What Kind of Idiot Spends £200 on a Haircut?

Summary

The author defends their decision to spend £200 on a haircut and color, arguing that investing in frequently worn items, like hair and everyday clothing, is economically sensible and personally fulfilling.

Abstract

The author of the article shares their personal experience of spending a significant amount of money on a haircut and color, a decision that might initially seem extravagant. They justify this expense by explaining that, much like their £100 jumper which has proven cost-effective over time due to its durability and frequent use, the haircut is an investment in daily wear. The author emphasizes the importance of self-expression and personal identity through their appearance, particularly their hair, and how finding the right hairdresser can be transformative for one's self-esteem. After a three-year search, the author found a hairdresser who could capture their unique personality in their hairstyle, resulting in a feeling of rejuvenation and alignment with their sense of self. Despite the high cost, the author rationalizes it by comparing it to the cost per wear of other items and the daily enjoyment it brings, similar to the enjoyment one might get from a coffee, which they value more than giving up.

Opinions

The author believes in investing more in items that are used frequently, such as a signature jumper or a hairstyle, rather than one-time wears like a wedding dress.
They express that personal appearance, especially hair, is a significant factor in their sense of self and well-being.
The author suggests that the cost of a high-quality, frequently worn item can be justified by its cost per wear, which can be less than cheaper, less durable alternatives.
They value the environmental benefit of not disposing of clothing frequently, highlighting the long-term use of their expensive jumper.
The author acknowledges the difficulty in finding a hairdresser who understands their unique needs but believes the right stylist can provide a priceless sense of self.
They recognize the privilege of being able to afford such expenses and do not expect everyone to have the same financial flexibility.
The author humorously compares the cost of the haircut to the cost of coffee, beer, or wine, beverages they don't consume, to justify the expense.

With bonus content on why it makes sense to spend £100 on a single item of clothing.

Cropped photo by Victor Miyata: on pexels.com

Me. I just spent £200 on a haircut and colour.

I thought my two recent stories on the Benefits of Smoking and the Benefits of Not Exercising would be a tough sell. But this one is looking even trickier to defend.

I mean, who exactly has a spare £200 ($254) to blow on a visit to a hair salon? Money that would be better spent on bills or worthwhile charities. It seems indefensible. But is it?

I firmly believe that you should spend the most money on the things you wear most often. And you wear your hair (and teeth) every day.

I take this belief to heart, such that my wedding dress (one-time wear) was purchased for very little on eBay, whereas the jumper (US translation: sweater) that I wear almost every day through winter cost me £100 in 1998. It was a HUGE amount to spend on one jumper, but I have done the calculations, and the cost per wear is less than 4p, and if I live another 20 years, it will come down to less than 2p. This is ten times cheaper than a £2 Primark T-shirt that you only wear ten times before it falls apart. Factor in the benefits to the environment that I have never thrown a jumper away and it is practically paying me to wear it now.

The jumper that is over 25 years old now but still looks just as good. I, on the other hand . .. Photo from the family album.

I may have a fabulous jumper, but I have been without a decent hairdresser for a long time. Trust me when I say that you cannot Google: “gay, neurodivergent hairdresser working in a quiet area, ideally a smoker” and get any help whatsoever.

Fortunately, I have three sons who understand how Instagram works, and they finally managed to track down a possibility for me. If you type williamackerley into Instagram, you can find him too. If you click on the video, where he is wearing high heels and a black-and-white coat that is channelling his inner Cruella de Ville, you will also spot the fake Birkin handbag I am now saving up for. It has “FAKE AS FUCK” written on it, and if desire really is the root of all pain, I am in for a difficult year or two.

Where was I? Oh yes, the super expensive haircut. Now, let me be the first to admit that in a perfect world, our sense of self-worth will NOT come from what we look like or what we wear. Congratulations if you have reached that level of enlightenment.

Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, there is me. And the one thing that has always been guaranteed to lift my spirits is to change my hair to reflect who I am in the moment. I am constantly changing and evolving and my hair has to keep up with that, or I feel out of sync with the world.

I’ve been out of sync for three years. Ever since I left Cornwall and the hairdresser it took me four years to find there.

So it was with a great degree of trepidation that I set off again this morning on another attempt to find a hairdresser who was happy to run with my brief: I want you to experiment on me, I want you to get creative and have fun — and the end result needs to reflect ME: odd, quirky, different. But don’t worry if it doesn’t work out because failure is my middle name and hair grows back.

Let’s cut to the chase:

Will Ackerley and me with my new haircut. Selfie by author. Thanks, Will. PS: Feast your eyes on that coat!

CONCLUSION: I feel like me again. And that, to me, is priceless.

DISCLAIMER: I totally get that not everyone has that amount of money to blow on a haircut and colour. But I have worked out the cost per wear if I go back every ten weeks — and it is less than the cost of a coffee. I don’t want to give up coffee unless I have to, so I have decided that it is less than the cost of a pint of beer or glass of wine. And I don’t drink. So are we quits? Can you be happy for me?

TRUE STORY. NOT SATIRE.

What Kind of Idiot Spends £200 on a Haircut?

With bonus content on why it makes sense to spend £100 on a single item of clothing.