7 Out of 10 Have Impostor Syndrome, and It Can Be You
An estimated 70% of people experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives, according to a review article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science.
Who do you see in the mirror?
When you look in a mirror, What do you see? or Who do you see? Do you see yourself as an impostor?
It happens to most of us. According to a review article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science — 7 out of 10 experience some form of “impostor syndrome,”
“Impostor syndrome” — a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes — describes an internal feeling of not deserving success, or even feeling like you’re a fraud or that your achievements are just due to luck and not actual ability, talent or qualifications.
Have you felt like you don’t belong?
Many people who have been successful in their lives can relate to this feeling.
Although many people feel like impostors at one time or another, it’s something you can overcome to keep achieving your goals.
Impostor syndrome is the feeling that everyone else in your field is more qualified than you are and that you’re just pretending to know what you’re doing.
There is no single explanation as to why impostor syndrome occurs.
If you have impostor syndrome, you’re not alone. Many of the most successful people in the world have felt the same way.
Anthony Bourdain
In an article by The New Yorker about the newly released documentary on the life of Anthony Bourdain, Morgan Neville, the filmmaker behind the Roadrunner film, is quoted as;
“He had impostor syndrome; he always felt like it could all go away. But I think, even more than that, the reason he kept moving was just the hope that the next thing was going to make him happy, or it was going to solve something in his life,” — Excerpt, A Haunting New Documentary About Anthony Bourdain.
It is an opinion of the filmmaker and not a statement of fact.
We all know that Anthony Bourdain was fighting his demons, and sadly he and designer Kate Spade chose not to fight anymore, and we lost these brave souls in 2018.
Here’s how to deal with impostor syndrome
Don’t compare yourself to other people for validation of your success.
If you compare yourself to others, you’re bound to feel like you’re doing something wrong or not accomplishing enough. So instead, focus on your journey and be proud of what you’ve already accomplished.
One of the first steps is to acknowledge impostor thoughts and put them in perspective.
What is prevalent in our thoughts when we are in the “impostor experience” is that we think we are a fraud and that our success is based on luck and nothing else.
There is fear that at any time, people would come to us and tell us exactly how we feel — that we are a fraud.
But, it is the farthest from the truth.
All our successes in life come to us because we deserve it, even if we can recognize that there is luck involved, but if there is, it is a tiny part of why you become successful.
Practice self-acceptance and stop comparing your potential to others’ actual achievements.
Focus on yourself, and your potential, instead of comparing your actual achievements to others’ possible achievements.
Don’t compare your work and your life to other people’s work and other people’s lives.
Focus on your journey and your progress, and be proud of that. Set yourself specific, achievable, small goals. Is this a big idea or a little idea?
This is a huge way of setting yourself goals. Little goals are easier to achieve because you take less time to do them compared to bigger goals.
Downsizing your goals is also a positive way of making sure you stick to them. But, unfortunately, I find that by downsizing my goal, I often won’t achieve it.
I think of it a little like building a house. You start with a small box (that has only one wall and is about 4m x 4m), and you get progressively bigger but keep adding more and more walls until you have a big, spacious house.
Once you have a small, achievable goal, you start feeling motivated to work on bigger and heftier goals.
“When you are a beginner in life, the first suggestion the wise man makes to you is to Sit down and trim the branches of your tree.” — Unknown.
This is a crucial one for me. I’ve written about this a couple of times before, but it is a significant one! Everything we do comes down to our beliefs about ourselves and the world.
Similarly, to achieve your goals, you need to believe in a shape-changing future and that you have the potential to change your life and your circumstances.
Minimum viable strategies are based on beliefs about yourself and about the things you can do or be. If you don’t believe you can succeed, you won’t listen to anything I say.
To make sure you stay the course in all areas of your life, make a goal that changes only one thing about you.
Rely on the support of others who understand where you’re coming from and help you through it.
Everyone goes through difficult times in their lives, and it’s important to have support from your friends and family.
It’s essential to lean on your loved ones, who will be there to help you through anything.
How will you react when your friends criticize you or criticize your achievements?
- It’s important to remember that bullshit people won’t change their opinion of you, no matter how hard you work or how good you do.
- Working hard doesn’t make someone an asshole; they become one as a result of being in the spotlight, and people will eventually make their own life choices about how they want their lives to unfold.
- The moment you feel like you deserve success or admiration because someone else has achieved it first, stop it.
Reward yourself for working hard. People don’t know what you did to get there. Your hard-earned sweat and tears do that.
So work hard and be consistent, keep pushing tomorrow, and always be humble.
Be yourself, communicate your feelings, yet never let that “fake” self tip you over the edge into arrogance.
Good things take time, and a fresh perspective is something to look forward to.
“Everything happens for a reason.” — Unknown.
Do you believe there’s a reason your perfect marriage didn’t work out, the reason you weren’t commissioned to do that dream job, or simply the reason you had to quit school, take a series of non-paid jobs in the hopes of finding one that’ll keep your family together?
Keep searching for that special someone or that magic moment that saved your life, or believe in the possibility of something bigger than yourself.
People are not trying to tear you from your dreams, and dreams shouldn’t be your top priority when things go wrong.
Positivity, gratitude, and forgiveness are powerful tools when it comes to dealing with your life’s failures.
Don’t let impostor syndrome hold you back from achieving your goals.
Impostor syndrome is feeling like you don’t belong, like you’re not smart enough, or like you’re going to get found out as a fraud.
It’s the fear of being exposed as a fraud.
But how is it possible to overcome an impostor’s self-image? It turns out there’s a science behind being “authentic” and feeling like you belong.
When people are authentic, they believe in themselves.
Being authentic brings a personal sense of value to your life. It means taking pride in your efforts, in your accomplishments, proud of your achievements without feeling like it’s due to one big luck tip.
So how can you build up this kind of confidence and knack for being authentic?
We’ve all trick ourselves into thinking holding back is better. But, unfortunately, when your goals are the kind you dream about, you’ll be too busy doing things to set them.
Anything you can convince yourself of is better than admitting defeat.
And so, to be authentic in the impostor mindset, you’ve got to turn your back on the impossible.
You have to accept that you aren’t as good as you think you are. Even if you believe you are the best impostor in the room, none of that matters.
Switching your mindset from being the best to being just average works wonders for making impostor syndrome disappear.
Conclusion
One piece of advice that can help is to reframe your thoughts and learn to value constructive criticism.
Seek professional help if you want to understand further your feelings of being a fraud or impostor.
In the end, you have to value your successes without inflating your ego. Recognize your innate talents, be grateful and never look down on people who have less, and never show fear of being found out thinking others deserve the success that you have.
