What Type of Clapper Are You?

Does it matter if you clap once, 10 times, or 50?

Obviously, if you read a tearjerking tale on Medium that has you wiping your eyes with Kleenex, you’re clicking the clapping icon 50 times.

Another story has you roaring so loud the rest of your family thinks you’re insane. Again, 50 claps is a given.

But what about those good, but not great stories. Those stories you like, but didn’t love. Are you still generously clicking the little hands until it reaches 50?

I’ve broken the Medium viewers’ clapping tendencies into six categories. Which one do you fall in? Or are there other reasons for your clapping thought process?

The standing ovation clapper

Fifty claps for everyone! The writing is irrelevant. ‘A’ for effort. Their slogan is: “I’m a fan of all my followers. I open. I read. I clap 50 times. I’m a positive person and I want to pass those good vibes along via my claps. Clap fifty for me and I’ll clap fifty for you.”

The picky professor clapper

They want to be moved, entertained, or educated. They take their reading — and clapping — seriously. They have their own clapping rubric. Fifty is an A, 40 a B, 30 a C, etc. They have a purpose and they look at your writing like an algebraic expression. Points off — of course — for grammatical and spelling errors.

The emoji clapper

Wake up to a steamy dog poop on the living room floor? This reader probably won’t be giving many 50 claps. However, if it’s their birthday and the morning coffee is tasting like the world’s best expect the 50 claps to be flying feverishly from their fingers.

The random clapper

Like a quarterback cadence: “17–38–22-43–11. Hike!” They let the spirit — or their fingers — move them. They just click the clapping icon until they’re tired of clicking — like playing a simpler video game than Pong.

The golf clapper

One clap. Hey, at least I clapped! Their philosophy is clapping isn’t like points in a basketball game. A clap is a clap.

The frustrated forty-five clapper

Hey, we’ve all been there. You truly want to issue a 50 clap. But you keep missing the damn clapping icon, and you are transported to a new section. You even try a second time. Forty-five will have to do.

But wait. Aren’t we forgetting something? What about the comment clapping? Here’s the mini-breakdown:

Emotionally moved comment clapper:

The comment brought out an emotion (ie: a giant smile, laughter). Fifty claps is the least you can do to show your appreciation.

Yogurt-topping comment clapper:

They didn’t move you to tears, but they still gave you warm fuzzies. One just isn’t enough. Like picking a yogurt topping, they want to put some “granola” (5 claps), “butterscotch” (10 claps), or — feeling really brave — “oreo pieces” (20 claps) to add flavor to their claps.

Random comment clapper:

Cryptic clapping. 4–19–49–22.5, 1/4, 0.33333, pi. The Beautiful minds of clapping.

Standard comment clapper:

One. It’s a comment, folks! No reason to go cra cra over a mere sentence. Do you clap when someone flushes the toilet? Or when your dog chews on a bone? One clap is more than suffice.

“I don’t clap” on comments

Similar to above. No need. Were having a convo. Why clap?

Thanks for reading and clapping (any amount of times) for my story.

Tagging those a bunch of happy clapper: Scot Butwell, Lu Skerdoo, Yunghi Kim, Ruby Lee, Evon, Adelina Vasile, Pam Winter, Scott Younkin, Gerald Sturgill, Sreese, MarkfromBoston 🌻Ukraine, Alicia Domínguez, Jane Kelley, Janet Meisel, Victoria Valentine, Ning Choi, Lisa A Lachapelle Canuckscribe. Deborah Camp, The Sober Vegan Yogi, Susan Wheelock, Sarah Jean, Mary Chang Story Writer, Kristine Laco.

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Michael L Butler enjoying writing about Medium topics like clapping, but also dabbles in zany nostalgic pieces, poems, sports stories and more. You can read thousands of stories and earn money writing your own stories by joining Medium for $5 a month. If you use my link I receive a small commission.