What to Do When You’re Addicted to Social Media

Start with a sufficient substitute

If social media controls you and is robbing you of your freedom and good emotional energy chances are you’re addicted and it’s time to find another hobby.~Germany Kent

Since the advent of social media, we have new opportunities and problems. We can find almost anyone in the world with one tap or click. We can also lose ourselves in the virtual vortex. We’re becoming more disconnected from each other with internet communication. We believe in the illusion of intimacy when someone favors our posts and comments.

We know deep down we’re not fostering intimate connections online with most people. There are exceptions. I’ve developed some close bonds with a few friends I’ve met in Facebook groups. But there’s nothing better than a real live conversation.

Some people rely on social media for work. Those of us who are indie writers and freelancers use social media platforms for networking and promoting. It’s tricky when we can’t use it only as a tool. Sure, it’s harmless to socialize online a little bit. But when it impedes our progress in other endeavors, we’re in trouble.

As much as I’d like to ignore it, I’ve started to form an unhealthy attachment to online forums like Facebook. I wish I could take it or leave it. But in classic addict fashion, I can’t stop scrolling and get myself to bed at a reasonable hour. I get sucked in. I notice how it affects the rest of my life. I’m not as present for my kids. I don’t accomplish what I set out to do for myself.

I’ve heard this before. I know I’m not alone. I decided to try an impromptu experiment for seven days. I’m on a Facebook fast as of last night. I have 63 notifications at the time of this writing. I need to leave them alone and stay occupied with other activities. Once I look, there’s usually no going back.

Our attachment to social media negatively impacts our relationships and overall health. But there’s hope for a balanced life.

Here are some ways you can curb addictive tendencies with social media:

Lure yourself away with an attractive alternate activity

If Facebook lured you in, you know you can find a sufficient substitute. Humans get distracted by shiny object type things, you know. Find something equally as satisfying. Most of us try to fill an unmet need by scrolling on our FB feed. We’re searching for a social outlet or entertainment. Once we address the core issue, we can get busy with healthier ways to meet our needs.

If I want to connect with someone, there are myriad ways in which I can do so. I started handwriting a letter to my long-distance friend today. Not only does the activity grab my attention, it’s a healthier way to communicate. Old-fashioned letter writing used to be the best way to communicate with our loved ones. It’s rich with possibilities, as each person has time to express everything they feel and think. Our response time is considerably longer and more complete than social media. We need the space between for our relationship to flourish.

Talking on the phone brings another layer of connection. I look forward to hearing my friend’s voice. Since we live far apart, we need to continue this kind of social interaction to stay close. If you haven’t picked up the phone in a while, I highly recommend you give it a try. It’s so rare to get a call these days. You’ll make their day if they decide to answer. We’re kind of afraid of a phone call now. But I promise you’ll get over it after you practice a few times.

There are so many other alternatives to engaging with social media. You could read a book, journal, watch a movie, or catch up on sleep. Whatever you choose to do with your time, limit to offline activities.

Continue the alternate activity for at least one week

Do it during the usual time you’re prone to gravitating toward social media. You’ll see if using it only as a tool will work. If not, stay off entirely this week. It’ll be there when you return.

It’s been twelve hours since I’ve been on Facebook. I don’t miss it. You won’t notice it’s absence after a short time away. It’s especially true when you’re doing something else you love.

We need to practice new behaviors to elicit change. Repeating it several times creates a new habit. Get into the groove of doing something different. You’ll eventually feel comfortable. It’ll be your new normal.

If you can manage using social media here and there, that’s awesome. I need to create some distance for myself. But Facebook and the like can be useful tools when you’re able to keep your usage reasonable.

Set strong time limits for yourself

Here’s one caveat. You need to be sure you can adhere to your own limits. Maybe you can’t handle any time on social media. Then you’ll need to do a fast.

I’ve mentioned screen time monitoring in another article. Most cell phones have this feature for help with time limits. I find it myself ineffective because I ignore it.

I need to abstain. Unlike drinking or taking drugs, I’ll be able to use social media as a tool when I resume my use. But strong limits are necessary for me.

Do a social media fast

It’s a good idea to take breaks from our usual routine, especially if it’s interfering with your health and well-being. A social media fast includes planned abstinence from sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Nowadays, social media is rampant. If you know it’s everywhere, it’s best to avoid it is to stop using the internet for a set time.

Commit to stop engaging for a few days. I’m allowing myself a YouTube video or two because I rarely comment. But I might limit everything to see what happens.

When we detach from the emotional feedback, it’ll be easy to disengage from social media. I grew up without it, so I’ll need only to remember what it’s like to do other things with my time. I used to have school, work, or the telephone to reach out to friends. Now the superficial connections are endless. I’m frankly overwhelmed.

It’s healthy to find social media overwhelming. We need to get back to basics. Human interactions are stilted and awkward with people who use the internet too much. We’re losing our ability to communicate authentically in real-time. We read body language and tone of voice to learn what a person is telling us.

While you’re fasting, reach out to fellow humans. Chat at the grocery store, laundromat, while you’re picking up your kids from school. Today, I was listening to some tunes on my phone as I arrived on campus. I couldn’t help but notice nearly every parent glued to their cell phones. I greeted the only ones who weren’t looking down because they could see me waving.

You’ll notice these things, too. Look up and out at each other. We’re looking for love in all the wrong places again. But you’ll have fresh eyes when you step away for a bit.

Seek outside help

I mention 12-step groups often when it comes to any addictive behavior. I recommend going to 12-step support groups for issues that feel out of control. Personal experience shows me addictions crossing over into other areas of our lives.

I can’t stress enough the power of a group of people who get you. They’ll understand and relate to your lack of control. They’ll relate to feeling hopeless when you can’t manage to stop on your own. They’ll introduce you to a higher power if you haven’t yet considered it. Turning the problem over to Source allows us to grow in faith. We’ll take actions we never thought we could handle. The group can be a higher power. Atheists benefit by giving the problem to the group. I’ve heard many times: I can’t, we can.

Being in two 12-step groups for years gave me the courage to face seemingly impossible challenges. Social media overuse could’ve become debilitating. My life was showing signs of unmanageability. But I addressed it early on. I’m one of the fortunate ones who can probably ended up controlling and enjoying my Facebook use. If you feel like you can’t do it alone, 12-step groups perform daily miracles. They’ll help you, too.

Final thoughts

Social media is a blessing and a curse. But we have a choice as to how we’ll use it to our advantage. If you neglect your needs or ignore your kids, you might have a problem. Maybe a short break will be enough.

Spend your time connecting in other ways. You’ll create or revisit healthier habits. You won’t miss the 2D social media experience. There’s nothing more satisfying than human interaction. Reach out and touch a person instead of your keyboard. I promise it’ll bring you all the fulfillment you seek.

Limiting time on social media can actually help you to improve and appreciate relationships that are real and true.~Germany Kent

Here are more stories on addiction and mental health:

Let’s stay in touch. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, or my personal blog at gratefulx365.wordpress.com. Email me at [email protected]. Thanks for reading.