What if Those Suffering From Anxiety Are the Sane Ones?

The world is a scary place, but most of us choose to ignore it

I never understood how people could develop anxieties. I had a logical and rational mind. Worrying about things that were very unlikely to happen seemed like a waste of time and energy. I remember sitting on a plane next to a guy who was stammering, shaking, praying, and screaming in fear at every minor turbulence. I didn’t get it. The odds of dying in a car crash are 1 in 114, while the odds of dying in a plane crash are 1 in 9,821. Yet the fear of flying is recorded by 40% of the population, while only 6% of the population suffer from a fear of driving.

Only a few years later that person on the plane was me. Not only did I fear flying, but anything that wasn’t being at home, surrounded by my family. On bad days, just getting through a few hours in the office seemed the greatest challenge I had ever encountered. The person who had once wanted to pursue a life on stage had become terrified of just being in meetings. The rollercoaster-addict had suddenly become afraid of taking a bus. In a matter of weeks, my mindset around anxiety had completely changed. Bringing back the “old me” would take years of hard work. It might never fully happen.

Everyone believes in unlikely possibilities

What I didn’t take into account when I did all my logical-minded assessment of events that were unlikely to happen, is that humans like to believe in possibilities. The chances of winning the lottery are 1 in 45 million. Yet in the UK 70% of the population play the lottery regularly. Even if the odds are absolutely irrational, we want to believe that we could be that 1 person. Anxiety is similar, only that you fear that you might become that 1 person. And once that fear has manifested in your mind, it becomes very difficult to shake it off. Statistics aren’t helping if your mind constantly asks you: “Yes, but what if?”

What if, I am the unlucky one? What if, this happens to me?

I once fainted in public, I was 15 years old. At the time, it didn’t cause me any concerns and it never happened again. But 15 years later, I find myself driving a few miles up the road, my hands sweaty, heart racing and knuckles white from the tight grip around the steering wheel. All I can think about is making it safely to my destination without fainting. Overcoming this fear is exertion. I know I have to keep going, facing my fears over and over again. I know I have to keep telling myself that the odds of something happening are highly unlikely, but my mind is stubborn. It wants to believe in unlikely possibilities.

The world is a scary place but most of us choose to ignore it

A few years back, an incident happened close to my hometown. A bin lorry driver fainted in front of the steering wheel while driving through a busy road in the town center. The lorry killed 6 people and left 15 injured. Maybe the chances of me fainting while driving are slim, but the consequences would be devastating. For a long time, I chose to ignore them. Don’t we all?

If everyone would believe in the odds of something bad happening as much as they believe in the odds of winning the lottery, wouldn’t we all live in a constant state of anxiety?

My social anxiety revolves around embarrassing myself in public or at work. It hasn’t happened yet, but I still fear the possibility. I cannot forget the volume and intensity of my Ex’s laughter when he watched the youtube clip of a news reporter throwing up on live TV. It haunts me every time my tummy rumbles when I am in public. People love to laugh at other’s misfortunes and in today's society, a single misstep could instantly lead to unwanted fame. A video channel hosting “Fail Videos” is the 5th most popular channel on youtube. While you can live your whole life doing amazing things that only a handful of people will appreciate, make one mistake, and the world might know you for it. How can you not worry this might happen to you?

Dear young fearless me, sitting next to the guy on the plane who is stammering, shaking, praying, and screaming in fear. Have compassion. He is not crazy. He chooses to believe in odds and possibility. He truly understands the risks we take every day and appreciates the consequences. I don’t want to scare you, I admire your innocence and confidence. You are right of course, how would we enjoy the world if we constantly worried about anything that could happen. I don’t wish for anyone to have to go through what I did. I just want you to understand that anxieties might not be that irrational after all. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. Maybe those suffering from anxiety are the rational ones?

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