SELF LOVE

What if Human Were More Like Plants

A conversation piece about life lessons and plants

Me: I have never seen flowers from this plant. It’s rare.

Mary: I am surprised too. I bought it a year ago after we painted the workshop. Someone said it helps filter toxins from the air. I kept it in a corner just by the pantry.

Me: Nice, I can see the nectar dripping. So it must be attracting pollinators or insects.

Mary: Yes, this plant is unique. Let me explain. This plant will tolerate dry soil and live for a long time without water or nutrients. It manages on its own — an independent, fuss-free plant to have in your garden.

Me: If only humans are the same. Whine less, be more open and adaptable to the environment. 😟

Mary: Yes, you may think of the plant this way. In reality, when the plant feels neglected for too long, it starts to bloom for survival. Hence the flowers and the dripping honey nectar you see. It’s to tempt insects to stop by for a sip and spread its pollen on its behalf. This is the way the Snake Plant asks for help.

Me: That is interesting. It reminds me how we don’t like asking for help. We hesitate a lot. We often think that asking for help is being a nuisance to people. My parents used to say — “Don’t borrow money from people. Do things yourself; why must you bother other people? They are busy too. Only lazy people ask for help.”

Mary: Yes, I had the same brainwashing too. But let’s think more about this. The plant was tiny when I left it in the corner. But it grew more prominent with or without my help. It asked for help because it wants to continue growing. I think it is very sensible. It shows courage.

Me: So what you are saying people who asked for help are sensible because they have a purpose in life — like growing to be better. Hmm…I think you are on to something.

Mary: Yes, indeed. I believe we have to move away from the stigma of asking for help is only for losers. The brave ones know asking for help show strength and wanting to continue fighting for their dreams…..that is bravery to me.

Me: Tell me more…

Mary: First, let’s flip over to the side of the person who is offering help. You drop in every Wednesday to help at the farm. It’s not your job, and you live quite far. Why do you do it and tell me how you feel?

Me: Well…I do it because it makes me feel useful. I can contribute back to society; it is as if I have a small purpose every week. You know the famous saying ‘Live to serve’ kind of stuff. And I feel contented and glad my skills can help someone. I leave feeling confident. 😃

Mary: Yes, exactly. You feel happy helping someone. Did you expect something in return for this happiness?

Me: Nope. Not at all. I feel I gain from helping instead.

Mary: Now, let’s say one fine day, you need help with the nature pieces you are writing. Will you ask for help?

Me: Yes, I suppose so. I would be hesitant at first because everyone is so busy at the farm. I don’t like to impose or be an annoyance to people. But I have to ask for help eventually because I need the information.

Mary: Exactly my point. You are aware you only know so much about the farm and need help. People call this self-acceptance. Acknowledging you cannot do everything on your own, but you wish to pursue your goals in writing. It is mature and realistic at this point in your life. It is not about what others think is right or wrong. It takes courage to say ‘I can’t do everything.’ After all, you are the driver of your journey and you are just seeking for directions when lost.

Me: I see where you are going with this. Let’s say I agree with you. But why my hesitation then?

Mary: Silly woman, that’s because you are carrying this limiting belief that asking for help is for losers or you are a nuisance to others. Just like the snake plant. It can be left alone for a long time because it has an in-built system to tolerate prolonged droughts, but eventually this system will deplete its water reserve if there is no watering at all. Therefore, it blooms and sends out a pungent scent signaling for help.

Me: We have so much to learn from nature. 😅

Mary: That is true. It’s the cycle of life. Let me add. While you may think people will dislike extending help but in reality, it’s the opposite. You shared earlier how glad and confident you felt in helping at the farm.

Me: Yes, that’s true. Looks like seeking for help benefits both parties. I see what you mean about the cycle of life. How do we make asking for help easier?

Mary: That’s simple. It starts with you turning up for others first. When a person experiences how helping others is not an obligation. They would realised seeking help is allowing the other person an opportunity to find happiness. For me, there are no losers in asking or helping others.

Me: It does make sense. A human can be silly when it comes to our old fashion limiting beliefs. It’s as simple as showing up. When we do it often enough, asking for help could become 2nd nature. It’s almost reciprocal.

Mary: Yes, quite the same. The cycle of life.😄

Me: Okay, you have made some good points. I believe lunch is on me today. 😄😄

Mary is my go-to person when I want more information about plants or farming. We met as volunteers at our community farm. We would do 3–4 hours at the farm on Wednesdays and leave for lunch.

I wrote about the Snake Plant in The Daily Cuppa. As busy humans, we sometimes forget nature has been subtly dropping hints for us to learn.

It has inspired me to write about asking for help. Often this is one of the most challenging things for humans to do. Do share in the comment if you have helped someone recently and how do you feel after. Maybe this will encourage people to ask for help. ❤️

Thank you for stopping by.

In case you are curious about the Snake Plant. It also goes with the name — Mother In Law’s Tongue! 😉 Click on the link to discover more.