Women
What’s It Like To Fear Becoming a “Fat” and “Ugly” Woman
In order to survive, I needed to be thin.
I am not proud to admit this, but I used to fat shame others a lot. Why? Because I was fat-shamed myself when I was a teen.
I was “overweight” as a teen and my mother used to make me go on various diets as it was unacceptable for her daughter to be “fuller”. See, where I come from, women are expected to appeal to men in one size, preferable size S.
I was taught by my mother that “beauty requires sacrifice”. Almost every Eastern European girl hears that it is necessary to suffer restrictive diets as long as it delivers results — looking beautiful.
Being skinny is at the heart of the Eastern European beauty ideal, and fat-phobia exists on all levels of society: from schools to family to the healthcare system to the endlessly objectifying images in advertising. This hatred toward “fat women” is embedded deep into our culture and damages not only overweight women — but women of all shapes, colours and sizes.
As I grew up, I grew thinner and closer to this “beauty ideal”. As I’ve shrunk myself to the size XS that I too suddenly started to dislike “fuller ”women. This fear of being overweight drove me to an eating disorder that ruined my relationship with food and my own body image.
In order to survive, I needed to be thin.
Many of my female friends fear gaining weight. And to be honest, I don't have “fuller” female friends. It appears that to gain weight or to be associated with “fuller women” means losing affections from others.
The whole world is against fuller women.
This wasn’t always the case, this phobia didn’t start until the last century. Before that, not only were we not fatphobic, but we adored “fat ”women. We loved their full figures and bodies. They were beautiful, and they still are, we just need to be reminded of that.
Museums and art galleries are full of paintings and sculptures of fuller women. They were deemed to be beautiful. Being full-figured displayed signs of fertility and health.
But all changed in the late 19th century when the love for “fat women” deteriorated. Suddenly it was likeable to be thinner, more fragile looking, being able to fit into a corset.
In the 21st century, the era of “Kardashians” began, and almost every woman was on a quest of being thin. Overweight women were stereotypically portrayed as dumb and unable to find a partner.
Women began suffering all around the world while the weight loss industry escalated to a billion-dollar corporation. The media also profited highly from it. From the beauty industry to the wellness industry, dozens of major industries reaped the financial rewards of women feeling bad about their bodies.
The healthcare industry isn’t exempt, either.
Every individual (such as influencers)who makes money from enforcing the body hierarchy is responsible for increasing the oppression of “fat” women.
Unfortunately, it is believed that fat is ugly, shameful, uncomfortable, taboo.
The loss and gain of body weight determine our self-worth and decide our social status. Fat is political. I believe my fear of becoming fat will remain for as long as society is afraid of it.
I don’t know a single female who doesn’t worry about her body shape, hasn’t at some point in her life felt the need to diet or used the term “fat” as a negative. No one wants to be the fat woman.
I often strive towards body positivity and encourage the attitude that “looks” don’t matter but then there are moments when I catch myself judging the women who are overweight.
It is hard to break from the roots of expectations. From the roots of the patriarchy, from the roots of evil thoughts.
But every step matters and gets us closer to a society where discrimination doesn’t exist.
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