Northern Europe
What’s a Honeymoon Without 1,000 Castles?
Conway in Northwestern Wales is one of the great fortresses of medieval Europe
Ok — 1,000 castles is rather a hyperbole
But my wife Mary Jane would at least claim now to have visited one hundred over our week in Wales in 1995. We also stayed a week in London — well, in Brent Cross where I received a Holiday Inn discounted room for 15 quid a night because I worked in the “Hotel and Restaurant Industry.”
Well, I was a waiter — but when I met Mary Jane at a dance in Philly, that’s what I originally told her.
Because I fashioned myself in the Quixotic Mode of Knight Errant, as well as having studied in England in Newcastle a few years before the honeymoon, I wanted the honeymoon to be “romantic.”
And I’m talking about romantic with a capital R — like Medieval Romance. Mary Jane would have preferred something more relaxing and sunny, you know, where two young lovers can enjoy so much time together. Bermuda — or something like that.
But she knew how thrilled I was to finally have not only a girlfriend — my first, but also now a wife. Wow. So when I woke up after our awesome wedding night, I was so worried about the trip and the sketchy tickets I purchased from a New York City consolidator, I was throwing up. Mary Jane thought I didn’t want to be married. She didn’t know then the extent of how my nerves affected my gastrointestinal system.
Mary Jane was exhausted after our flight from JFK to London on Air India. Once we picked up the rental, and I swore to her I would be fine driving a manual shift from the other side of the car, we headed due west to Wales on the M4.
She thought we were going to stop outside of the airport, relax, unwind, grab a pint, and be together
Since she was sleeping, I thought we could get a few hundred miles under our belt and get close to Wales.
We did. She woke up. Drowsy. And said what hotel — was it a Holiday Inn in Hounslow or Wimbledon?
“We’re almost to Wales!”
“What?”
“Well, we’re actually in the Cotswolds.”
She was so tired. I was a real ass back then. The wedding and the dress she made were on her shoulders. She had some help, of course, but she was also working full-time as a dietitian. This may sound funny, but it wasn’t, actually.
I stopped to get her a Diet Coke at a pub for the caffeine. I ordered a pint. When I’m on a trip, my gas tank always seems full. And it’s the only time I don’t think about eating. I know one thing — move!
Needless to say, she had grounds for divorce after one day of being married to a man who would, in thirty years, be diagnosed with Overfocused ADD. I was over-focused all right — just on castles and not on the needs of my beautiful wife. Babe, I’m sorry.
But we found a lovely B&B and had a hearty pub dinner. For some reason, she stayed with me, kissed me, and considered not punching me in the nutsack.
We had a lovely time exploring the charming towns and villages around the fairy-tale-like town of Burton-on-the-Water. I believed we stayed in the town of Cirencester. Lovely. The pubs as well. Those towns saved me. Two weeks in the Cotswolds would have been perfect for Mary Jane. And for me, now, oh yes!
Conway Castle — or Conwy in Welsh in Gwynedd had to be one of our favorite castles
Why? Its location is so dramatic — right on the sea with the high precipice and so many towers ringing the fortress. The castle seems to have grown out of the earth and stone rather than by Master of the King’s Works in Wales — James of St. George.
It was created between 1283–1287 during a crazy period of “frenzied” castle building in Wales under King Edward I.
It took “1,500 craftsmen and laborers” to create this impressive and brilliant display of “military architecture (Wales Castles & Historic Places).
There are more castles per square mile in Wales than in any other region. After a southern and coastal tour of Wales, we headed north towards Snowdonia. The mountains, of course, are gorgeous. For many traveling to the UK, this part is off the tourist maps.
Conway is a medieval walled city — like York or Durham — two amazing towns in the North of England. But Conway is intimate. We found a lovely and reasonably priced B&B in town, ordered takeaway from a chip shop, and ate fish and chips on the floor of our room, laughing and having so much fun — and then the owner walked in on us by accident — thinking he didn’t “let” the room.
Let’s just say he was lucky to be five minutes late or he’d really see an ass.
Conwy is not built on a typical “concentric” design
Because of its position with natural barriers, Conwy has a “linear outline.” The interior of the castle had two main wards that could serve and operate independently in case one was breached. The white plaster that covered all the walls is long gone — but some remnants remain on the outer walls.
When Edward and Queen Eleanor were in residence, the royal standards “would have been raised” on the crowned turrets.
“One beautiful little chapel gives one tower its name, and the King’s Tower provided further private rooms” (Wales Castles & Historic Places).
In 1295, Conwy was attacked when King Edward was in residence. The resistance to the growing power of England came from Madog ap Llywelyn in 1295. He led a rebellion against King Edward, but the fortress withstood the attack, even though food and supplies ran low.
Taking a walk around the town walls is a must
It’s almost as cool as the castle itself. It is remarkable the walls are so intact.
The walls contain over 21 towers. The walls run about 3/4 of a mile around. There are three gateways that are still in use. We even drove our tiny Ford through one of its entrances.
On an interesting side note, there are still 12 latrines next to Mill Gate. There are excellent views of the castle and the walls from Upper Gate.
Before Conwy, we had toured the beautiful region Snowdonia and Caernarfon Castle
Just up the road, across Menai Strait, is Holy Island and Holyhead — and the ferry to Dublin, Ireland.
That trip — Ireland — was supposed to commence for our 25th wedding anniversary last year. But you know, COVID-19 happens when you’re busy making other plans.
After a pleasant stay in Conway, we headed to Chester, and then border-hopping between Wales and England in the Land of A.E. Housman and Shropshire, along the River Wye and en route to another story I wrote about Tintern Abbey, Bristol, and then Bath.
And so many other castles and abbeys and mountain paths and pubs and pleasant people — before and after Conway. But Conway as a fortress is symbolic to us. It’s the reason it protects us during our dinners. And it reminds us of our long romance — and the need for many rests stops.
For your next post-Covid-19 holiday, consider Wales. But if the other partner wants sun and frolic on the sand, consider Wales for another time.
I think these castles will still be standing — as well as your marriage.
Thank you for reading! Safe travels, folks. Follow me on Medium at Walter Bowne.
