What To Do When You Don’t Trust Yourself
How to fix that complicated relationship with your mind that wants one thing but does another.
I bet you secretly don’t believe in yourself. I bet you think that although the goal is possible, although you have what it takes, deep down you know you won’t succeed. Yet, at the same time, you chase that dream anyway. You’re hoping that somewhere down the line you’ll get your act together and start doing the necessary work.
Hope isn’t enough.
I bet you don’t trust yourself. You haven’t done enough of what you need to in order to become a person you can trust. You want success, but you don’t trust yourself to do what’s necessary. This is because day in and day out, you fail to get yourself to work on your craft—to practice, to study, to learn.
You give your time to the wicked tongue of instant gratification. You fall into gripping claws of procrastination. You lose yourself. You fail yourself. You fail your dreams. Each day your mind is at a tug of war between the things you know you should be doing and the things you want to do that can satisfy you now and make you feel comfortable now.
The only way to trust yourself is to become a person worth trusting.
The moment you commit to your dreams—I mean really commit—and start chipping away at those little bad habits daily, you will gain more confidence in yourself. I wish I could give you more “actionable” advice, but it’s truly just one action. Just do the thing. Ignore that voice in your head that tells you to run or persuades you to do something that’s “fun”.
You will regret this. You will regret not working on yourself. You will regret not becoming a person you can trust.
We are so quick to fall out of trust with others when we don’t even trust ourselves.
We act all “high and mighty” as if our trust is even worth dishing out. We fail time and time again because we don’t trust that we will do what is necessary to achieve our goals. We never truly believed we can achieve them in the first place.
We are always searching for the answers we have already. We already know what to do. We already know what it takes. We already know we are capable. We just don’t believe in ourselves. You have to believe and trust in yourself because no one else does.
You have to believe and trust in yourself because that’s the only way forward. The first step to committing is to become someone who commits. The first step to trusting is to become someone who is trustworthy. The first step to anything begins with you. I don’t know how else I can frame this. This is what it’s going to take. You have to get your act together.
The more you get yourself to work hard and grind daily, the more you push that needle forward, the more you ignore instant gratification and procrastination, you will learn to trust yourself.
The more you ignore that weak, scarcity mindset that steers you away from your goals, you will strengthen your resolve within yourself. You will strengthen your confidence to achieve bigger and better dreams.
You will actually start to believe you can do it, that you can achieve that precious dream of yours. This is because, for many days, you’ve worked on your mind. For many days, over a long period of time, you’ve combated the Resistance. The more you fight the Resistance and resist those urges and temptations, the stronger you become.
No longer will lack the confidence. No longer will you lack the drive. No longer will you think that deep down, it’s not possible. No longer will you doubt yourself. Instead, you’ll chase your dreams with your foot on the gas. You’ll fight for them, no matter what it takes or how you feel, because for once in your life you trust yourself to accomplish them.
You’ve done it before, time and time again, and this is simply another one of those things. Do something each day that’s “against the grain” of the comfort your mind typically seeks. Success lies in wait within the uncomfortable. Success lies in wait among the unknown.
There’s nothing you can trust down that road of uncertainty but yourself.
As you walk through the valley of the shadows of success, walk with a chip on your shoulder. Walk without fear. Walk with swagger. Walk as someone who knows that they will find that beautiful light at the end of the tunnel because you’ve found them time and time again.
Walk as if you know you will achieve that goal because you trust yourself to do so. Because you will. Because you can.
Because you want to. Don’t you?