes me ponder so many questions. Should a man have to endure unlimited aggravation for the rest of his life because she is never mature enough or sensitive enough to realize the adverse effect of her behavior? Should he always be left anxious about her volatility in any given situation? Is that love? It may be love for her, having a man sponge absorb all her unbridled toxicity but is it true love for him?

“No way he expected the life after, “I do” to be one of continuous aggravation.”

I don’t ask these questions out loud. You see, they have been married three years already and I am not going to be that guy that says something “thought-provoking” and set him off rethinking their relationship. Which he hasn’t done so far, at least not that he has mentioned to me.

Why hasn’t he? Perhaps because he is in denial, or is thinking of their son. Or he’s afraid of being alone. Or he thinks that’s how all long-term relationships should be. There are many reasons why people stay in toxic relationships.

It may be love for her, having a man sponge absorb all her unbridled toxicity but is it true love for him?

The reason for my restraint

In my defense, I don’t want to weigh in because I may and find out later he’s decided it was no longer worth it, and they have to separate. And then he comes to me with one of the lines I dread the most whenever some I know takes a life-altering course, “It was because you said…” Those words sometimes make me uncomfortable.

Yes, breakups happen all the time but I am not going to play a part in another one!

My philosophy when it comes to relationships is, if there is any chance to make it work, no matter how remote, couples should give it a try. People are better together.

My friend is a very outgoing, open type of person so I’m sure he talks to other people. Let them tell him what they think.

Giving friends relationship advice can be tricky

If there is one thing I have learned about giving relationship advice it's: you have to tread very, very carefully because you are never getting the full picture just talking to one partner.

I am not saying a partner is being deliberately deceitful but he or she is relaying to you the facts as they see them or understand them, and they often tend to confuse opinions with facts.

As a matter of fact, you can talk to both partners and still not get the full picture. I don’t know how relationship counselors manage to guide couples through resolving feelings of conflict, frustration, lack of fulfillment, hurt, or annoyance day in, day out but big ups to them.

“I never tell him I think he’s being gaslighted. I always have to rack my brain just to find the most benign stuff to say. Frankly, she’s beginning to annoy me.”

One thing is sure

All I know is, to sustain a solid relationship there must be compromises and adjustments. When one partner cares only for herself and will resort to all forms of manipulative behavior just to get her way all the time, eventually the other partner will begin to feel overwhelmed, undervalued, and unrespected.

These are feelings, I suspect, are beginning to creep into my friend.

Any enduring, meaningful relationship (for both partners) has to be about given and take. It is that synchronicity that keeps it fluid and adaptable to any situations the couples can find themselves. It keeps them moving in the same direction, soaring higher.

“Love is supposed to lift you up, not hold you down. It is supposed to push you forward, not hold you back.” ― Suzy Kassem

Yes, I know this situation could easily be in reverse i.e. about Miss Right and Mr. Wrong but that’s another story.