What Makes You Come Alive?

In response to Coffee Challenge — why I want to be a better me in 2022

Do you play hide and seek with your potential? I know I do, and I’m pretty damn good at it. I hide between the flowing ink and the blank page. I detour into the land of Oz to express the metaphors my spirit feels. I conceal my truth of what makes me come alive behind what mainstream thinkers tell me it should be. I escape into the garden of ideas without tending the seeds. I am tired of disassociating from my feelings. It’s exhausting!

I still wear the golden handcuffs of a wage and benefits over entrepreneurship to camouflage my fears of not being enough. I want freedom from the doubts that keep me on the sidelines of my life.

I want to be a better me in 2022 because seeking my life’s purpose hides my potential. (seeking things outside myself hides my inner potential)

Freedom

I ended my post, The Life I Didn’t Know I Wanted, with the words — Perhaps, freedom is when we stop judging ourselves and others. But I have quite a few years to listen for the answer to that one.

Some answers flow in abundance today. Judging myself is how I hide my potential. My scarecrow brain laughs when people tell me I am one of the most non-judgmental people they know. If only they heard the whispers of my self-doubt.

Searching for answers –

we interrupt this flow of thought with a “You can’t make this shit up!” moment

As I got to this point of typing, I heard a whisper; you need more coffee and a journal. These heavy thoughts need the flow of the ink to blend with the paper, not the keyboard. I walked into the office, and a bright pink composition book grabbed my attention. I returned to my writing spot with coffee and the plain lined paper book, sat down, and opened it. The first pages contained a morning page entry dated 12–29–2014. I contemplated my word for the year, mentioned how the word “quackery” kept coming up, and compared it to the simple Kansas medicine man who played the Wizard.

Two particular lines in the journal jumped out at me. “so much of what we do is driven by vanity and comparison” and “all about creativity and the art of being alive.”

Ding ding ding!!!

Back to the regularly scheduled writing —

As I was saying, before the train of “ChannSpiration” (celebration of synchronicities) derailed me, “I want to be a better me in 2022 because seeking my life’s purpose hides my potential.” When you go looking for something outside yourself to fulfill what you think your purpose is, you lose sight of the internal gifts you already possess. My recent post, Changing the Potential of Our Future — connecting with the Universe through true belonging, discusses my 2021 mantra, recovery, and spirituality. It lives in a small publication Chanspirations & Coincidences, run by my mentor Marcus. He suggested it was too good to sit in C & C, as it might not get the reads it deserves. My response: This piece is the epitome of C & C. I think we trust and let the Universe do its magic.

What makes me come alive!

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and GO DO IT… because the world needs people who have come alive.” — Brené Brown

Little did I know then, the magic would show up, just for me, while writing my challenge piece of why I want to be a better me in 2022. It’s comparison, not judgment, that stops me from achieving my potential.

Comparisons based on the quackery society sold and I accepted. It’s not the judgment that holds me back; it’s comparison — comparisons of not fitting in steeped within ego and vanity the prevents my coming alive.

I light up from coincidences, synchronicities, spiritual intelligence, creativity, brain science, deep conversations, and most of all, the belief that we can change our lives, especially over past traumas, by changing the way we think.

Facilitating Our Lives

Helping others realize their potential by recovering their spirit is my dream job. My dream business is to use coaching techniques to bridge mental health professionals, non-profit programs, and individual clients in the sometimes-fragmented attempts to change their mindset and reach their potential.

I witnessed the synergy of working with non-profits firsthand in my life. Ultimately, it is the work of energetic exchange and life lessons, not something you can learn from an academic institution. Yes, it set the seed spark of what makes me come alive. The awareness of this drives me as my lack of a higher degree is the limiting belief on my scarecrow path.

We teach best what we need to learn the most — Richard Bach

The first group I facilitated sought to teach jail inmates how to write their personalized affirmations. Next, I worked with drug court clients and the welfare-to-work program, encouraging changing the negative self-talk to move beyond limiting beliefs. The bulk of my volunteer work involved facilitating court-ordered anger management domestic violence groups for both male and female offenders.

Every individual taught me experientially how to move beyond my trauma-based childhood. Combine this learning with an incredible therapist who helped me understand the brain science and cognitive techniques of dealing with my PTSD from her work with Peter Levine and Bessel van der Kolk.

My 2022 Mantra

With all these coincidences and synchronicities, especially today’s, the answers to my purpose are coming to the forefront. Since I was a little girl, I have wanted to be a teacher. My grandma, a woman I admire deeply, was a teacher. However, being a teacher meant a higher degree that has alluded me several times over the years. I see that seeking that purpose, struggling with the universal blocks to a higher degree keeps me hidden from achieving my potential and doing what makes me feel alive.

My 2022 mantra is Facilitating my Potential.

I want to be a better me in 2022 because seeking my life’s purpose hides my potential.

Rather than being a teacher or mentor, I am a facilitator. (Hey, Marcus, maybe that word solves your mentor-mentee question). The energy passed between teacher-student changes when facilitated toward the higher good of each other’s potential.

Your turn

It still amazes me the attention to writing when we participate in a challenge, especially when the outcome is tied to a dollar amount. Think about the big Medium Writers Challenge. During that challenge, some of my best writing occurred; was it the same for you? Kudos to Winston for tapping into the motivation. My motivation was the challenging part. I thrive when challenged to improve myself. Yes, it is another thing that makes me feel alive.

Bridging my 2021 mantra — dare to lead with my 2022 mantra -facilitating my potential honors my creativity, the art of being alive, and the synergetic energy I have been privileged to embrace by working with non-profits and now, writers on Medium. Writing is my art of being alive. So, if by chance I win the $100 prize from Winston challenge, I intend to donate it to NaNoWriMo Young Writers program.

Now it’s your turn — Do you play hide and seek with your potential? Leave me a comment about what makes you feel alive.