avatarAnupam Chugh

Summary

The article humorously reimagines famous brand slogans to reflect more honest and contemporary interpretations of the companies' products and services.

Abstract

The article titled "What if brand slogans were brutally honest?" explores the concept of brand slogans and how they can become disconnected from reality in the face of changing market dynamics and consumer perceptions. It provides a satirical take on the slogans of popular companies like Oneplus, Apple, and Facebook, offering a more candid version that reflects current sentiments and challenges. The piece highlights the discrepancy between the aspirational messages in traditional slogans and the actual experiences of customers, delivering a humorous yet thought-provoking critique of modern branding strategies.

Opinions

  • Oneplus: The brand's "Never settle" slogan is juxtaposed with the opinion that its prices are continually increasing.
  • Apple: The "Think Different" slogan is contrasted with the notion that Apple's products are uniquely similar and come with a premium price.
  • Monopoly: The game's slogan "Own it all" is sarcastically reduced to the idea that playing Monopoly can ruin friendships and waste time.
  • LinkedIn: The professional networking platform's mission to connect and empower professionals is humorously reinterpreted as a space where users endorse each other for skills they haven't witnessed.
  • Twitter: The platform's "What's Happening?" slogan is seen as a venue where celebrities are often subjected to trolling.
  • Facebook: The "It's quick and easy" slogan is mockingly directed at the ease of data collection by the company, referencing its CEO, Mark Zuckerberg.
  • Google: The "Don’t be evil" motto is challenged with a call to stop serving ads, implying Google's extensive advertising business.
  • Pepsi: The "The choice of a new generation" slogan is downplayed to suggest Pepsi is only chosen when Coca-Cola is unavailable.
  • Coca-Cola: The "Open Happiness" message is cheekily associated with the historical inclusion of cocaine as an ingredient.
  • Starbucks: The coffee chain's unofficial slogan is likened to an

What if brand slogans were brutally honest?

Sometimes being honest is hilarious

Photo by REVOLT on Unsplash

Brand slogans in many ways are mini-mission statements. They’re an audible form of advertising. No wonder, the world knows what a “Just Do It” or a “I’m Lovin’ it” refers to.

Often, unknowingly, famous companies sway away from their actual goal or their target audience does for reasons beyond control(like today, when we’re sheltering in place). This makes their actual slogans feel out of context.

Let’s look at some of the popular company slogans and how a little tweak makes them more relevant today. The outcome might not be a pleasant one, but it’ll make you chuckle, hopefully.

1. Oneplus

Actual: “Never settle” Honest: The price keeps increasing.

2. Apple

Actual: “Think Different” Honest: Except the price, it’s identically unique.

3. Monopoly

Actual: “Own it all” Honest: Kill our friendships and time.

4. LinkedIn

Actual: “Connecting the world’s professionals to make them more productive and successful.” Honest: Endorse me for skills you’ve never seen.

5. Twitter

Actual: “What’s Happening?” Honest: Famous people are getting trolled.

6. Facebook

Actual: “It’s quick and easy” Honest: Yeah, pulling our data should be simple for you, Mark.

7. Google

Actual: “Don’t be evil” Honest: Okay, stop serving ads.

8. Pepsi

Actual: “The choice of a new generation” Honest: When there’s no coke.

9. Coca-Cola

Actual: “Open Happiness” Honest: Is cocaine still an additive?

10. Starbucks

Actual: There’s no official slogan. We just inspire and nurture the human spirit — one person, one cup, one neighborhood at a time. Honest: An expensive McCafé.

11. McDonald's

Actual: “I’m lovin’ it” Honest: Only when I’m broke.

12. Zoom

Actual: We have no time to write one Honest: Are you watching me?

13. Houseparty

Actual: *We have no slogan* Honest: Quarantine and Zoom made you viral.

14. Lego

Actual: “Only the best is good enough” Honest: What doesn’t kill my feet makes me stronger.

15. Netflix

Actual: “See what’s next” Honest: Let’s just chill.

16. Nike

Actual: “Just do it” Honest: Behind closed doors.

17. Amazon

Actual: “Work Hard. Have fun.” Honest: Can we go home?

18. Disneyland

Actual: “The happiest place on earth” Honest: The emptiest place on earth.

19. Corona Extra Beer

Actual: “Miles away from the ordinary.” Honest: We are, while also hoping your beer sales recover quickly.

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Humor
Satire
Business
Marketing
Comedy
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