What On Earth Is This Bland Curried Potato And Vegetable Soup?

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself. — Anonymous.

What on earth is this? A curried potato and vegetable soup? It sounds like a recipe for disaster! I mean, who in their right mind would think that putting all these yellow vegetables together in a pot would result in anything other than a bland, monotonous mess? But since you’re determined to make this, I suppose I should give you a recipe, although I highly doubt it will be worth the effort. As for a wine pairing, I suggest a crisp and dry Riesling from Dr. Loosen. It might help wash away the taste of this so-called soup.

Recipe for Disappointing Curried Potato and Vegetable Soup

Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 40 minutes Total Time: 55 minutes Servings: 8 servings

Ingredients:

• 4 tablespoons butter
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• 1/2 yellow bell pepper, chopped
• 1 large carrot, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds
• 1 teaspoon turmeric
• 1 teaspoon yellow mustard seed
• 2 teaspoons curry powder
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 pounds Yukon gold potatoes, peeled, quartered, cut into 1/2-inch slices
• 4 cups chicken broth (use vegetable broth for vegetarian option)
• 2 cups water
• 2 cups roughly chopped cauliflower florets (about 1/2 a head)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt, or more to taste
• 1 cup corn kernels (frozen is fine)
• 2 small yellow summer squash, roughly chopped
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro or parsley leaves, for garnish

Method:

1. Melt the butter in a large pot over medium high heat. Add the onion, bell pepper, carrot, and cumin seeds. Cook, stirring occasionally until the onions are soft and the bell pepper is lightly browned.
2. Add the turmeric, mustard seed, and curry powder. Cook for 1 minute more.
3. Add the garlic and cook for 30 seconds more.
4. Add the potatoes, broth, water, cauliflower, and salt. Increase the heat to high to bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-high or medium, enough to maintain a simmer. Let simmer uncovered for 20 minutes.
5. Add the corn and summer squash. Cook for 10 minutes more, until the vegetables are cooked through.
6. Use an immersion blender (or a regular blender) to purée about half of the soup. Adjust seasonings.

Garnish with chopped cilantro or parsley for some semblance of flavor.

Please, do yourself a favor and consider making something else. This soup is as bland as they come, and I highly doubt it will be worth the effort.

And for the love of all things culinary, skip the wine and save it for a meal that’s actually worth enjoying.

Bon Appetit

Should you have whipped up this curried potato dish without it tasting like a bland, spiceless tragedy, then you’ve done something right. Want to risk more culinary calamities? Hit that subscribe button for a smorgasbord of recipes teetering on the edge of disaster. And if you’re brimming with the confidence that you can add or adjust something to make this dish not just palatable but actually delightful, don’t hold back — let your culinary critique shine in the comments. Or, better yet, embrace the bliss of ignorance and leave the recipe as is, unscathed by well-meaning but potentially catastrophic tweaks.