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round them. They are hard to be around because of the dark cloud hovering over their heads. They complain endlessly about their lives.</p><p id="fc81">If you hang out with a person like this and you realize you are tired and feeling drained, you may be dealing with an <a href="https://lonerwolf.com/types-energy-vampire/">energy vampire</a> and you are better off loving them from afar. You can’t take care of anybody until you first fill your cup.</p><h1 id="2c32">What to do with a toxic friend</h1><p id="9379">You can end a toxic friendship with grace. What you shouldn't do is ghost your friend. Ghosting a person sucks and it's very painful, even if they are draining your energy — you still love and care for them. Do these things instead.</p><h2 id="6478">1. Take it easy on them</h2><p id="26eb">Why? Because they are struggling even if they won't admit they need help. The way they act is because of the pain or insecurity they feel inside. Understand they face childhood traumas that are affecting their adult lives.</p><p id="1855">Be compassionate but don't absorb their negative energy. Every time they project their issues onto another person, it is just their inner child crying out for help. They might not be a bad person.</p><h2 id="4862">2. Send them positive energy</h2><p id="bb24">You are full of positive energy and that's why an energy vampire is attracted to you. Instead of letting them steal your energy, send them positivity. Send them inspirational messages. Send them a podcast you believe may shed light on their situation.</p><p id="2031">Keep them in your prayers. Nobody is perfect, but God never forsakes us. You shouldn't completely abandon your friend. They may be acting up because they need help and don't know how they can help themselves.</p><h2 id="d64c">3. Let them know they need help</h2><p id="780d">Careful, toxic people don’t respond well to criticism even though they are extremely critical of themselves and other people. There is a difference between people who are toxic to your well-being and people who have are negative because of their traumas.</p><p id="b444">They may be unwilling to seek help themselves or change their ways, but you have to be honest and let them know to seek help. Let them know they can speak to a therapist or anyone they trust who may be able to help them. If they deny help, you've done your part.</p><h2 id="fbbd">4. Let the friendship fade</h2><p id="f41d">If they need you, you can be there for them, but nothing more. This is a non-confrontational way of slowly ending a friendship.</p><p id="9907">If you use to message or talk to each other every day, bring that down to a couple of times a week. If you used to speak with them a couple of times a week, stop speaking with them until they reach out.</p><p id="47dd">If they ask why you are pulling away, let them understand you love you more and you put yourself and your sanity first. Become detached. Show less enthusiasm and guard your energy.</p><h2 id="bede">5. Distance yourself</h2><p id="6cd5">Consider creating distance instead of sepa

Options

ration. You want to see them get the help they need. Create a separation while they seek help.</p><p id="5291">If your friend knows you are on a more positive path and still does and says negative things around you, you have the right to distance yourself from them for your own sake. Nobody is worth your peace of mind.</p><p id="d3d0">Put yourself first and distance yourself from a friend who brings your self-confidence down.</p><h2 id="024d">6. Cut them off</h2><p id="448b">If all the above fails, you have to cut this person off completely. This is not ghosting. There is a difference. This is cutting off someone who is emotionally abusive and constantly makes you feel bad about yourself and your life.</p><p id="f4d5">Someone who talks behind your back or passive-aggressively says things to put you down, is someone you don’t need in your life.</p><p id="298e">For a friend like this, you don’t owe them any explanation as to why you no longer want to hang out.</p><h1 id="22d7">Friends build each other up</h1><p id="b55e">If a friendship weighs you down more than it builds you up, it's toxic and you have to let that friendship go. A toxic person is a distraction from your true purpose.</p><p id="de6e">A toxic friend will have you second-guessing yourself, they may make you uncomfortable. You might even take on some of the same toxic qualities — like the negative self-talk.</p><h1 id="0743">Are you the toxic person?</h1><p id="800c">By recognizing your toxic behaviors, you are already on your way to being a better person. Listen to the feedback others are giving you. Listen to their complaints.</p><p id="c76d">Do not try to fight back when you are told how your attitude is affecting those around you. See it as an opportunity for growth.</p><p id="d98a">Work on your own <a href="https://readmedium.com/turn-to-self-compassion-when-you-feel-lost-f931c550c142">self-compassion</a>. Heal your past. <a href="https://readmedium.com/allow-the-pain-to-swallow-you-whole-c38eff17b663">Work on your traumas</a> so you are not projecting it onto others. Have a better relationship with yourself. That is the most important relationship you will ever have<b>.</b> Work on your relationship with yourself, and that will carry over to other aspects of your life.</p><h1 id="e403">Bottom Line</h1><p id="476a">A toxic person will try to cling on to you because they need to feed on your energy. They may guilt-trip you when you try to cut them off. Stand your ground.</p><p id="ccf5">Understand all the way a negative person’s attitude is affecting your life. Understand how it's harming you.</p><p id="a188">You cannot fix a toxic person. It is impossible to control other people’s behaviors. The best you can do is set an example through your actions. There is a possibility if you set an example, people see your efforts and become more like you.</p><p id="f9cc">Friendships, like any other kind of relationship, can end. People mature, people grow up, people become mean and distant. And like anything that doesn’t serve you, it’s okay to end it.</p></article></body>

What to Do When Friends Drain Your Energy

I love you but I love me more

You are excited to get ready to get out of the house. You go to pick your friend up and the moment she gets in the car; she is already complaining about something even though she notices the sparkle in your eyes. It means nothing to her.

She criticizes herself the entire night and her attitude is ruining your night. You are no longer excited. You just want it to be over so you can go home. Chances are your friend is going through something or she's just toxic and draining your energy.

Sometimes you love a friend so much, but the friendship just isn't worth your peace of mind. You may care for them, but their attitude may be so toxic it's affecting you. You try to figure out whether to let them go for good or hold space for them.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, it's best to not make any rash decisions. Friends are important and friends help their friends, but if this person is really bad for your health and happiness, then you may need to save yourself first and allow your friend to do the same for themselves.

Signs of a toxic friend

At some point in our lives, we cross paths with someone who stands in the way of our own self-improvement. They may stand in the way of your spiritual growth if they belittle your beliefs.

They are controlling and try to manipulate you directly or indirectly. They may totally disregard your boundaries and they may be quick to snap at you and throw temper tantrums. Because of this, you walk on eggshells around them.

They think they are always right, even when you know they are wrong. They never admit to their mistakes even the small ones.

They play the victim role. Nothing is ever their fault and they believe everything is done to them and they never have a role to play in where they find themselves.

A strong form of toxic behavior is constant anger. When a person is always irritable and will get mad at you for the smallest things. You may feel you must watch your back constantly to avoid saying the wrong thing that will make them angry.

They blame their family for their anger issues but never attempt to heal from their trauma. They take their traumas out on anybody who gets in their way and never thinks twice about it.

They have a negative view of the world. They have a hard time being positive and their negative outlook infects everything and everyone around them. They are hard to be around because of the dark cloud hovering over their heads. They complain endlessly about their lives.

If you hang out with a person like this and you realize you are tired and feeling drained, you may be dealing with an energy vampire and you are better off loving them from afar. You can’t take care of anybody until you first fill your cup.

What to do with a toxic friend

You can end a toxic friendship with grace. What you shouldn't do is ghost your friend. Ghosting a person sucks and it's very painful, even if they are draining your energy — you still love and care for them. Do these things instead.

1. Take it easy on them

Why? Because they are struggling even if they won't admit they need help. The way they act is because of the pain or insecurity they feel inside. Understand they face childhood traumas that are affecting their adult lives.

Be compassionate but don't absorb their negative energy. Every time they project their issues onto another person, it is just their inner child crying out for help. They might not be a bad person.

2. Send them positive energy

You are full of positive energy and that's why an energy vampire is attracted to you. Instead of letting them steal your energy, send them positivity. Send them inspirational messages. Send them a podcast you believe may shed light on their situation.

Keep them in your prayers. Nobody is perfect, but God never forsakes us. You shouldn't completely abandon your friend. They may be acting up because they need help and don't know how they can help themselves.

3. Let them know they need help

Careful, toxic people don’t respond well to criticism even though they are extremely critical of themselves and other people. There is a difference between people who are toxic to your well-being and people who have are negative because of their traumas.

They may be unwilling to seek help themselves or change their ways, but you have to be honest and let them know to seek help. Let them know they can speak to a therapist or anyone they trust who may be able to help them. If they deny help, you've done your part.

4. Let the friendship fade

If they need you, you can be there for them, but nothing more. This is a non-confrontational way of slowly ending a friendship.

If you use to message or talk to each other every day, bring that down to a couple of times a week. If you used to speak with them a couple of times a week, stop speaking with them until they reach out.

If they ask why you are pulling away, let them understand you love you more and you put yourself and your sanity first. Become detached. Show less enthusiasm and guard your energy.

5. Distance yourself

Consider creating distance instead of separation. You want to see them get the help they need. Create a separation while they seek help.

If your friend knows you are on a more positive path and still does and says negative things around you, you have the right to distance yourself from them for your own sake. Nobody is worth your peace of mind.

Put yourself first and distance yourself from a friend who brings your self-confidence down.

6. Cut them off

If all the above fails, you have to cut this person off completely. This is not ghosting. There is a difference. This is cutting off someone who is emotionally abusive and constantly makes you feel bad about yourself and your life.

Someone who talks behind your back or passive-aggressively says things to put you down, is someone you don’t need in your life.

For a friend like this, you don’t owe them any explanation as to why you no longer want to hang out.

Friends build each other up

If a friendship weighs you down more than it builds you up, it's toxic and you have to let that friendship go. A toxic person is a distraction from your true purpose.

A toxic friend will have you second-guessing yourself, they may make you uncomfortable. You might even take on some of the same toxic qualities — like the negative self-talk.

Are you the toxic person?

By recognizing your toxic behaviors, you are already on your way to being a better person. Listen to the feedback others are giving you. Listen to their complaints.

Do not try to fight back when you are told how your attitude is affecting those around you. See it as an opportunity for growth.

Work on your own self-compassion. Heal your past. Work on your traumas so you are not projecting it onto others. Have a better relationship with yourself. That is the most important relationship you will ever have. Work on your relationship with yourself, and that will carry over to other aspects of your life.

Bottom Line

A toxic person will try to cling on to you because they need to feed on your energy. They may guilt-trip you when you try to cut them off. Stand your ground.

Understand all the way a negative person’s attitude is affecting your life. Understand how it's harming you.

You cannot fix a toxic person. It is impossible to control other people’s behaviors. The best you can do is set an example through your actions. There is a possibility if you set an example, people see your efforts and become more like you.

Friendships, like any other kind of relationship, can end. People mature, people grow up, people become mean and distant. And like anything that doesn’t serve you, it’s okay to end it.